Movie Review: Celebrity Crush (2019)

May 30, 2020

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Man, ol’ John Blakely (Oliver Robins of Poltergeist fame… who incidentally directed and wrote this here bad bitch) has it tough as he has to live life being well-known for starring in a stalk n’ slay flick, Chain Face Clown by name, as a terror tyke, being asked to sign things like blu-rays and such, and using his fame to try and use his celeb status to get hot n’ horny with the dames.

Well, that last one kinda backfires when Johnny B. does the sexual fuckings with Emily (Alissa Schneider) who turns out to be his greatest fan… and by “greatest” I mean “murderously obsessive“. This equals some really fuckin’ bad news for anyone that attempts to get in the way of the imaginary thing she and J-Dawg have percolatin’, and will make it a tad dicey for our hero to (attempt) escape from the clutches of this lascivious lunatic!

The monstrous meat and putrid potatoes of Celebrity Crush is the interaction between Robins and Schneider, and that is an area this fright flick excels in! The banter between the leads is solid and entertaining, not to mention believable, thanks to Robins’ life mirroring his protagonist’s in some respects… and it has to be said that the fate of his Poltergeist co-star Dominique Dunne, who died at the hands of an obsessed ex-boyfriend, had to be at least hovering around his mind’s eye when creating this film (though this picture does nothing to exploit that to it’s credit).

Also of note is the quick and effective pace of this one. Robins keeps things rocketing along, and it takes very little time for the suspense to ratchet up, and the good ol’ horror biz to begin in earnest. In the interest of fairness, as much as I dug on that aesthetic, some of you may be a bit perturbed that the “gettin’ to really know ya” character stuff is left a bit high and dry.

Bottom line: Celebrity Crush is a cool ride through the familiar “insane stalker” genre… it’s fun, comes from an authentic place, and is incredibly well-acted. I’m definitely goin’ to recommend you cats n’ creeps slap your putrid peepers on this as it’s now available on VOD!




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