Blu-ray Review: Grizzly II: Revenge (2021… sort of… 1983… kinda)

Remember the 1976 “nature-run-amok” thriller Grizzly? Sure you (probably don’t) do?!!
Well great news, a sequel was “sorta” made in 1983, and it features mother fuckin’ George Clooney, Charlie Sheen, Laura Dern, and genre mainstays Louise Fletcher, Deborah Foreman, and John Rhys-Davies (to varying degrees)! Yeah, at this point if you told me Brando played the bear I’d probably be inclined to believe you…
Anyway, Grizzly II: Revenge… what’s it about? Glad you didn’t ask!
After poachers start offing grizzlies in a national park, a giant-ass bear decides to go ape-shit right at the same time a huge forest-based rock concert (which I refuse to believe are a fucking thing) is set to take place and bring in some much needed revenue for the park.
Of course that concert isn’t about to be cancelled due to Yogi puttin’ a murder on everyone thanks to greedy-ass Eileene Draygon (Fletcher) calling the shots. So it falls on the manly shoulders of park ranger/daughter enthusiast Nick Hollister (Steve Inwood), non-distinct Samantha (Deborah Raffin), and outrageously mulleted (and French accented) Bouchard (Davies) to try and put an end to the terror before that bear rips the concert goers a new asshole or two!
Speaking of “assholes”, I nearly blew mine out from the side-splitting hilarity that is Grizzly II: Revenge (feel free to use that in any and all marketing)!
How do I put this… any film originally shot for this picture in 1983… and to be fair to fans who have been looking to see this hitherto lost fright flick there is a great deal of it… has been, in places, edited together in a manner akin to that footage Rock Bottom created to make Homer Simpson look like a sex offender… with every word edited in from some other sentence or source to dizzying, and absurd effect.
Add in ridiculous dubbing, stock footage wildly inappropriate to the 1983 setting surrounding it, modern concert footage of some rando bands, and an overly bombastic score that is way too excited for the images it accentuates, and you got the ingredients for a cinematic-shit salad second to none!
Also of note are he ridiculous bands that are actually from the original including some Simon LeBon/Limahl mash-up no one demanded, and a new wave girl group warbling on about how one would take the Milk From the Coconut and Calories… priceless.
On the other hand, seeing an earnest Davies take on the cool-ass bear suit was really rad… I just wish we got to see more of that as it’s pure creature feature fun… but alas it was never meant to be!
As for special features on this Blu-ray release from Gravitas you get absolutely fuckin’ nothing… but believe you me, the film is more than enough.
Look, just buy Grizzly II: Revenge (here’s a link)… and buy one for every single lover of our beloved trash cinema in your life! I guarantee you’ve never seen… no, experienced anything like it before, and you’ll be entertained in ways you never dreamed possible…
I’m giving this 5 skulls, because that’s the highest graphic I have… but trust me cats n’ creeps this one gets all the fucking skulls!