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Blu-ray Review: Audition (1999)

Audition is a classic fright flick that catapulted the absolutely insane mother fucker that is Takashi Miike in to the hearts of gonzo cinema lovers worldwide (though he was already el hombre in his home turf of Japan thanks to some rather bloody fare such as Fudoh: The New Generation) and most of you gore hounds have certainly laid your eerie eyeballs on it at some point since it’s release 20 fuckin’ years ago (holy shit…). Anyway, if you haven’t here’s a brief sinister synopsis before I get into why this new Blu-ray edition comin’ your way from Arrow Video and their beastly bedfellows MVD Entertainment is worth your hard earned dough… Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi), a middle-aged widower, is catching static from his 17-year-old son, Shigehiko (Tetsu Sawaki) to get back on the dating bicycle and join the Tour De Trim (so to speak). At the urging of a pal, Aoyama begins hiding auditions for a new wife, and

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DanXIII

Jan 26, 2019

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Dead Love (2018)

Brandon (Grayson Low) is a classic ‘momma’s boy’ sans said momma, ‘cuz her ass is defunct thanks to a suicide. This sends his world into a desperate tailspin, because everything he has found comforting in life has been suddenly, violently, taken away…hell, he can’t even afford a decent funeral for the lady. Enter Fiona (Nicole Elizabeth Olson), who becomes enamored with our hero upon hearing his hard luck case…and wouldn’t you know it, her sister Caterina (Kate Linder), and her husband Lassiter (Bob Buckley) run a funeral pallor! Everyone seems overjoyed that Brandon has arrived in the scene, and are more than ready to accept him as the chosen one to receive the knowledge of their dark secret…but just what is that secret, and how will it effect our hero? Dead Love is a stylishly shot film, for sure, and Brandon’s near catatonic state as a result of the loss of his beloved mother is believable (at least at first)…but

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DanXIII

Aug 28, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Short Film Review: Mystery Box (2018)

Moa (Lisa Henni) is trying her damnedest to grab a lil’ R&R in a cabin on a remote island…but that goes south six ways to Sunday when she finds a strange metal box while fishing. That night, the box keeps appearing on her front porch no matter where she moves it too, followed by a litany of strange noises. Before you can say “Pandora” our protagonist opens that cursed container (after barfin’ up a key ‘natch) and what she finds…well, you’ll have to see the flick yourself for that one my creeps! Directed and co-written (along with David Liljeblad) by Sonny Laguna, who can be one of my favorite people ever thanks to bringing us the excellent Puppet Master The Littlest Reich or one of my most reviled since he made the execrable Animalistic. Well, I’m pleased as poisoned punch to say he knocked Mystery Box out of the park (thank Dagon, because no matter what I feel about the

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DanXIII

Aug 27, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Tooth Fairy (2018)

As family and friends gather on a failing rural farm, we learn that years previous they managed to capture an evil witch (the Tooth Fairy…I don’t even fucking know), and imprison her in the barn by way of sugar and dangling candy canes (sounds ridiculous, and it is…but you lot all know I dig on the absurd, so well played movie…well played). Well that seemingly fool proof prison is thwarted when a drifter simply opens the door and frees the wicked bitch of the west (after she chisels some of his teeth out of course). This results in her stalking and granting dark wishes (in exchange for teeth ‘natch) to the sad sack family…now, can they dispatch her once more and get on with their dreary lives? First the positives to be had with the Tooth Fairy. For starters, the dreary setting (always overcast and completely remote) is full atmosphere and a suitable aesthetic choice for the tale of a

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DanXIII

Jul 21, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Beyond the Grave (Porto dos Mortos – 2010)

In a post apocalyptic landscape a lone black clad lawman (Rafael Tombini) wanders in search of vengeance against an outre adversary; a demonically possessed serial killer (inspired in no small way by Stephen King’s great creation Randall Flagg). Along his journey our hero takes up with two teenage castaways who tag along on his dark mission, fights monsters and magic, and attempts to retain some semblance of his humanity as he stares further into the abyss of both his quest and the world he inhabits. Highly reminiscent of the D.Y.I., punk rock aesthetic of early ’90’s genre film trailblazers such as Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino, Beyond the Grave presents a story that takes well established tropes and puts a slight spin on them, along with a kinetic energy that ends up being a bit like Mad Max meets Phantasm…a world of grim policemen in muscle cars fighting zombies and magic in dilapidated industrial districts and sprawling bucolic landscapes. Speaking

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DanXIII

Jun 12, 2018

ForeignIndieMovies

Movie Review: Night of the Virgin (2016)

Uber-nerd Nico (Javier Bódalo…in an impressively cartoonish performance) is dead set on losing his virginity on New Year’s Eve…and it seems like that is precisely what will happen when he encounters Medea (Miriam Martín) a Super Coug on the prowl who invites him home to her ultra filthy, bug infested apartment (but hey, any port in a storm, amirite?). Once there he engages in awkward dancing, gets a lesson in the history of the Nepalese Goddess Naoshi, and finds a cup of period blood in the bathroom…which he tastes (all as one does). Before long, Madea’s recently estranged boyfriend, Spider (Víctor Amilibia) arrives at her door demanding entrance after being whipped into a frenzy by some fake fuckery…and there he remains as blood mixes with semen (don’t ask…but there is underwear involved) and we discover that a child must be born to Naoshi via Madea or all life will end…but that may be a bit complicated as she is starting

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DanXIII

Jun 4, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Day of the Purple Sun (2018)

A woman with brain cancer (Margarethe von Stern…who also co-wrote the feature) enters a surreal version of the Egyptian underworld (this time comprised of bucolic fields, swamps, and gaudy rooms and industrial settings). She soon becomes obsessed with the mummification of deceased animals (at times overseen by a frog…could this be a manifestation of the fertility goddess Heqet? Not a stretch when you hear what happens to our terminal heroine next…) before being mummified herself by the god Anubis (this time represented by a man, naked from the waste down and adorned with a fetishistic mask that roughly resembles a canine countenance). Before long our protagonist encounters multiple versions of herself (or so they seem) as she attempts to reconcile her mortality and sense of self. The Day of the Purple Sun is more of an “experience” than a traditional motion picture. The film is comprised of aesthetics more than a standard narrative, and the end result challenges the viewer

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DanXIII

May 23, 2018

ForeignIndieMovies

Movie Review: Goran (2016)

Pity poor Goran (Franjo Dijak); all he wants to do is drink (a lot), drive his cab in the tiny isolated snow bound Croatian village he calls home, and hang out in a cabin with his BFF (Goran Bogdan) gettin’ his soak on…but unfortunately, his non-stop nag of a blind wife, Lina (Natasa Janjic) makes that increasingly difficult. Things carry on as usual until Lina announces she is pregnant, which goes over like a fart in a submarine for our hero, as he believes the child may not actually be his, but rather his sauna sittin’ pal mentioned previous. Well push comes to shove (literally) with disastrous results, and after a chemically enhanced Birthday party things get completely out of hand (read: incredibly violent and oh so very, very wrong)! Goran plays out like a relationship/family drama for nearly forty out of it’s eighty two minutes of run time (with credits), but then things go so incredibly south so incredibly

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DanXIII

May 4, 2018

ForeignIndie

Sinister Shorts: Girls Night 2, Blind Ben Says, and Jingle!

Hey creeps, let’s focus our eerie eyeballs on a few new sinister shorts comin’ our way! Girls Night 2 Writer/Director David Teixeira returns with the sequel to his original short (this is all assumption…I have no idea if there actually is a Girls Night Part Uno, and I’m far too busy microwaving pizza rolls to check Google)! Anyway, the long and the short of Girls Night 2 is as follows: Jess (Marina de Sousa) hangs out with her pal Pierre (Vincent Conty) spending a night screening films and having terrible nightmares about being accosted by a sinister slasher from her past. Before long the paradigm is flipped and the maniac appears in the really real world bringing with it secrets and murder! Having not seen the first part of the story, Girls Night 2 is easy enough to follow with it’s standard stalk n’ slay scenario. Where the short shines is in it’s fever dream, giallo-esque qualities, where strange dreams

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DanXIII

Apr 6, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesTrue CrimeTrue Story

Movie Review: Cruel Summer is a Vacation I Never Hope to Take Again.

This is probably going to be one of the shorter reviews I have ever written…mainly because I think if I spend any more time time thinking about Cruel Summer I may get sick. Cruel Summer tells the charming (and supposedly true) tale of a young autistic man named Danny (Richard Pawulski) from the inner-city that gets a chance to go to the country thanks to a Governmental program. While there he encounters a real psycho of a human being who plans Danny’s demise after his equally atrocious girlfriend concocts a lie about the youth. You can guess the rest. Let’s see if I can put a positive on some of this…I guess if you want to see a film that fully displays the cruelty and unfairness that life can throw at someone then Cruel Summer is the picture for you. There is no epic revenge, no hope, barely any retribution…it’s just one unfortunate soul encountering a force that is out

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DanXIII

Feb 22, 2018

foreign

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