My Review of Lust of The Dead (Yeah, it’s exactly what you think it is)

Hello fellow zombie apocalypse survivor wannabes, this is my first time providing content for the ZADF. I was recently contacted by a friend and asked if I would like to do the occasional review of foreign horror films for this site. Since the only thing I like better than sharing my opinion, is sharing my opinion over the internet (significantly less face-punching this way). I readily agreed. Only one problem. What would I review? You see, for my first outing I wasn’t assigned a specific film. It was left up to me to choose one. Being that the site is called Zombie Apocalypse Defense Force, I decided that my first review should definitely be a zombie movie. So, I started browsing Netflix for a selection. Oddly enough, Netflix had a recommendation all lined up for me. Due to my past viewing preferences, it seemed to think I would enjoy a Japanese “horror” film called Lust of The Dead. Apparently, if You watch enough anime, Netflix just goes ahead and assumes you are some kind of lonely perv. But I needed a foreign zombie film, and here one was, so what the hell. Now, I kind of suspected where this was going right out of the gate. I mean the title is Lust of The Dead, and there are four scantily clad women on the cover who look like something out of a cosplay fantasy fetish. So, judging by that image, and the extremely vague description Netflix gave me, and of course taking into account what I know about certain Japanese cultural proclivities. I kind of suspected where this might be going. I started the film, and my suspicions were almost immediately confirmed. Yep . . . rape zombies. Someone in Japan had made, and I was now watching, what is basically a soft-core porn movie about rape zombies. Oh Japan, you and your wacky rape culture. Well, I went ahead and committed myself to about an hour an half of eww, and watched the damn thing. I did it, so that none of you would have to. So, without further ado, here is my review of Lust of The Dead. I’m not really going to get into an in-depth summary of the movie’s plot (mainly because there wasn’t much of a plot to summarize) but basically there is a virus that causes pretty much all men to become zombie rapists. Oh, and it has something vaguely to do with testosterone. Really, the fact that the men are actually undead almost seems like an afterthought at times. Except, of course, that the only way to destroy the zombies is to shoot or stab them in the penis. Yeah, the movie makes the obvious shoot them in the “head” jokes, and then pats itself on the back as if it that were the height of cleverness. Let’s see, what else? Oh yeah, almost forgot, zombie semen is poison and kills women, turning them into zombies. Hey, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t write the movie. So, anyway, you’ve got rape zombies, and you’ve got those four women on the cover trying to survive the rape zombie apocalypse. Some other stuff happens, and then there is some more rape, interspersed with some fairly ridiculous Japanese gore-fest style violence. Then, every now and then the movie cuts to a news report with talking heads who are debating the cause of the rape zombie apocalypse. This is where the movie makes some mild attempts at pretending like they had some kind of message. Sometimes it seems like they might be trying to say something about the hardcore feminist idea that all mean are rapists, other times it seems like they might actually be attempting to lambast Japanese rape culture, but none of it really comes across. Really, it all just seemed like a way to fill time between zombie rape scenes, and the only message I walked away with is: holy shit, the Japanese are really messed up (which I already knew). To sum things up: this movie sucks. For most people the fact that there are rape zombies is pretty much going to say it all. I doubt many of you will be racing to watch this film. However, I know there are some people with slightly darker senses of humor who could enjoy something like this. Only, you won’t. Because even if you aren’t offended by the very premise, it still just isn’t a very good movie. Basically, the target audience for this film is anybody who enjoys ridiculously juvenile, and poorly shot, depictions of sexual violence. Honestly, I don’t see how this movie has much appeal for anyone, but apparently someone liked it. They must have, since they made two more of the damn things. Yeah, apparently rape zombies warranted a trilogy.