Movie Review: The Theta Girl (2017)

June 28, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Gayce (Victoria Elizabeth Donofrio) always seems to be where the fun and action are in a seedy city that seems to exist in a haze of glam infused punk rock and no-hold-barred orgies…sounds like my house on any given Tuesday, eh my creeps? Hello…anyone…I’m so alone…where the hell was I? Oh yeah, Gayce…she’s popular because she supplies everyone with a drug called theta…a lil’ number that can rip asunder dimensions and send people hurtling to a land that’s at times one part silent movie film stock, one part school play from hell, and all parts totally fucked-the-shit-up. in said dimension lies a being that can grant the theta user their desires…and folks have been wishing for some apocalyptic shit for sure! Anyway, when our heroine’s best friend, the local homeless dude that helps her dispense her delirious drugs, ends up quartered and with his guts arranged in an arcane sigil, Gayce goes on a quest along with her supplier Derek (Darelle D. Dove) to find out who did him in…a quest that takes her to the theta source and ever closer to death, not to mention a religious zealot named Brother Marcus (Shane Silman), as more and more of her friends end up on the dead side of things.
Get ready fiends, ‘cuz this is going to be one of those Danny XIII gush fests! As you all well know, my stock and trade is independent horror…I love it all from regional efforts to no budget classics of years past, and the more heart a feature displays, the more I dig it…and The Theta Girl has that in mother fuckin’ spades! Let’s start with the mythology and world building on hand (provided by screenwriter David Axe)…a bit of story telling that puts most flicks to shame! We get alternate dimensions, a reality just left of center of our own (think films such as Repo Man and Chicago Rot), and a theology completely unique to this feature…in other words we get dueling punk rock bands, an entity that may be Lucifer or God, murder, glorious gore, mayhem, ruminations on drug use and religion (and the similarities between the two), orgies…it’s enough to send your head spinning…and what delirious dizziness it is!! Adding to the experience are excellent visuals and cinematography, fantastic performances (especially from our leads Donofrio, Dove, and Silman), and some seriously great music to score the absolute insanity going on throughout the entire runtime!
As for the negatives…fuck that shit; these folks worked hard, it shows, and I appreciate it all…great narrative, beautiful images, fantastic performances…this one fires on all cylinders, and the only way you won’t dig on it is if you don’t love the completely bizarre…which if you don’t you have come to the wrong review column pal-o-mine!
Gloriously trashy, gory, and psychotronic, The Theta Girl is also beautiful and possessed of a rich mythology and heart that is rare to find in a drug fueled revenge picture…trust me creeps, this one is an absolute can’t miss for you who would have been Drive-In crawlers and Grindhouse haunters!


For more on The Theta Girl from Horror Fuel head here!

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