Movie Review: Blood Clots (2018)

August 3, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

As is the case with more than a few arcane anthologies these days, Blood Clots skips the tried and true wrap-around feature and just gets with the gettin’ by presenting seven stories (called “clots”) with no discernible thread. so without further ado, let’s lay our eerie eyeballs on these things one by one and see how they stack up!
Clot I: Hell of a Day: (Director/Writer: Evan Hughes) An injured woman takes shelter in an abandoned restaurant as a zombie apocalypse rages outside the structure. Soon the creatures start their shimmy shamble shenanigans and end up coming inside, so our heroine descends into the basement and locks herself in. Will she survive with her sanity and body parts intact?
This one was a solid lil’ zombie flick cum psychological thriller. The film was definitely shot and acted well, and the effects were damn solid and should satisfy a gore hounds blood tooth nicely. All in all a strong way to kick of this creepy collection!
Clot II: Never Tear Us Apart: (Director/Co-Writer: Sid Zanforlin, Writer: Chris Bavota) Two hapless dudes find themselves at the mercy of a married couple with very peculiar appetites deep in a foreboding forest. To say more would ruin the fun!
Gory, tense, and containing a great twist, our second segment is another solid gold wicked winner…man if this keeps up we may be looking at a damn solid fright flick here fiends!
Clot III: Blue Moon: (Dir: Martyn Pick, Writer: Airell Anthony Hayles) A sleazy pornographer attempts to film an innocent (and desperate for cash) young woman having public sex when things get hairy…due in no small part to a rampaging werewolf.
Our third story is chock full of nudity, wrongness, a fun werewolf suit…you know, the things that really tickle your’s cruelly’s fearful fancy…there’s also a damaged dick shootin’ blood, so A+ on that one me geezers!
Clot IV: Time to Eat: (Director/Writer: Luke Asa Guidici) A young boy chases his ball into a basement inhabited by a slimy tentacled horror, as his mother prepares dinner. Let’s just say the menu ends up not being what you would expect!
Charming, whimsical, and full of fun effects work, this yarn is a nice diversion from the carnage witnessed previous. It’s also completely devoid of dialog (and crimson spraying cocks) and relies totally on the expressive, and excellent, acting of it’s two leads. For those keeping score at home, we are 4 for 4 here…
Clot V: Still: (Director/Writer: Carl Timms) A man that portrays a human statue in order to earn some coin finds his skill set very helpful as the world devolves into a zombie infested hell and he has to stare down the living dead in order to survive.
This short does the near impossible; presenting a unique take on the over-saturated zombie genre (while still delivering buckets and buckets of grizzly gore). Having our protagonist be a man that can’t move in order to survive is a brilliant paradigm shift from the normal running heroes we normally get in these types of things!
C’mon Blood Clots; ya got two more stories to deliver on and you may pull off being the ultra-rare “clunker free” anthology!
Clot VI: Hellyfish: (Directors: Patrick Longstreth, Robert McLean) An Iranian Terrorist and Russian spy (timely!) go in search of a submerged atomic bomb lost in the late 1950’s. Well, long story short, those nogoodniks F with that A (bomb that is) and release radiation that turns the already violent jellyfish in the area into full-on mutant monsters that terrorize a local beach!
Comprised of a slick visual style reminiscent of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow for the beginning portion before transitioning to a (still slick) more traditional cinematic aesthetic, this segment is full-on creature feature/comic book fun! Simply put, Hellyfish is a goofy creature packed delight that ends up being straight up Grade-A fuckin’ awesome!
Finally we come to:
Clot VII: The Call of Charlie: (Director/Co-Writer: Nick Spooner, Writers: Guy Benoit, John Simpson) A couple plans a dinner date with Charlie and a woman they hope to set him up with, but before they arrive some unexpected guests invite themselves over. Much to those interloper’s surprise when Charlie makes the scene he is a bonafide Cthulhu spawn; tentacles and all!
Hilarious, ridiculous, and downright Dee-fuckin’-lightful, The Call of Charlie is hands down my favorite selection offered here (with Hellyfish being a very close second). Also of note, the make-up effects utilized to bring ol’ chuck to life are simply amazing!
There you have it; Blood Clots is all killer, no filler with nary a shitty segment in the bunch! If you love creatures, gore, and silliness in equal measure this is the fright flick for you my boils and ghouls!


For more on Blood Clots from Horror Fuel head here!

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