Movie Review: Thorns for Flowers (2016)

February 10, 2020

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Psychic Leo (Vance Clemente) is hired by the local po-po to help them solve the slight problem they have with a maniac ripping women walking home alone at night new assholes six ways to Sunday. As he tries to determine just who will be next, Leo meets Catherine (Samantha Strelitz) who has been voted “Most Likely to Die Next”, and quickly falls in love with her. This would create obvious problems in and of itself, but their kissy-kissy is really going to be put to the test after the discovery of a preternatural hole in the ground that’ll really test their mettle but good!

Written and directed by Anthony de Lioncourt, Thorns for Flowers is a bit of an all things for everyone affair. You get some drama, some thriller, some occult, a love story… and it’s a period piece (circa the ’70s to be percise) on top of all of that. So does it blend all of these ingredients into a ghoulish ghoul-ash or does it taste like shit. Mostly the former, and a slight dash of the latter boils n’ ghouls.

Let’s start with what really tickles the pickle, shall we? First off, the film looks fantastic (there’s a washed out, rough-hewn aesthetic present here, and I absolutely fuckin’ love it to itty-bitty pieces), and it’s bizarre fever-dream narrative certainly makes for an intriguing watch. Additionally the visual of the killer is damn solid, and the entire affair plays at a nice slow burn pace that ratchets up the tension exponentially as the narrative plays out.

As for negatives, well that involves the narrative as well…

There is a twist in Thorns for Flowers that comes so far out of left field that it doesn’t offer nay sort of satisfying conclusion for the viewer. Now, with a off-kilter story like this, it can be somewhat excused, but if you love things to actually make perfect sense when you watch a fright flick, I dare say you’ll be  a tad pissed.

Bottom line, Thorns for Flowers is a stylish thriller, with plenty of new things to offer fans of the genre, I just wish it could have completely stuck the landing.




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