Movie Review: Dead House (2014)

June 30, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Three ultra-degenerates wander the affluent suburbs looking for families to abuse in their own trademarked way, namely; they film the matriarch and patriarch gettin’ it on in front of the rest of the family (how rude!) then they off everyone and steal whatever shit appeals to their greedy lil’ hearts. As is the way, nothing lasts forever…even cold November Rain…and rapey crime sprees because our terror trio picks on the wrong family when they come a knockin’ on the door of the Pontecorvo’s. You see this family harbors a secret zombie filled lab in their home (as you do), and that trio of beastly boobs of course unleash that hell resulting in the expected bloodbath…but just who will survive the onslaught?
I’m going to cut right to the chase…Dead House (a.k.a. Beautiful People) takes waaaay too long to get to the arcane action! It’s nearly forty five minutes (out of an hour and thirteen minute run time…with credits) before the monsters to begin their rampage…and that’s a real shame, because this film features some absolutely excellent creature make-ups and gore…all realized with gorgeous practical effects (seriously, kudos to the F/X artists on this one)!
But all is not lost my fiends; quite the contrary as the performances of Danny Cutler and Alex Lucchesi as two of the demented trio of murderous madmen are so over-the-top comic book crazy and eat up so much fucking scenery that it’s simply impossible to take your attention off from them and not enjoy their off-kilter insanity…no matter how much you want the creature feature calamity to ensue. Adding to that, the supporting actors all do a solid job, and the story dovetails into some suitably dark territory before delivering the gory goods us horror hounds lap up with such grizzly gusto!
If you ever wondered what Funny Games would be like with zombies and mutants, then Dead House is the flick for you…and if you haven’t I’d still recommend checking out this effects packed, slightly…okay very intentionally outrageous, if uneven romp. You’ll get your fill of sleazy villains, creatures, and gore…guaranteed!


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