Horror Fuel
☰ Browse the Crypt
Tag

#review

878 stories
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Necropolis: Legion (2019)

In the mid-eighties Charles Band’s legendary Empire Pictures released a lil’ ditty on us horror hounds called Necropolis. The fright flick layed down the tale of a 17th century Satanic witch named Eva (LeeAnne Baker) who had a life line a mile-fuckin’-long as she is reborn as a “modern day” cycle-slut punk rock wonder who drained victims of their life force and quested for a Thing ring that would let her do her thing! Flash forward to today, and Band’s Full Moon Pictures is releasing a re-imagining of the flick courtesy of co-writer (along with Brockton McKinney)/director Chris Alexander. Let’s begin our review 0f Necropolis: Legion, shall we boils n’ ghouls? In the 17th century, evil vampire witch Eva (Ali Chappell) spends her nights using her breast mouths to suck the essence of comely sacrificial victims, as we all have at one time or another. This bit of tomfoolery cheeses of her hubby, Maynard Gandy (Joseph Lopez who is a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Pickaxe (2019)

As you cats n’ creeps well know; I love me some sex and violence… and since Pickaxe throws that at us in the first couple of minutes it has yours cruelly’s attention from the get-go! Anyway, it’s the late ’80s, and Adrienne (legendary scream queen Tiffany Shepis) has just been set-free from the loony bin; where she found herself after seeing her friends murdered by Satanic sicko Alex Black… whom she ultimately defeated with the help of Deputy Mathews (Phantasm‘s A. Michael Baldwin). Anyhow, she’s now a drunk, he’s now a Sheriff looking for a missing couple, and soon the woods are filled with more victi… err, I mean teenagers like Jamie (Elizabeth Redpath), Heather (Ashley-Marie Zgabay), and various dopey dudes, a stoner, a nerd, and a slut… all on their way to a rock concert in then middle of nowhere, where they are menaced by the resurrected form of ol’ Arcane Alex. Boobs and blood are splashed across the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Anyone Home? (2018)

Camila (Monique Gabriela Curnen) is a single parent to Jamie (Luke Ganalon), and she’s in one hell of a bad way… the pair have lived in a motel, and Camila has some mental health baggage that’s for sure. Everything begins coming up Cammy though, and she lands a gig as a live-in housekeeper for a swank-ass model home (surrounded by desert) that must be kept clean and decorated at all times so prospective buyers can be enticed to separate themselves from their dough and move into the as-yet unpopulated development. Speaking of “decorating” and “unpopulated”; the isolation and pressure to keep the place lookin’ fancy begin playing on her already wonky brain, and before long Big C begins going shit-house! Full of surreal fever-dream images, black humor, and slick as balls cinematography, Anyone Home? has a lot going for it. It definitely has that Shining vibe to it with the secluded locale, deranged nature of it’s main character, and a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 24, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

Gwendoline (Tawny Kitaen) ships herself to China in a wooden box, and is immediately kidnapped upon her arrival to the Far East. Thankfully for her, rough and tumble sailin’ man Willard (Brent Huff) comes to her rescue and takes up the task of helping our heroine locate the butterfly her butterfly (that’s a lot of “butterfly” in one sentence… oh, shit… ) collector father went missing in the mythic land of the Yik Yak trying to find… for a fee of course. Along the way our erstwhile heroes must contend with river pirates, cannibals, poisonous clouds, and a tribe of Amazons that live in a hi-tech mine deep below the Earth… a serious ordeal all for a simple butterfly! Want to know something that exemplifies the surreal nature of The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak? The film has an easy-listenin’ synth score (totally inappropriate given it’s early 1930’s setting) that plays no matter the sitch…

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Boys Next Door (1985)

Psychopath-in-training Roy (Maxwell Caulfield) and his naive buddy Bo (Charlie Sheen) are recently graduated high school outcasts (they were the white trash in an institution populated by the rich). Not really keen on becoming factory workers just yet, the boys take an impromptu vacay down L.A. way. So what do two young boys do for fun? Why cause grave bodily harm to a gas station attendant, old lady, and some bodacious babes in barely there bikinis of course, as one does. But all of that is just the precursor to a night of extreme violence and dark, dark times. Hilarity does not fuckin’ ensue. Holy hell, how have I never slapped my putrid peepers on this flick before?!! Full of nihilism, violence, and explosive teenage rage The Boys Next Door is a downright mother fuckin’ masterpiece! Why does it work so well? Let me tell ya… seriously, I kinda have to, it’s my job here… anyway, let me tell ya,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Hitchhike to Hell (1983)

Mild-mannered dry-cleaning delivery man Howard (Robert Gribbin) lives with his mother, enjoys putting together model kits and drinking root beer… and has a propensity for raping (the female ones anyway) and killing hitchhikers that have runaway from home and hate their mommies… an admittedly niche demographic, but Howard is rather successful in his murder biz all the same. Why does Homicidal Howie commit these awful acts? Simple, his sister ran away from home and caused his mother static… seems solid enough to me! Anyway, who will attempt to stop this nightmare before the bodies pile-up further? Why none other than Russell Johnson (you know, The Professor from Gilligan’s Island) as small-town Police Captain J.W. Shaw. Will Howard escape justice or will his reign of terror continue on? Everything from the over-the-top acting of leading man Gribbin, to the ridiculously dramatic musical score (courtesy of Perry Daniels), to the cheesy dialog, swirls and bubbles in a witch’s cauldron to create pure

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Fan (1981)

Douglas (Michael fuckin’ Biehn baby), a record salesman by trade, has a side gig absolutely obsessing over actress Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall). Nothing wrong with a lil’ celebrity crush right? Well, not in this case because ol’ Doug is crazy as a shithouse rat, and when his letters begin to be rebuked by Sally’s secretary Belle (Maureen Stapleton) he gets even more crazed… like slashin’ and/or putting the murder biz on those closest to her while she rehearses one of the cheesiest musicals ever created. Soon, our heroine spends every waking moment fearing for her life as the body count around her continues to rise… will she be able to survive her ordeal and bring horrendous theater to the masses? Let’s kick out the jams with some positivity for The Fan. Adapted by Priscilla Chapman and John Hartwell from the novel by the same name from author Bob Randall, this film delivers some solid suspense and sprinkles some truly “what

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 22, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Flowers in the Attic (1987)

After the death of the family patriarch, teens Chris (Jeb Stuart Adams) and Cathy (Kristy Swanson), along with their twin siblings Cory (Ben Ryan Ganger) and Carrie (Lindsay Parker) are shuffled off to their elderly (and totally loaded) grandparents by their mother Corrine (Victoria Tennant). Once there, Corrine’s mega-bitch of a Bible-thumpin’ mother Olivia (Louise Fletcher) demands the children be kept in a locked room so that her husband never know of their existence. Why is she so riled up? Well it seems that Corrine’s husband was her uncle, and those kiddos are straight up the byproduct of that ol’ family fav; incest! As Corrine suffers her mother’s punishments in order to fall back into the family good graces and inherit some serious coin; the kids explore the one place the have access to from their pseudo-prison; the attic… which they turn into a sanctuary of sorts. As the time passes, our young heroes see less and less of Mommy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Housewife (2019)

Hey there cats n’ creeps, remember when yours cruelly served you up some revoltin’ reviews featurin’ the sinister shorts created by talented filmmaker Creepy Chloe Carroll? Probably not since you lot have a heavy thoughts on your monstrous minds like “Huh?” and “Duh… “, but fear not, because I got the loathsome link right here for ya, so you can catch up… Anyway, Chloe is back with her latest bite size chunk of the horror biz titled The Housewife, so let me give it my standard substandard treatment and give you my thoughts on the matter! A picture-perfect housewife (Yana Mulder)… like think something on the Donna Reed tip, ya dig? Anyway, that wife is whippin’ up some din-din and catching static from her daughter Kate (Aaralyn Anderson) and her hubby (Mike Sutton) as to when that meal will be ready to consume! Eventually young Kate wanders upstairs and finds a strange box which she presents to her mother. Let’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 19, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Road Games (1981)

It seems rando comely hitchhikin’ babes are finding themselves all murdered-up down Australia way. Travelling those same roads is wise-ass quip machine Pat Quid (Stacy Keach); a trucker who runs his mouth to his own captive audience; his pet dingo Boswell. On his journey, our hero meets all manner of wacky folks on the road… but none are stranger than the dude in the green van (Grant Page) that keeps turning up and acting more and more like the culprit of the horror biz listed previous. Before long, Quid picks up a hitchhiker named Pamela (Jamie Lee Curtis), and together the duo attempt to solve the mystery at hand… but Pam soon runs afoul of that vicious van and it’s up to quirky Quid to try and save the day! A bizarre mix of Hitchcockian suspense, trucker picture, and hallucinogenic mind-fuck, Road Games is as weird as it sounds, and it’s damn entertaining to boot! The film also comes in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 16, 2019

More from #review

Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Necropolis: Legion (2019)

In the mid-eighties Charles Band’s legendary Empire Pictures released a lil’ ditty on us horror hounds called Necropolis. The fright flick layed down the tale of a 17th century Satanic witch named Eva (LeeAnne Baker) who had a life line a mile-fuckin’-long as she is reborn as a “modern day” cycle-slut punk rock wonder who drained victims of their life force and quested for a Thing ring that would let her do her thing! Flash forward to today, and Band’s Full Moon Pictures is releasing a re-imagining of the flick courtesy of co-writer (along with Brockton McKinney)/director Chris Alexander. Let’s begin our review 0f Necropolis: Legion, shall we boils n’ ghouls? In the 17th century, evil vampire witch Eva (Ali Chappell) spends her nights using her breast mouths to suck the essence of comely sacrificial victims, as we all have at one time or another. This bit of tomfoolery cheeses of her hubby, Maynard Gandy (Joseph Lopez who is a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 29, 2019
Horror Fuel

DVD Review: Pickaxe (2019)

As you cats n’ creeps well know; I love me some sex and violence… and since Pickaxe throws that at us in the first couple of minutes it has yours cruelly’s attention from the get-go! Anyway, it’s the late ’80s, and Adrienne (legendary scream queen Tiffany Shepis) has just been set-free from the loony bin; where she found herself after seeing her friends murdered by Satanic sicko Alex Black… whom she ultimately defeated with the help of Deputy Mathews (Phantasm‘s A. Michael Baldwin). Anyhow, she’s now a drunk, he’s now a Sheriff looking for a missing couple, and soon the woods are filled with more victi… err, I mean teenagers like Jamie (Elizabeth Redpath), Heather (Ashley-Marie Zgabay), and various dopey dudes, a stoner, a nerd, and a slut… all on their way to a rock concert in then middle of nowhere, where they are menaced by the resurrected form of ol’ Arcane Alex. Boobs and blood are splashed across the

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 28, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Anyone Home? (2018)

Camila (Monique Gabriela Curnen) is a single parent to Jamie (Luke Ganalon), and she’s in one hell of a bad way… the pair have lived in a motel, and Camila has some mental health baggage that’s for sure. Everything begins coming up Cammy though, and she lands a gig as a live-in housekeeper for a swank-ass model home (surrounded by desert) that must be kept clean and decorated at all times so prospective buyers can be enticed to separate themselves from their dough and move into the as-yet unpopulated development. Speaking of “decorating” and “unpopulated”; the isolation and pressure to keep the place lookin’ fancy begin playing on her already wonky brain, and before long Big C begins going shit-house! Full of surreal fever-dream images, black humor, and slick as balls cinematography, Anyone Home? has a lot going for it. It definitely has that Shining vibe to it with the secluded locale, deranged nature of it’s main character, and a

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 24, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak (1984)

Gwendoline (Tawny Kitaen) ships herself to China in a wooden box, and is immediately kidnapped upon her arrival to the Far East. Thankfully for her, rough and tumble sailin’ man Willard (Brent Huff) comes to her rescue and takes up the task of helping our heroine locate the butterfly her butterfly (that’s a lot of “butterfly” in one sentence… oh, shit… ) collector father went missing in the mythic land of the Yik Yak trying to find… for a fee of course. Along the way our erstwhile heroes must contend with river pirates, cannibals, poisonous clouds, and a tribe of Amazons that live in a hi-tech mine deep below the Earth… a serious ordeal all for a simple butterfly! Want to know something that exemplifies the surreal nature of The Perils of Gwendoline in the Land of the Yik Yak? The film has an easy-listenin’ synth score (totally inappropriate given it’s early 1930’s setting) that plays no matter the sitch…

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Boys Next Door (1985)

Psychopath-in-training Roy (Maxwell Caulfield) and his naive buddy Bo (Charlie Sheen) are recently graduated high school outcasts (they were the white trash in an institution populated by the rich). Not really keen on becoming factory workers just yet, the boys take an impromptu vacay down L.A. way. So what do two young boys do for fun? Why cause grave bodily harm to a gas station attendant, old lady, and some bodacious babes in barely there bikinis of course, as one does. But all of that is just the precursor to a night of extreme violence and dark, dark times. Hilarity does not fuckin’ ensue. Holy hell, how have I never slapped my putrid peepers on this flick before?!! Full of nihilism, violence, and explosive teenage rage The Boys Next Door is a downright mother fuckin’ masterpiece! Why does it work so well? Let me tell ya… seriously, I kinda have to, it’s my job here… anyway, let me tell ya,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Hitchhike to Hell (1983)

Mild-mannered dry-cleaning delivery man Howard (Robert Gribbin) lives with his mother, enjoys putting together model kits and drinking root beer… and has a propensity for raping (the female ones anyway) and killing hitchhikers that have runaway from home and hate their mommies… an admittedly niche demographic, but Howard is rather successful in his murder biz all the same. Why does Homicidal Howie commit these awful acts? Simple, his sister ran away from home and caused his mother static… seems solid enough to me! Anyway, who will attempt to stop this nightmare before the bodies pile-up further? Why none other than Russell Johnson (you know, The Professor from Gilligan’s Island) as small-town Police Captain J.W. Shaw. Will Howard escape justice or will his reign of terror continue on? Everything from the over-the-top acting of leading man Gribbin, to the ridiculously dramatic musical score (courtesy of Perry Daniels), to the cheesy dialog, swirls and bubbles in a witch’s cauldron to create pure

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 23, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Fan (1981)

Douglas (Michael fuckin’ Biehn baby), a record salesman by trade, has a side gig absolutely obsessing over actress Sally Ross (Lauren Bacall). Nothing wrong with a lil’ celebrity crush right? Well, not in this case because ol’ Doug is crazy as a shithouse rat, and when his letters begin to be rebuked by Sally’s secretary Belle (Maureen Stapleton) he gets even more crazed… like slashin’ and/or putting the murder biz on those closest to her while she rehearses one of the cheesiest musicals ever created. Soon, our heroine spends every waking moment fearing for her life as the body count around her continues to rise… will she be able to survive her ordeal and bring horrendous theater to the masses? Let’s kick out the jams with some positivity for The Fan. Adapted by Priscilla Chapman and John Hartwell from the novel by the same name from author Bob Randall, this film delivers some solid suspense and sprinkles some truly “what

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 22, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Flowers in the Attic (1987)

After the death of the family patriarch, teens Chris (Jeb Stuart Adams) and Cathy (Kristy Swanson), along with their twin siblings Cory (Ben Ryan Ganger) and Carrie (Lindsay Parker) are shuffled off to their elderly (and totally loaded) grandparents by their mother Corrine (Victoria Tennant). Once there, Corrine’s mega-bitch of a Bible-thumpin’ mother Olivia (Louise Fletcher) demands the children be kept in a locked room so that her husband never know of their existence. Why is she so riled up? Well it seems that Corrine’s husband was her uncle, and those kiddos are straight up the byproduct of that ol’ family fav; incest! As Corrine suffers her mother’s punishments in order to fall back into the family good graces and inherit some serious coin; the kids explore the one place the have access to from their pseudo-prison; the attic… which they turn into a sanctuary of sorts. As the time passes, our young heroes see less and less of Mommy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 20, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: The Housewife (2019)

Hey there cats n’ creeps, remember when yours cruelly served you up some revoltin’ reviews featurin’ the sinister shorts created by talented filmmaker Creepy Chloe Carroll? Probably not since you lot have a heavy thoughts on your monstrous minds like “Huh?” and “Duh… “, but fear not, because I got the loathsome link right here for ya, so you can catch up… Anyway, Chloe is back with her latest bite size chunk of the horror biz titled The Housewife, so let me give it my standard substandard treatment and give you my thoughts on the matter! A picture-perfect housewife (Yana Mulder)… like think something on the Donna Reed tip, ya dig? Anyway, that wife is whippin’ up some din-din and catching static from her daughter Kate (Aaralyn Anderson) and her hubby (Mike Sutton) as to when that meal will be ready to consume! Eventually young Kate wanders upstairs and finds a strange box which she presents to her mother. Let’s

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 19, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Road Games (1981)

It seems rando comely hitchhikin’ babes are finding themselves all murdered-up down Australia way. Travelling those same roads is wise-ass quip machine Pat Quid (Stacy Keach); a trucker who runs his mouth to his own captive audience; his pet dingo Boswell. On his journey, our hero meets all manner of wacky folks on the road… but none are stranger than the dude in the green van (Grant Page) that keeps turning up and acting more and more like the culprit of the horror biz listed previous. Before long, Quid picks up a hitchhiker named Pamela (Jamie Lee Curtis), and together the duo attempt to solve the mystery at hand… but Pam soon runs afoul of that vicious van and it’s up to quirky Quid to try and save the day! A bizarre mix of Hitchcockian suspense, trucker picture, and hallucinogenic mind-fuck, Road Games is as weird as it sounds, and it’s damn entertaining to boot! The film also comes in

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Nov 16, 2019
Next →