What happens when you mix a Satanic cult and broke virgin? You get director Chelsea Stardust‘s Satanic Panic starring Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O’Connell, and Jordan Ladd. Hayley Griffith (interview) plays the lead role of Sam,a young woman working her first night as a pizza delivery girl.
With what felt like a nod to Clerks, the film opens with Sam talking with other delivery people before heading off on her delivery route, praying she gets a tip before her scooter runs out of gas. Of course, she runs into a series of cheapskates and weirdoes. When an order needs to be delivered to the rich section of town, she jumps at the chance, not knowing she’s about to run into serious trouble. Between raunchy advances, magical spells, and the threat of becoming a sacrifice, Sam’s day just went from bad to worse. Now, all she has to do is survive the night, a demon, and the cult lead by Danica (Romijn) who has some seriously witchy tricks up her sleeve.
Satanic Panic has something for every horror fan. Action-packed and witty, this flick has more gore than you can shake a severed arm at. It also goes big with comedy. One word, “killdo.” Yeap, you read that right, there’s a scene featuring a giant strap-on killer dildo and it’s something you won’t be able to get out of your head.
Funny, brutal, and a bit campy, Satanic Panic is a lot of fun. It’s not scary, but as far as horror-comedies go, it’s a fine flick worthy of praise, which is why I’m going to give it a 5/5.
Satanic Panic opens in theaters and arrives On Digital and On Demand on September 6, 2019. Be sure to check our interview with Griffith, who gave us insight into the movie and some of its most memorable moments.