Author Archive | DanXIII

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Movie Review: [Cargo] (2018)

Anthony Peterson (Ron Thompson) is in a bit of a fuckin’ pickle. See, ol’ Tony-baloney has got his ass kidnapped and locked inside a cargo container located in parts unknown, with only his cellphone to keep him company. Good thing he has that device, as soon he is contacted by his captors and ordered to […]

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Blu-ray Review: The Unnamable (1988)

In the 18th century, ol’ Joshua Winthrop is having some troubles with his teenage daughter Alyda…who just so happens to be a blood crazed demonic monster afraid of thunder and lightning. (Fuckin’ kids, amirite?) Anyway, she performs the murder biz on the geezer. Flash forward to the eerie eighties and our boy Randolph Carter (Mark […]

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Movie Review: Ugly Sweater Party (2018)

Pals Jody (Hunter Johnson) and Cliff (Charles Chudabala) are wicked excited to attend a Christmas party at a secluded cabin thrown by some hot n’ horny twins. Finding out at the 11th hour that the affair is one of those ugly sweater get-togethers, our dashing duo buy a sweater from a homeless man…but there’ s […]

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Movie Review: Prodigy (2018)

Erik (Cory Kays) is livin’ the sad-sack lifestyle thanks to the loss of his wife Emily (Adrianne White)…a lifestyle that leads to that ol’ classic; self medicatin’! Adding to the fun is his estranged son, who makes with the demands; like carting his ass to a undisclosed location (try slammin’ that one up in your […]

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Movie Review: Cam (2018)

Alice (Madeline Brewer) makes her livin’ showing the goods on her softcore live-streaming channel, but things are getting stale and numbers are dropping so she does what one does and pulls macabre stunts (such as everyone’s favorite hoary ol’ chestnut; a fake suicide) and goes further and further with her sexual content. This definitely gets more […]

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Movie Review: Lasso (2018)

A bunch of old farts and their caretakers embark on a senior citizen field trip to the ol’ row-die-oh. After much carnival game ass-foolery, and ridin’ and ropin’ the sun sets and the murder biz begins, as the psychotic cow pokes behind the show change gears from lassoing to lacerating. Now it’s up to our […]

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