Movie Review: Snowflake (2017)

December 13, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Gangsters Javid and Tan (Reza Brojerdi and Erkan Acar) are havin’ one fucky day. Seems our “heroes” have found the screenplay to their lives, and decide to seek out and heap abuse upon the documents author; a dentist named Arend (Alexander Schubert) all in the name of figuring out just what in the hell is going on…but he’s about as much use as a fishnet condom. The boys never let this deter their mission; namely finding the sumbitch what put the murder on their families…in a fucked up future version of Berlin populated by singing angels, murderous religious figures, and even more folks out for revenge; namely Eliana (Xenia Assenza) who teams up with a bodyguard with a past named Carson (David Masterson) to avenge the murder of her parents while dealing with cannibals and fucked up robots.

As you can tell by that sinister synopsis up yonder; Snowflake is one hell of a bizarre motion picture! along with the basic surreal (and meta) quality of the narrative, the film is also packed with Tarantino inspired dialog, and a non-linear quality (replete with flash backs and edits to the story) that will definitely have you saying “What in the actual fuck?” on any given number of occasions. Thankfully the acting and cinematography (courtesy of Konstantin Freyerare) are strong as well, because with all of this ass-foolery we need a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ to keep us grounded…well just a hair anyway.

On the flip side; this movie runs a rather lengthy two hours (and one minute), and there are places, especially in the third act, where there could be some cuts to make things flow a bit better…but that is a minor quibble in a film that brings the crazy in such unrelenting amounts.
Directors Adolfo J. Kolmerer and William James along with Screenwriter Arend Remmers have created one of the most ridiculously entertaining flicks to come down the pike in a damn long time; fueled by black humor, snappy dialog, comic book/fairy tale scenarios, and skewed takes on religious iconography; Snowflake is one hell of flick, and well worth settin’ your putrid peepers on as soon as possible!


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