Movie Review: Scarred (2016)

June 27, 2020

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Lets cut right to the chase, and lay down the plot for ol’ Scarred in a nasty nutshell; masked lunatic Jonah has a wild hair up his arcane ass about killing the beautiful people… so naturally a gaggle of photogenic victims arrive on the scene to help ol’ Joltin J fill his kill card with the quickness!

So right off the bat you just know what you’re in for with this fright flick; namely boobs and bloodshed… and indeed Scarred delivers on that front with ghoulish gusto… unfortunately the folks these sinister shenanigans happen to aren’t the most interesting or endearing protagonists out there in stalk n’ slay land, but they look good and do what’s required of them; namely be scared shitless and scream a lot (and that’s my way of saying the actors do their best with the material given).

Who is interesting however is Jonah, our masked maniac of the hour; who comes complete with a tragic past for motivation and a mask made of dried human skin. Is he the next Jason? No, but he’s cool enough to get the job done.

Speaking of Jason, everyone’s favorite mutant child from Crystal Lake, Ari Lehman shows up in a cameo, so if you dig on Friday the 13th or the band First Jason (which Ari fronts) then you may have extra motivation to slap your putrid peepers on this one.

Also in the plus column are the film’s kills and practical effects… both of which are nicely handled and offer some bloody kibble for horror hounds to chew on, the film’s brisk pace, and Molly miller’s supporting role as Tiny; the one person that can get ol’ Jonah to not act like a raving lunatic for a hot fuckin’ second.

Bottom line; Scarred isn’t the best or most original slasher flick on the block, and that’s fine because it at least delivers what it does with heart and earnestness, and that goes far with your’s cruelly.




You can watch Scarred now, free on Tubi TV!

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