As so many of my reviews don’t begin, let’s travel back to the ancient days of the Roman Empire!
Caligula (Malcom McDowell, A Clockwork Orange) is busy fucking around (literally) with his sister Drusilla (Teresa Ann Savoy, Salon Kitty… which just so happened to be directed by Caligula‘s director, Tinto Brass) when a blackbird blasts into the room, which our protagonist considers an omen of ill will.
Well, he isn’t completely wrong as soon the captain of the Praetorian Guard, Macro (Guido Mannari) informs Caligula he is summoned to the island of Capri by his great-uncle, Emperor Tiberius (Peter O’ Toole, Lawrence of Arabia, in a chilling performance)… which probably means his ass is toast.
Anyway, off to Capri he goes, and once there Caligula finds his uncle mad and succumbing to the ravages of advanced venereal disease (and after seeing the outrageous, deformity and beast-laden orgies the old man throws, his condition comes as little surprise)… and the whole sojourn ends with Tiberius’ death (at the hands of Macro in a show of loyalty to Caligula) and Rome having a new emperor.
And what an emperor he is; raping man and woman alike on their wedding night, decapitating prisoners with a great moving wall of weaponry, and of course that incest train just a keeps on a runnin’… but the people seem to dig him, so ‘Huzzah’ I guess…
Of course Caligula’s own madness festers and grows, and before long the Senate grows weary of his antics… cue more blackbirds…
Chances are if you’re reading this you are already familiar with the nonsense surrounding the release of Caligula back in the far flung year of 1980 when producer/Penthouse mag head honcho Bob Guccione who took the film out of director Brass’ hands, released a re-structured version of the narrative with various hardcore sex scenes jammed into it to spice up the proceedings (though the original material was absolutely packed with simulated debauchery and a staggering amount of nudity).
That above version is the one I am familiar with, but it is not what we are talking about today (I mean we are, but… ).
Under the supervision of film historian Thomas Negovan, Caligula: The Ultimate Cut is a new edit of the picture, culled from the absolutely ludicrous amount of footage Brass shot back in 1976, and comprised entirely of takes not included in previous releases.
What this results in is an expanded story that actually flows together and makes a bit more sense than the sweaty fever-dream we’ve enjoyed previously.
That’s not to say Caligula is any less of a surreal experience in this iteration… we still have absolute acting legends (besides the aforementioned McDowell and O’Toole look for turns from renowned Shakespearean thespian Sir John Gielgud and the incredible Helen Mirren (Excalibur) as Caligula’s wife Caesonia, the wanton High Priestess of the Goddess Isis) frolicking about on stages loaded with giant decorative phalluses and a veritable coliseum of cocks n’ bush.
The supporting cast is ready and willing to bring the goods as well, especially in the case of John Steiner (Mannaja, Shock, Yor: The Hunter From the Future) as Caligula’s advisor Longinus who’s serpentine demeanor, bald head, and a bevy of outfits that wouldn’t look out of place on the set of Dino De Laurentiis’ Flash Gordon make him stand out among the mayhem and mammaries at hand… and that’s saying something!
The entire production could easily be compared to the aforementioned Flash Gordon, as both films feature the talents of costume designer/production designer Danilo Donati, who brings with him absolutely ornate and opulent sets (most of the film is shot on sound stages which only adds to the off-kilter vibe while also giving the production an air of being a theater production… which given the cast assembled and monologues delivered makes perfect sense) that are a feast for the eyes.
But your eyes won’t be the only thing tickled here (I’m referring to your ears not your pickle) as this release features a brand-new score from composer Troy Sterling Nies (replacing the original score provided by frequent Jess Franco colleague Bruno Nicolai) that provides plenty of epic ambiance.
Adding to the orgy of entertainment that is the feature presentation are two audio commentaries; one featuring Negovan and editor Aaron Shaps, and the other provided by author Grant Morrison (with a returning Negovan) that provide the listener with a wealth of information detailing what it took to restore Caligula for the Ultimate Cut, as well as a teaser for the version’s premier at Cannes.
Also included is the 1980 theatrical cut of the film (which while re-mastered doesn’t match the eye-popping color and clarity of the Ultimate Cut) along with a piece showcasing Guccione’s more explicit footage, and Caligula’s original theatrical trailer.
Excessive, orgiastic (in many, many ways), and completely impossible to take your eyes off of; Caligula: The Ultimate Cut is a bold cinematic offering that crams the arthouse directly into the grindhouse in a lavish, spectacularly demented way never seen before or since!
