Blu-ray Review: Toys Are Not For Children (1972)

October 12, 2019

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

I’m not going to candy coat it; Jamie Godard (Marcia Forbes) is all shades of fucked up. She’s a relative simpleton that masturbates on the regular with the stuffed animals her absentee father sends her (even though she’s a grown-ass woman)… and she calls out “Daddy” as she does it!

Soon she finds herself married to her co-worker, though she can’t “consummate” the deal due to them pesky issues mentioned up yonder… and before you can say “oh, fuck no” she finds herself balls deep in the world of prostitution thanks to aging whore Pearl (Evelyn Kingsley) who was a favorite of her horny pops. Needless to say, things go south in more ways than one…

Comprised of unlikable or unsympathetic characters, garish fashions, and not nearly as much titillation as one would expect from  a picture like this; Toys Are Not For Children is not your average exploitation picture. Jamie and her mother (Fran Warren) seem to be in permanent state of PTSD from the sexed up antics of Philip Godard (Peter Lightstone); and nearly every other character is either a pervert, pimp, or hooker… this is a rather dark world (in defiance of the tacky, garish fashions and decor on display), but goddamn if it isn’t a fascinating watch.

Adding to the experience are the performances of Forbes and Kingsley, both go through some rather strong arcs, and are strong actors who bring a lot more chops than one would find in the average 42nd St. sex picture, and a downright powerful climax.

Along with all you see above, Arrow Video have also included quite a few extras to accompany the main event. Included are a look at the career of the film’s director, Stanley H. Brasloff, courtesy of author Stephen Thrower, a video essay linking feminine sexuality and toys from Alexandra Heller-Nicholas, the film’s easy-listenin’ theme song presented in it’s entirety, and yet another informative, highly listenable audio commentary from authors Kat Ellinger and Heather Drain. Additionally this edition features a reversible sleeve featuring psychotronic artwork by The Twins of Evil, as well as a collector’s booklet featuring new writing on the film by journalist Preston Fassel.



If you are in the mood for some pitch black exploitation gold, I urge you to set your sights on Toys Are Not For Children; it’s well acted, surprising, and sleazy… not a bad combo, wouldn’t ya say cats n’ creeps?






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