Movie Review: The Toybox (2018)

September 2, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Big Chuck (Greg Violand) has got himself a vintage RV which he hopes to utilize to patch up his relationship with his two adult children, Steve (who is gung-ho for forced family fun), and Jay who isn’t all rainbows and sunshine about the affair, via cramming them in that boxy piece of shit and haulin’ ass ‘cross country.
Also along for this lil’ road trip are his eldest son’s wife Jennifer (Denise Richards) along with their daughter and dog…you know, because a fright flick needs kids and animals in peril to really get our collective pulse poundin’! Speaking of potential victims…err, I mean characters; the gang picks up Samantha (Mischa Barton) and her brother who have recently been stranded on the road thanks to their crappy car. Soon the occupants begin having terrifying…okay, mildly gross hallucinations…could something evil be afoot (it damn well ought to be or this shit is getting turned off with the F’n quickness)? Anyway, Charlie decides to drive off the beaten path to see some fucking landmark or another, and the gang becomes lost in the desert after the RV goes hog wild and drives all crazy like resulting in the death of Samantha’s bro.
Soon the mysterious accidents, creepy dark water flowing from the faucets, and ghostly visions begin to add up to one hell of a haunted RV (this may be a fright flick first btw)…and one that starts to engage in straight up murder! Who will survive this family vacay from hell is anybody’s guess!
First off, a haunted RV? Major kudos on that one Toybox! Seriously making a fucking RV seem menacing is one hell of a feat, but this film actually pulls it off…mostly due to the fact that no one is safe, and the various attacks are actually shocking and help that good ol’ tension mount ever higher! Also of note is the fact that this is one slick lookin’ supernatural shocker, that is also well acted, and filled with some nice practical gore and make-ups (with one exception mentioned below), as well as a good handful of genuinely creepy bits.
On the negative side; and this goes for all frightful film makers in our beloved horror biz: please shit can the large mouthed, black eyed, stringy haired specters…my lord, is this image ever boring, and at this point it’s bordering on parody. This kind of ghost is as boring as a dogs asshole and needs to go away post-haste. Thankfully The Toybox has many of other grizzly ghoulies to behold, so it doesn’t hurt the picture too much…
To put a beastly bow on it; The Toybox is a fun, well made supernatural shocker with a unique premise, and is worth slappin’ your eerie eyeballs on!


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