Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass: An Apocalyptic Horror Novel by F. A. Tallahassee

February 2, 2015

Written by Fox Emm

Fox is a freelance writer and editor whose work can be found on several sites (bloggingonward.com, gorestruly.com, wickedhorror.com, and this one!) She's a movie, comic, book, and tech reviewer and overall horror fiend. Pet enthusiast. X-files fan. Small sentence writer. Her multi-author horror anthology is out on Amazon: https://getbook.at/badneighborhoodpaperback

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Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass, an Apocalyptic Horror Novel, blending Action and Adventure with Thrills and Chills.

It’s Armageddon, supernatural stuff is going down and there really is no more room in hell. Our feisty heroine, Champagne Jackson kicks a lot of zombie ass, strings together some choice profanities and learns how to survive the horrors of a world gone mad. She has Marine Sergeant Mike Wilkins along, together with two resourceful Hispanic children, so if they work together, maybe, just maybe, the zombie horde won’t know what’s hit it.

Of course, if the walking dead don’t kill you, the living will. There’s the Gravedigger Crew, a powerful black gang run by the man mountain known as Tiny Tyler, together with his lieutenant, Lord Slice, a killer midget, who’s deadly with any edged weapon. Plus there’s the Marauders, a vicious white supremacist outfit who are on the rampage through the new urban wasteland and taking no prisoners. And last, but not least, there’s a tough Chicano mob, the Death Dealers, headed by a smart and ruthless leader. Let’s just say that racial tensions are running a little high and that the suspense really is killing people. Although they do have a nasty tendency to come back again. The dead don’t seem to realize that life is for the living.

Can our heroes escape this 3-way gang war and make it out of the big, bad city alive, relatively free of bullet holes and, of course, devoid of zombie bite marks? More to the point, can Champagne Jackson make it through the apocalypse free of hickeys? The diminutive Lord Slice likes his ladies big and round and sassy, just like her. He has his beady, psychopathic eye on both her and her oversized booty. There’s some twisted romance in the air alright, but Champagne Jackson is nobody’s fool and she has a right hook that could fell a buffalo.

Yeah, nobody said that life after the Eboflu virus went pandemic was going to be easy, but does post-apocalyptic survival have to be such a total bitch?

Remember folks, the only good zombie is a dead zombie. And I mean really dead, a bullet through the head, leaking its little brain, all the way down the drain.

BETTER DEAD THAN ZED!

DEZOMBIFY!

Caution! This book contains strong, sustained, bloody violence and a whole mess of cuss words. If that’s not your bag, then this is not for you. If it is, then man, have we got some crazy ass shit lined up for you!

Why You Should Read This Book.

It comes fully equipped with:

  • Crisp, witty dialogue that snaps like a whip, crackles like fire and pops right off the page.
  • A ballsy, turbo-charged plot that brims with suspense, intrigue and surprises.
  • A heroine with heart, soul and more attitude than she’s got booty and, as we mentioned, her butt is pretty big.
  • An electrifying horror tale, well told.
  • A nightmare world populated with criminals, psychopaths, murderers and the living dead. It’s worse than bingo night in No Hope, Alabama.
  • Action packed scenes and a climax that really delivers.
  • A gritty, hard-hitting story of the supernatural that’s gore soaked and laced with dark humor.
  • An original, provocative and powerful narrative.
  • A ticket to a thrilling roller coaster ride through a terrifying landscape.

A Few Final Words

This novel was immense fun to write. It started as a short story, but Champagne Jackson was too irrepressible to be contained. The story snowballed and a rogue’s gallery of weird and wonderful characters insisted on taking the journey with her. Why not join them?

Needless to say, that is the longest book description I have stumbled across in quite a long time. This particular description has an added benefit, it was written by the author himself. You get a peek into what Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass reads like before you even click ‘Buy Now’. If you’re intrigued by the humor outlined in the above introduction, read on! There are more good things in store for you.

 

Originality 5/5

Honestly, if I were being completely candid – giving Champagne Jackson a 5 on originality is an incredible understatement. I’ve never read anything like it! The story takes on the Zombie Apocalypse genre in a way that is different from anything I’ve read so far. Jackson herself turns uniqueness up past 11, and that’s before the reader is introduced to the other characters in this insane adventure. This is the first zombie book I’ve read with a person of color as the pivotal character, and while I can’t comment on whether or not as a book it contains as much (or less than?) cultural accuracy as The Cleveland Show, I applaud the author for writing the novel and maintaining the strength of this powerful, hilarious female character throughout the book. Champagne is smart, tough, and full of sass – and I can’t help but love her for it.

 

Entertainment 5/5

While they say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, this time you can probably make an exception. A clever, albeit punny joke, striking black and white (read: direct) cover, and a to-the-point title are all pretty accurate predictors of what readers are in store for when they pick up this book. As stated above, Champagne is a force to be reckoned with. With each new enemy, be they zombie or gang banger, Champagne and her allies rally together to come out on top. There is no denying that the plot line takes some ridiculous twists and turns, which you hopefully gathered by reading the above synopsis, but it isn’t at any point so completely ridiculous that it loses sight of itself as a story which takes place during a zombie apocalypse. (Sometimes books get a little too caught up in their crazy and forget all about the undead; thankfully this is not one of those titles!)

 

Writing Style 5/5 & Writing Flow 5/5

F. A. Tallahassee writes in a fairly conversational style which flows naturally with each passing event. (Regardless of how strange or absurd the event may be. By the end of the story, you’ll wonder if zombies were the least probable enemy in the book!) The narrator’s voice is not Champagne Jackson’s, but it is evident that she is the central focus of the story from start to finish. After spending just a few dozen pages with Mrs. Jackson it will become easily apparent why the author states at the end of his introduction that “[the book] started as a short story, but Champagne Jackson was too irrepressible to be contained.”  ((One thing that I will mention here is that the book has a few passages which could have used additional editing/another set of eyes. While they were few and far enough in between to not distract me from the overall premise and story, if that is a deal breaker for you – consider checking out another one of my recent zombie favorites like Dead Days or American Revenant.))

 

Scene Description 3/5

Although there is a lot of personality in each scene, not every location or happening receives highly tailored descriptions. There is absolutely enough description for the average reader to get by, and enough for me to feel like I was a part of the story, but it wasn’t the same ‘all encompassing/ad nauseam’ level of detail that sometimes wiggles its way into fiction at the expense of important information or clever banter. (This may be a personal weakness, but I would generally prefer clever/witty banter to excessive description.) That being said, there was sufficient description to understand what was going on, and get a clear picture of surroundings without knowing all of the ins and outs of any given locale – that style is perfect for this type of story.

 

Overall 5/5

If you’re looking for a quick read that is as light hearted and ridiculous as it is gorey and witty, you won’t find a better match than Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass. Although I have read several zombie based books that I have considered to be “just for fun” more so than serious literary pursuits, this book is one of my favorites because of its over the top presence as well as the author’s enthusiasm. The zeal contained in the pages of this book is the same that you read in the description pasted above – and if there’s one thing I love, it’s an author who is as enthusiastic about their books as I am.

Aside: In honor of Women in Horror Month I will be reviewing a book or comic written by female authors or which prominently featuring female characters for each Monday in the month of February. There are plenty! This spotlight for female writers/characters in books and comics will be in addition to each of the Women in Horror Spotlights we are doing here at ZADF each day in February. (…and of course, this is also in addition to the sheer awesome Capt. McNeely and I contribute to the horror genre on a daily and weekly basis both on ZADF and beyond! 😉 ) At the bottom of each book review I will have links to the books discussed in previous weeks so that you can see who else has been featured!

Other Women In Horror Month Book Reviews:

Champagne Jackson Kicks Zombie Ass ~ Darlings of Decay: A Zombie Anthology ~ Zombie Games (Origin) ~ Benton: A Zombie Novel

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