Movie Review: Useless Humans (2020)

July 6, 2020

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

You know what can fuck up a birthday party six ways to Sunday? If you said “aliens” you are both fuckin’ insane, and just the right kind of audience for the flick covered in today’s review; Useless Humans!

As I mentioned above; it’s birthday time for our hapless hero Brian (Josh Zuckerman), and his bestest pals are throwing him a bash to celebrate turnin’ the big three oh! Drinkin’ and generally ass-foolery ensue until an alien antagonist crashes the shin-dig… and this creepy creature has one mood; completely pissed-off!

Now instead of flip-cup and bong rips, it’s going to be a night of saving the fuckin’ world from a threat beyond the stars!

Useless Humans has a lot going for it boils n’ ghouls! First of all, the ensemble cast assembled for this silly sci-fi fracas is top-notch; they’re funny, engaging, and they get you to care about their plight… which is good considering the craziness of their sitch!

Speaking of said situation; the concept of an alien ending up at a party is solid horror comedy gold, and the script courtesy of George Caine, Stephen Ohl (who also directed the picture), Kevin Hamedani, and Travis Betz keeps things funny, fucked-up, and fast movin’… the perfect horrible hat trick in my not so humble opinion.

Another huge plus is the alien creature featured in this flick; it’s a full-on practical, man-in-suit affair and it manages to turn the normally ethereal grey alien concept into true nightmare fuel; so huge putrid props there!

Additionally the score courtesy of composer Matthew James features plenty of theremin cues that bring to mind the alien invasion drive-in cinema of the fearsome fifties.

So there ya have it cats n’ creeps; Useless Humans is an out-of-this-world creature feature, alien invasion, birthday party picture… and you need to park your ass in front of it pronto, ya dig?!!



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