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DanXIII

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Movie Review: The Elephant Man (1980) – Criterion 4K

The Elephant Man turns what could be a standard biopic about an extraordinary subject, into an artistic emotional gut-punch masterpiece of cinema… but we’re putting the horse before the cart a bit there… For those not familiar, The Elephant Man concerns the life and times of Joseph Merrick (John Hurt, Alien), a man living in the late-Victorian era, stricken with what was believed to be Proteus Syndrome. The illness left him drastically deformed and therefore only able to survive by appearing in various sideshows… a lifestyle that led to shocking emotional and physical abuse. Fortunately Merrick falls under the care of London surgeon Dr. Frederick Treves (Anthony Hopkins, The Silence of the Lambs) who treats him with kindness before inadvertently turning John into the toast of ol’ London Town. But, has John just become a more classed-up sideshow exhibit, displayed to the elite of society instead of for the common man, or has he genuinely found a home and happiness?

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DanXIII
Oct 24, 2026

Movie Review: Born a Ninja (1988)/Commando the Ninja (1988) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Visual Vengeance have collected a duo of ninja films and put them out on Blu-ray, the first of which, Commando the Ninja (1988), was produced and co-created by Godfrey Ho (we are just going to go with the gloriously mentally unstable Cynthia Rothrock martial arts experience, Undefeatable… but he has been associated with…sometimes in a rather bullshit way… bananas cinematic fried gold on any number of other features such as Ninja Terminator)… Anyway, a dude named Tanaka went and developed a form of germ warfare during World War II, and nowadays plenty of folks are hot on his ass to obtain that formula right quick! Vying for possession of said formula are evil businessman Martin who desires the formula to sell at a tidy profit… there’s also a ninja named David involved… as well as Brenda, a woman in a bedazzled all-denim outfit who kicks a rather outrageous amount of ass… for instance she pounds another character in a scene

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 23, 2026

Movie Review: Roy del espacio (1983) – Deaf Crocodile

Long thought lost, Mexican-produced animated feature Roy del espacio (1983) begins as only it… and Flash Gordon… could. Evil space emperor Alome (Rubén Moya) gets a wild hair up his space-ass to put a threat upon the Earth. To counter this, Roy (Salvador Nájar), Dr. Faz (Esteban Siller), and comely psychologist Helena (Rommy Mendoza) launch themselves into the cosmos to battle the threat!     While that synopsis won’t exactly start a blaze based on it’s red-hot originality, Rafael Angel Gil and Hector Lopez Carmona’s Roy del espacio (which the duo co-wrote with Ulises Pérez Aguirre) instead offers a ton of heart… if not technical razzle-dazzle. Boasting an animation style that could best be described as a lil’ bit Sport Billy with a dash of Chargeman Ken and all of the jank and animation-whoopsies those pieces contained (including limited movement, costume inaccuracies, and uses of perspective that’ll have you think you snorted a fistful of premium Moon Dust)… but here

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DanXIII
Oct 22, 2026
Movie Review - Fire and Ice (1983) - Blue Underground 4K

Movie Review – Fire and Ice (1983) – Blue Underground 4K

Animator Ralph Bakshi has never been afraid to dip his toes… or any other body part… into the realms of fantasy (see 1977’s Wizards and 1978’s Tolkein adaptation, Lord of the Rings if your ass doubts me) but his magnum opus of the genre is 1983’s Fire and Ice. Young warrior Larn (William Ostrander, Christine) is caught in a war between the noble King Jarol (Leo Gordon, Alienator) of the volcano kingdom of Firekeep, and Wolf Queen Juliana (Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker, the Angel franchise) and her ice wizard son Nekron (animator Sean Hannon) after his village is destroyed by Nekron’s glaciers (which he appears to summon via orgasm apparently). Soon Larn sets out to rescue Jarol’s daughter Teegra (Maggie Roswell, The Simpsons) who is kidnapped by Nekron’s Neanderthal troops, the Subhumans in order to provide the wizard an heir… at least that’s what Juliana desires, but Nekron apparently runs “cold” when it comes to mating with voluptuous prisoners. As

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 17, 2026
Movie Review: Destination Moon (1950) - Film Masters Blu-ray

Movie Review: Destination Moon (1950) – Film Masters Blu-ray

With their latest rocket experiment ending in flames n’ failure, Dr. Charles Cargraves (Warner Anderson) and his rocket lovin’ bud, General Thayer (Tom Powers) seek some outside cash to achieve their ultimate goal, sending man to the moon! They soon enlist smooth-talkin’ aeronautics tycoon Jim Barnes (John Archer) to convince his equally loaded peers to invest in the project… and he isn’t afraid to enlist a then-popular animated bird to lend a helping wing (more on this below dear readers!) to that end! Before long the project is complete, but the local populace are having a bitch-fest about the radiation they believe the project will surely release… even though the rocket, the Luna, uses steam propulsion… so our heroes decide to launch the rocket early, because fuck the public, that’s why! With Cargraves, Thayer, et. al. (along with wise-assing substitute radio operator Joe Sweeney (Dick Wesson)) acting as crew, the group soon find themselves in space… but after a hard

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 15, 2026
Movie Review: Sweet Meats (2025) - Troma Blu-ray

Movie Review: Sweet Meats (2025) – Troma Blu-ray

Bobby Sweet (Ricky Glore, who also wrote and directed the picture) spends his days slinging burgers and unclogging toilets at the local fast food eatery, but he has high hopes on becoming a musician and enjoying all of the prestige that comes with it. Bobby’s boss Nick (Andrew Gordon) has other ideas for our hero’s future… namely taking over the operations of the business because he can’t leave it to his disappointing offspring. Bobby wants to warble out his tunes, but he agrees and after Nick buys the farm Bobby finds himself in the middle of a scheme by Nick’s daughter Laddie (Eileen Earnest) to increase business by introducing a new ingredient to the restaurant’s offerings. It doesn’t take a genius to suss out what that ingredient truly is, and before you can say “Motel Hell”, that man-centric mystery meat really takes the fast food biz by sinister storm… and Bobby can spend his time working on his craft as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 15, 2026
Movie Review: Blood Bitch Baby (2024) - Bloodsick Productions Blu-ray

Movie Review: Blood Bitch Baby (2024) – Bloodsick Productions Blu-ray

Dig this one; the Blood Countess herself Elizabeth Bathory (Jessa Jupiter Flux, Murdercise, Onlyfangs ) has survived the centuries and settled down in suburbia! Meanwhile, Jenny (Angel Nicole Bradford, Backwoods Blood Feud, The House That Eats Flesh) is having a shitty go of things as of late… she’s trapped in an abusive relationship and she’s completely broke. The solution to at least one of those probs comes in the form of a job offer from Bathory her damn self, and the gig really sucks too, as it involves looking after Liz’s insane sister… who lives in a bathtub, eats raw meat, and snarls all of the damn time. The job lasts roughly one second before Bathory works up an arcane boobs n’ blood style bedroom bedazzlement and marks our heroine with a sigil that gives her a taste for human flesh and additionally, at no extra fee, marks her as the vessel for the offspring of the demon king, Asmodeus!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 15, 2026

More from DanXIII

Movie Review: The Elephant Man (1980) – Criterion 4K

The Elephant Man turns what could be a standard biopic about an extraordinary subject, into an artistic emotional gut-punch masterpiece of cinema… but we’re putting the horse before the cart a bit there… For those not familiar, The Elephant Man concerns the life and times of Joseph Merrick (John Hurt, Alien), a man living in the late-Victorian era, stricken with what was believed to be Proteus Syndrome. The illness left him drastically deformed and therefore only able to survive by appearing in various sideshows… a lifestyle that led to shocking emotional and physical abuse. Fortunately Merrick falls under the care of London surgeon Dr. Frederick Treves (Anthony Hopkins, The Silence of the Lambs) who treats him with kindness before inadvertently turning John into the toast of ol’ London Town. But, has John just become a more classed-up sideshow exhibit, displayed to the elite of society instead of for the common man, or has he genuinely found a home and happiness?

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 24, 2026

Movie Review: Born a Ninja (1988)/Commando the Ninja (1988) – Visual Vengeance Blu-ray

Visual Vengeance have collected a duo of ninja films and put them out on Blu-ray, the first of which, Commando the Ninja (1988), was produced and co-created by Godfrey Ho (we are just going to go with the gloriously mentally unstable Cynthia Rothrock martial arts experience, Undefeatable… but he has been associated with…sometimes in a rather bullshit way… bananas cinematic fried gold on any number of other features such as Ninja Terminator)… Anyway, a dude named Tanaka went and developed a form of germ warfare during World War II, and nowadays plenty of folks are hot on his ass to obtain that formula right quick! Vying for possession of said formula are evil businessman Martin who desires the formula to sell at a tidy profit… there’s also a ninja named David involved… as well as Brenda, a woman in a bedazzled all-denim outfit who kicks a rather outrageous amount of ass… for instance she pounds another character in a scene

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 23, 2026

Movie Review: Roy del espacio (1983) – Deaf Crocodile

Long thought lost, Mexican-produced animated feature Roy del espacio (1983) begins as only it… and Flash Gordon… could. Evil space emperor Alome (Rubén Moya) gets a wild hair up his space-ass to put a threat upon the Earth. To counter this, Roy (Salvador Nájar), Dr. Faz (Esteban Siller), and comely psychologist Helena (Rommy Mendoza) launch themselves into the cosmos to battle the threat!     While that synopsis won’t exactly start a blaze based on it’s red-hot originality, Rafael Angel Gil and Hector Lopez Carmona’s Roy del espacio (which the duo co-wrote with Ulises Pérez Aguirre) instead offers a ton of heart… if not technical razzle-dazzle. Boasting an animation style that could best be described as a lil’ bit Sport Billy with a dash of Chargeman Ken and all of the jank and animation-whoopsies those pieces contained (including limited movement, costume inaccuracies, and uses of perspective that’ll have you think you snorted a fistful of premium Moon Dust)… but here

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 22, 2026
Movie Review - Fire and Ice (1983) - Blue Underground 4K

Movie Review – Fire and Ice (1983) – Blue Underground 4K

Animator Ralph Bakshi has never been afraid to dip his toes… or any other body part… into the realms of fantasy (see 1977’s Wizards and 1978’s Tolkein adaptation, Lord of the Rings if your ass doubts me) but his magnum opus of the genre is 1983’s Fire and Ice. Young warrior Larn (William Ostrander, Christine) is caught in a war between the noble King Jarol (Leo Gordon, Alienator) of the volcano kingdom of Firekeep, and Wolf Queen Juliana (Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker, the Angel franchise) and her ice wizard son Nekron (animator Sean Hannon) after his village is destroyed by Nekron’s glaciers (which he appears to summon via orgasm apparently). Soon Larn sets out to rescue Jarol’s daughter Teegra (Maggie Roswell, The Simpsons) who is kidnapped by Nekron’s Neanderthal troops, the Subhumans in order to provide the wizard an heir… at least that’s what Juliana desires, but Nekron apparently runs “cold” when it comes to mating with voluptuous prisoners. As

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Oct 17, 2026
Movie Review: Destination Moon (1950) - Film Masters Blu-ray

Movie Review: Destination Moon (1950) – Film Masters Blu-ray

With their latest rocket experiment ending in flames n’ failure, Dr. Charles Cargraves (Warner Anderson) and his rocket lovin’ bud, General Thayer (Tom Powers) seek some outside cash to achieve their ultimate goal, sending man to the moon! They soon enlist smooth-talkin’ aeronautics tycoon Jim Barnes (John Archer) to convince his equally loaded peers to invest in the project… and he isn’t afraid to enlist a then-popular animated bird to lend a helping wing (more on this below dear readers!) to that end! Before long the project is complete, but the local populace are having a bitch-fest about the radiation they believe the project will surely release… even though the rocket, the Luna, uses steam propulsion… so our heroes decide to launch the rocket early, because fuck the public, that’s why! With Cargraves, Thayer, et. al. (along with wise-assing substitute radio operator Joe Sweeney (Dick Wesson)) acting as crew, the group soon find themselves in space… but after a hard

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 15, 2026
Movie Review: Sweet Meats (2025) - Troma Blu-ray

Movie Review: Sweet Meats (2025) – Troma Blu-ray

Bobby Sweet (Ricky Glore, who also wrote and directed the picture) spends his days slinging burgers and unclogging toilets at the local fast food eatery, but he has high hopes on becoming a musician and enjoying all of the prestige that comes with it. Bobby’s boss Nick (Andrew Gordon) has other ideas for our hero’s future… namely taking over the operations of the business because he can’t leave it to his disappointing offspring. Bobby wants to warble out his tunes, but he agrees and after Nick buys the farm Bobby finds himself in the middle of a scheme by Nick’s daughter Laddie (Eileen Earnest) to increase business by introducing a new ingredient to the restaurant’s offerings. It doesn’t take a genius to suss out what that ingredient truly is, and before you can say “Motel Hell”, that man-centric mystery meat really takes the fast food biz by sinister storm… and Bobby can spend his time working on his craft as

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 15, 2026
Movie Review: Blood Bitch Baby (2024) - Bloodsick Productions Blu-ray

Movie Review: Blood Bitch Baby (2024) – Bloodsick Productions Blu-ray

Dig this one; the Blood Countess herself Elizabeth Bathory (Jessa Jupiter Flux, Murdercise, Onlyfangs ) has survived the centuries and settled down in suburbia! Meanwhile, Jenny (Angel Nicole Bradford, Backwoods Blood Feud, The House That Eats Flesh) is having a shitty go of things as of late… she’s trapped in an abusive relationship and she’s completely broke. The solution to at least one of those probs comes in the form of a job offer from Bathory her damn self, and the gig really sucks too, as it involves looking after Liz’s insane sister… who lives in a bathtub, eats raw meat, and snarls all of the damn time. The job lasts roughly one second before Bathory works up an arcane boobs n’ blood style bedroom bedazzlement and marks our heroine with a sigil that gives her a taste for human flesh and additionally, at no extra fee, marks her as the vessel for the offspring of the demon king, Asmodeus!

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Aug 15, 2026
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