MTV’s SCREAM: Happy Birthday To Me’ Channeled CARRIE

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June 21, 2016

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Written by Capt McNeely

Georgia Division ZADF Twitter: @ZADF_ORG

I can still hear Brooke’s Scream! Last night SCREAM: Happy Birthday To Me aired. Which by the way is named after an 80’s-90’s horror film, as well as this whole season so far. Anyway. This episode brought the traditional SCREAM party to the surface but it didn’t end in bloodbath, at least not in the conscious world. After the killer [impersonating Jake], put a bottle of spiked liquor on Emma’s doorstep for Keiran’s surprise birthday party, things got ghostly..and well stabby [give me a break its midnight].

So the episode opened with a dream from Emma of her and Keiran fooling around [;)] and then the killer coming in and sticking his/her knife threw Keiran’s chest. But it’s all a dream so lover boy is still kicking. Anyway during this [in the conscious world] Audry finds a gash on her leg from the bottle opener she found in her car from the killer which he/she used to murder Eddie [the motel guy]. From there Emma and her parents had a fight which ended in basically “you both suck” and Brooke texts Jake [who by the way is dead, so it’s the killer] and he/she texted back “I’ll see you tomorrow”. It can’t be Audry with Jake’s phone because she didn’t kill Jake. But if the killer is after her because she killed somebody, then that means there was three killers this entire time. So anyway Eli during all of this makes it down to Lakewood’s hottest coffee shop [“] and I already forgot the name [“] to apply for a job. By doing so he meets up with Emma. So those two go back and forth and Keiran’s birthday comes up where Eli then slips in Keiran is subtle and wants a big ordeal.

So as Emma is planning a surprise party with Brooke for Keiran. Audry catches Gustavo making eyes at her while he’s drawing on his tablet, so she, being her cunning self, sets off the fire alarm in the school forcing everyone to evacuate. While everyone is leaving class, Audry sneaks into Gustavo’s bag [hoping to find damning evidence that he’s the killer] and turns on his tablet to find a gallery of the Lakewood 5 in perfect portrait but concluding with a bludgeoned Emma. Damn Stavo, this does not look good for you. Maybe you’re the one calling Audry. Which brings me back to the three killers theory.

So now Mayor Maddox goes over to Sheriff Acosta’s office to blackmail him into doing a search for Jake because “The kid screwed him over”. The Sheriff reluctantly goes searching for Jake only to find out he’s been sick with strep-throat and has been home from school for awhile calling in sick while his parents are in Mexico [he’s dead though, so it’s the killer with a voice changer calling Jake in sick for school]. So the sheriff now finally [!] is investigating the infamous missing Jake and his investigation brings him to Jake’s mansion. Which then leaves the Sheriff with a dead-end because the only residents who would’ve been there would’ve been Jake and he’s dead and his parents which are vacationing in Mexico. This all then eggs-on a full blown missing-persons investigation. So while the Sheriff is doing his thing, Emma is setting up a surprise birthday party for Kieran, with Eli there. While Emma and Eli are alone..something [almost] happens between them which leaves of course Emma confused. But. That’s short lived. Moving on. So now Brooke shows up with a big @ss bottle of liquor to kick off the event. But as truth soon surfaces Brooke didn’t bring the liquor from home. She found it on Emma’s doorstep with a note saying it was from Jake [again Jake’s dead, so it’s the killer].

As the party kicks off and Kieran arrives, EVERYONE starts freakin’ chucking. It was like a freakin’ epidemic as everyone complains the liquor was tainted. So of course Gustavo chimes in that the liquor was drugged and he used the same drug back in his home town of Phoenix. But he didn’t drug it. He claims. So he tells everyone that they could experience hallucinations and paranoia from the drug. Of course everyone is sh!tting there pants scared, but they were in for an even more wilder ride than there natural anxieties ever out put them through.

As Brooke has an hallucinations her water is on fire, Gustavo swoops in and guides her to the bedroom where he then starts..you know, rubbing her feet sweet talking her, paint a picture. As Gustavo is making a move, Brooke has a hallucination of Jake telling her creepily “he just wants to get in your pants”, “you’re not over me.”. So after hearing that she runs out and leaves Gustavo just sitting there like “what tf just happened!”. While all that was happening, Emma goes off with Keiran into a bedroom and Audry goes looking for her, which is when SCREAM got even more trippy. Audry has a hallucination of her and her dead girlfriend Rachel making out. She thinks she’s making out with Rachel but she’s really making out with Noah. Which then leads Audry, Noah and Zoe to have a threesome make out. During this, SCREAM got knife happy in Emma’s sub-conscious. Emma has a hallucination of her seeing the killer running towards her and stabbing her. Which then leads Emma to be saved be her dad, who by the way was in the right place at the right time to play hero. Suspicious much pops?! So the Sherrif comes over, hashes out what happened, in doing so finds out about the letter from Jake [by the killer] and that his son is drawing creepy portraits of the would-be victims from the last Lakewood massacre.

After the drugs wore off, stuff got pretty CARRIE in SCREAM. The episode ended off with Ladies Of Lakewood’s contestants being called on the stage to be crowned, of course Brooke was one of them. But not by chance, on purpose. It was rigged by the killer [or maybe her dad]. Whoever rigged it set Brooke up for the biggest surprise of her life. As Brooke stands in the spotlight. All eyes on her. Smiling and Waving. Head-to-toe polished. All in white. Faking a smile for the crowd and her demanding father. The banner drops above her, to reveal she’s the winner. As the fabric unfolds from its past folding, a pool of blood showers her. In a very CARRIE way by the way. As the blood stopped pouring, Jake’s body smacked to the ground. Screams filled the room. What an ending to an episode! I have to say, by far this week’s and last week’s episodes were the strongest of the season.