Author Archive | DanXIII

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Movie Review: Cute Little Buggers is a Campy Sci-Fi Bloodbath!

  Cute Little Buggers begins as any great culturally relevant piece of art would; namely with horny fish aliens (with British accents) flying down to Earth in their U.F.O. in an attempt to impregnate any human female they can possibly get their hands…err, flippers…fins…whatever…on. To achieve this they splice alien D.N.A. into the local rabbit […]

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Movie Review: The Devil’s Well is Well Worth Dipping Into!

  The Devil’s Well concerns the misadventures of a husband and wife paranormal investigation team that arrive in a small town to investigate a hotspot called The Devil’s Well (‘natch). Well the wife of the duo, Karla, goes missing, and the chief suspect is of course her husband Bryan is suspecto numero uno (I’m a […]

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Movie Review: The Cat O’ Nine Tails Gives Giallo Fans Something to Purr About!

  Blind crossword puzzle author (is that what people who create those things are even called???) Franco (Karl Malden, proving he walked the streets of Rome before those of San Francisco) is taking a stroll one night with his young niece Lori (Cinzia De Carolis) when he overhears a plan to blackmail a scientist who […]

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Movie Review: Desolation Will Make Sure Your Terror Is Televised!

  Desolation begins with a woman dousing herself in alcohol and lighting herself ablaze in front of a rolling camera…talk about your all over hot foot, eh fiends?!! We then switch gears to focus on sad sack hotel worker Katie (Dominik García-Lorido) who soon begins hanging out with movie star Jay ( Brock Kelly) who’s […]

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Movie Review: House of Salem is a Demonic Dwelling Worth Visiting!

  A young dude is put to bed by his smoke show of a babysitter and proceeds to have a series of nightmarish visions that resemble The Wicker Man if it was directed by Clive Barker…most likely because he ditches his meds before takin’ the one way express to nighty-night junction…or so it seems. Then […]

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Movie Review: Sasq-watch is Worth Layin’ Your Eerie Eyeballs On!

  Sasq-watch concerns the half-ass adventures of two brothers; Nigel and Oscar (played by Paul Brittain and Adam Herschman respectively), who have made it their mission in life to collect a huge bounty offered by the family of a deceased Bigfoot hunter before the reward is discontinued. After missing their scheduled guided tour, they hook […]

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