I watched the Tubi Original horror film, Match, so you don’t have to. And I have some thoughts. The movie was billed as “controversial” and “brutal”—is it worth watching?
WARNING SPOILERS!
Written by Jon and Al Kaplan, this movie clearly aims to create an experience through nervous laughter and squirm-inducing moments. Unfortunately, it mostly misses the mark. The film’s entire claim to fame rests on a few outrageous elements: a jarring moment of incest, a giant prop penis, and a mouse trap gag. Unfortunately, those brief shocks are essentially all the movie offers.
The story centers on Paola, a woman simply trying to navigate the world of dating apps. Her search for connection turns into horror after she arrives at Henry’s secluded home, where a grotesque, hunchbacked villain and his mom await. Henry and his equally villainous mother, who dominate the screen, have catfished Paola, intending to use her as a future baby mama.
However, the plot quickly gets messy. Paola puts up a fight, but her sister and a friend arrive to look for her. Paola meets her supposed “knight in shining wheelchair,” who turns out to be Henry’s brother. The film strains credulity when Paola, despite learning that the brother is entirely in on the catfishing scheme, still shows romantic interest. The central question becomes, “What are these characters thinking?”
The movie should have been titled “Hesitation,” because it becomes a fatal running theme that gets character after character killed. Paola, after knowing the wheelchair-bound brother for about twenty minutes, allows her emotions to override basic self-preservation, directly causing her sister’s death. The ending resolves only for Paola—everyone else meets a miserable end. In the final seconds, she’s deleting her dating apps, only to receive a new notification from one, and she visibly hesitates. The message is clear: the cycle of poor decision-making continues.
One thing that really disappointed me was how predictable Match is. It’s a repeat of the same old horror tropes we have seen a million times too many. Also, this movie is a perfect example of how trailers spoil movies by revealing way too much.
The film’s most talked-about scene, an unexpected moment of incest, is undeniably shocking, but you see nothing explicit—only suggestive movements. Then there’s a scene featuring a shot that lingers (too long) on Henry’s giant dong, which Paola snaps a mousetrap on. I’m not sure if it was meant to bring humor, shock, or unease, but it just lacked punch. It came across as neither frightening nor fun. However, the most shocking thing is that this movie has genuinely terrible visual effects, confusing character motivations, and a too slow pace.
The character who impressed me the most was Henry’s mom, played by Dianne Simpson. She reminded me way too much of my ex-mother-in-law (minus the incest). Talk about scary. Her performance was a special brand of crazy, and it did not go unappreciated. As for the leading lady, played by Humberly González she did well with what she was given. I’ll also say she has a really nice scream. As far as hump-backed, mutant men go, Jacques Adriaanse did a good job as Henry.
Match tries to use outrageous violence and taboo content for thrills and fame, but its weak execution leaves viewers with less catharsis and more confusion. If it was aiming for shock, they should have gone further.
Don’t get me wrong, Tubi has some great original horror films, but this just isn’t one of them.
