DVD Review: Amityville Island (2020)

March 9, 2020

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

A woman (Jamie Morgan) brings home a box of cursed items she picked up in front of that infamous residence down Long Island way, promptly gets possessed, and offs her entire family, DeFeo style.

Flash forward, and our heroine is incarcerated and forced to participate in a felonious fight club with a fellow inmate (Danielle Donahue) which goes over like fart in a submarine, and the duo are shipped off to a private island containing bears, sharks, and mutant zombies, as they so often do, right cats n’ creeps?

Anyhow, on said island, a small team of scientists are conducting all manner of eerie experiments and at the center of it all is our friendly neighborhood Psycho Mom, who’s inner demon can leap out and posses the local fauna (including a shark ‘natch) and populace… so you know things are going to go to hell (for some it could be literally) as science and the supernatural clash on the island of the damned… shit, that sounds pretty damn good… hey distro companies; I’m available for ad copy!

I have to preface what comes next with the following; this is a Mark Polonia production… and as the true horror hounds among you will surely recognize, Amityville Island is as high concept as it is low-budget, and therein lies the charm… like the entirety of Mark’s extensive oeuvre.

In this flick we get elements of the women in prison, nature run amok, and possession genres all mixed up and spat back out as a heady concoction that is as delicious as it is bad for you… you know, like a bowl of gas station chili; and as long-time readers of this column will realize… this is just what yours cruelly craves like a slathering beast!

In this picture we get horrendous cg, basements standing in for prisons and labs, stock footage mixed with questionable props simulating animal attacks, cruddy masks, and some solid acting (Polonia mainstay Jeff Kirkendall in particular turns in a game performance)… all of which adds up to a fright flick that aims to please no matter how ill-equipped it is to succeed… so in other words, right on to these freaks n’ fiends for bringing us something infinitely watchable no matter how much the seams show… and boy do they… but c’mon; a shark gets possessed, there is no part of that, or anything I mentioned above, that 13 year old you wouldn’t think is rad as all fuck!

Along with the main event, there are a couple of extras on this DVD release from our preternatural pals at Wild Eye Releasing including an audio commentary from the ever-personable Mark Polonia that takes us through the film’s production, as well as an image gallery, and a host of trailers from other Wild Eye releases.

If you are in the mood for the type of outrageous entertainment that only the deepest reaches of the horror biz basement can give ya, give Amityville Island a wicked whirl; it’s fun, funky, and a complete blast!





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