So far, nearly a hundred horror movies have been released this year. Still, the title of strangest has to go to Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, which sets out to ruin your childhood by putting a horror spin on the lovable characters based on the iconic Winnie-the-pooh books by author A. A. Milne.
The movie sees the days of adventures and merriment have ended, as Christopher Robin, now a young man, has left Winnie-The-Pooh and Piglet to fend for themselves. As time passes, feeling angry and abandoned, the two become feral. After getting a taste for blood, Winnie-The-Pooh and Piglet set off to find a new source of food: humans.
In Blood and Honey, we get a disturbing version of Pooh and Piglet, turning them into half-animal, half-human creatures. Pooh is a constantly drooling, hulking monster, and Piglet has reverted to his primal state. I will say this: the actors’ masks look pretty good, even though their range of expression is practically zero. That may be my last sort of positive statement regarding this movie, so buckle up.
The movie has a major character problem. I would say that Christopher Robins is a bit of a bitch, but that would be an insult to female dogs. He’s absolutely pathetic. He sits there and whines and begs when people are getting killed. He doesn’t actually try to help. It’s obnoxious. And Jesus, every single character is absolutely moronic. Most characters sit there instead of fighting or running and allow themselves to be killed. Nearly all of the victims could have easily gotten away. And what is with all of the stereotypical characters, the kind we say way too often, the slut, the wounded girl, the nerd, etc? Really?
No one needs a crystal ball to guess what happens next in this movie. It is so predictable that it’s ridiculous. Besides being the first horror movie based on the childhood characters we all love, there is absolutely nothing original about this movie. It has a great gimmick, but the movie fails repeatedly thanks to its terrible writing.
When it comes to the special effects, they’re just meh. While a good deal of the effects seem to be practical, the CGI blood was a huge disappointment. Out of everything, why in the hell would you use CGI blood? It looks so bad that it’s almost funny, almost.
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is a terrible film, and not in a good way. It has zero redeeming qualities. I would rather smear myself with honey and lay down in an ant bed than watch this movie again. But if you insist on watching it, you can find it streaming on Peacock and several other streaming services. It’s also out on Blu-ray, but I would advise you to save your money and time for a movie that’s actually decent.
