Movie Review: Crust (2024) – Anchor Bay Blu-ray

January 25, 2025

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Former child star Vegas Winters (The People Under the Stairs‘ Sean Whalen, who co-wrote and directed the film as well), is having a rough patch. His girlfriend (at least she was at one point), Andrea (Felissa Rose, the legendary Sleepaway Camp) gives him endless static, the rundown laundry mat he owns is a haven for oddballs, and he was filmed jerking off by some punk-ass chumps.

When he isn’t engaged in whacking it, he spends his days blowing his nose on the pile of mismatched socks he keeps in the back (amongst depositing other bodily fluids), and hanging around with his best pal, big-hearted town drunk Russ (another fantastic turn from Rob Zombie regular Daniel Roebuck).

Fortunately not everything is misery and spanked monkeys for our hero, as he begins an invigorating new relationship with kind laundry mat patron/aspiring actress Nila (Rebekah Kennedy (Two Witches) in a quirky, layered performance that’s fun to watch)… and the fluid-soaked wad of socks comes to life, this being the eponymous Crust, and begins murdering anyone that’s done Vegas wrong!

Will Vegas be able to keep the flame burning in his romantic endeavors while keeping his cuddly murder machine under wraps?!

Filmed (mostly) in stark black and white, Crust is like the descendent of Roger Corman’s The Little Shop of Horrors both tonally and visually.

Since both pictures feature skid row denizens, a man-eating creature, and off-beat humor it’s an easy comparison to make… but Crust also displays a ton of heart and poignant musings on the downside of celebrity… which is a surprise in a sock-centric creature feature.

As presented by Whalen and co-writer Jim Wald, Crust is a delightfully schizophrenic affair; sometimes it’s a monster movie, sometimes it’s a rather stark view of the entertainment industry (and media in general in the form of both social media and Robocop-style over-the-top entertainment news segments that offer a snarky Greek chorus to the action at hand… though foot would be more accurate), and sometimes it’s a surreal comedy.

But as scattered as that may seem, the whole affair is never anything but entertaining, sincere, and batshit crazy… and it’s all brought to beautifully bizarre life by a performance from Whalen who gives an incredible performance which elicits audience empathy while going to some dark places.

And while we are mentioning acting, look for cameos from Ricky Dean Logan (Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare) as an absolutely fucking ridiculous (in the best possible way) underworld figure, and Alan Ruck (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off) as a Hollywood producer with an out of this world wig that tries to upstage him at every turn.

Additionally there is a solid running gag where various objects have generic labels… it was “laptop” that got me… but hey, your mileage may vary.

Accompanying the above are a selection of extras which include an audio commentary from Whalen (with a Q&A sesh from the same), and two absolutely fucking bonkers short films (one from The FP‘s Jason Trost, the other from Roebuck) featuring Whalen (who also wrote shorts, the second along with Roebuck) as a fifty year old Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz that have to be seen to be believed. I loved them and honestly I was light headed from laughter after watching them.

If you’re going to see one sock-monster movie this year let it be Crust; it’s a surprising, demented (yet often sweet), psychotronic gem!

 

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