After a nutty exposition dump set to stock footage where we learn The Astrologer, Alexi (Bob Byrd), a mystic who uses astrology and computers to predict the future and advise world leaders from his swanky headquarters along with the top-secret branch of the CIA; Interzod.
So what exciting case is Alexi involved in at the present? Well, it seems in ten days time, the second coming of Christ is going down, so there’s that to contend with, plus Alexi’s girlfriend (maybe it’s his wife… I have no idea, and perhaps the film doesn’t either) Kate (Monica Tidwell) goes to see a psychic that gives her a reading (seems fucking redundant as all fuckity fuck seeing as who her boyfriend is and all)… after Kate gets nude first; as is the fortune telling way we are all accustomed to, amirite?
Soon ol’ Alexi hops a wall-to-wall carpeted airplane to give a talk somewhere or another, while in stock-footage laden India, a great evil is setting up shop (think painted symbols on the forehead and naked chicks standing around in front of a fire as the footage goes slow-mo… you know, the big Satanic guns). I really have no concept of how Alexi is going to save the world and defeat the modern-day antichrist (Mark Buntzman)… hell I have no idea how everything in this picture will gel into a cohesive whole!
I will however tell you that piss-poor beef wellington, mondo style stock footage, upstate New York gypsy covens, and the dangers of teen pregnancy ensue… oh, and Kate may be a reincarnation of the Virgin Mary.
The Astrologer… I salute you, you magnificent bastard! This flick is nothing if not completely, and utterly, batshit insane. The narrative runs with one religious or New Age blast of quackery or another at any given time, and does a heroes work trying to blend them together, though oft times it doesn’t seem to give much of a fuck either way.
that’s not to say the project isn’t ambitious as hell, as it tries to deliver a veritable shit-ton of high concepts on a minuscule budget, and no matter how bizarre those concepts get they never seem out of place in the presented narrative… which is a fancy book learnin’ way to say that director James Glickenhaus managed to cram a bunch of square pegs in round holes with a greater sense of success then one would imagine.
As for extra features on this Blu-ray release, our putrid pals at sinister Severin have included some fine bonus nugs. First up we get Glickenhaus discussing the picture and how it came to be in a frank manner, interviews with Tidwell, filmmakers Brendan Faulkner (assistant cameraman) & Frank M. Farel (gaffer/grip), (and best of all) a tour of the film’s locations as they appear today, hosted by Rue Morgue Magazine East Coast Editor Michael Gingold.
A huge slice of ’70s bizzaro cinema that simply must be experienced by grindhouse devotees; The Astrologer is a solid gold weirdo winner!
