Movie Review: Paintball Massacre (2020)

December 5, 2020

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

A gaggle of ol’ school chums get together for a bit of the reunion n’ paintball combo that sits so well with telephone operators from Biloxi between the ages of 22 and 22.

Long story short, these folks get balls deep into feudin’ and fussin’, but that shit is small potatoes compared to the fact that a masked maniac has joined the (soon to be) ghoulish game, and he’s brought the tools to guarantee that there will be a higher than normal body count (which for paintball usually hovers somewhere between zero and zip) in this contest of champions!

If Paintball Massacre is anything, it’s a damn good joltin’ jaunt into our beloved stalk n’ slay genre!

What makes this one such a great time you may (or admittedly may not) ask?

For starters, it has a great cast that manage to convey both horror at the murder biz befalling them, and a solid sense of comedic timing (yup, this one goes for laughs along with the lacerations), and it actually succeeds in that devilishly delicate balancing act… kudos to screenwriter Chris Regan for keeping that bit o’ business tight n’ outta sight, and to director Darren Berry for keeping the whole thing on track while being both horrific and hilarious!

Adding to the fearsome fun are some top shelf gruesome gore (both of the comedic and more serious persuasions), and some rather choice cinematography (courtesy of  Ola Mesmer).

If you dig on laughs along with your lacerations, then Paintball Massacre  will do ya just fine; it’s a solid throwback to the golden age of slasher pics, but it isn’t afraid to be ridiculous either… a real win/win sitch if ya ask yours cruelly!





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