Blu-ray Review: Killer Crocodile (1989)

October 12, 2019

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Surely riding on the shit-hot success of that legendary legend Jaws: The Revenge or the announcement of an upcoming sequel to Alligator; Italy birthed Killer Crocodile… a film that features a killer crocodile (I  mean c’mon, it’s right there in the title folks)… and a fuckin’ huge one to boot!

When a group of youngish(?)… they could be anywhere from twenty to forty depending on the light and angle… environmentalists go fucking around in a toxic waste dump of a swamp (created by the one/two punch of a crooked judge and a shady corporation), one of their group ends up in a rather devoured state thanks to the fucking school bus sized mutant croc that calls that monstrous marsh home sweet home!

As you can guess, the group want to protect the beast (environmentalists, remember?), no matter how much of a murder machine the bastard obviously is. Let me tell ya, keeping that lethal lizard alive isn’t going to be easy thanks to the arrival of crocodile huntin’, ball breakin’, Lee Van Cleef clone (Lee Van Clone) Joe (Ennio Girolami) who aims to make that creeping creature extinct!

Filled to the brim with gore, explosions, Joe, and music seemingly lifted from a romance film from the golden age of Hollywood, Killer Crocodile delivers the creature feature gold in sinewy spades! As ludicrous as everything in this film is, the most over-the-top element of all is the full scale mechanical crocodile prop utilized in this film. This beautiful bitch is humongous, filled with fangs, and looks to be as unwieldy as all hell, and I absolutely love every damn second this wicked wonder is on screen!

Can we talk about the dubbing in this picture? Usually I never talk about the voice acting in these Italian fright flicks, because it seems like well trodden ground; we all know some screamingly hilarious lines and voices populate these films… buuuttt, Killer Crocodile has a performance (for those keeping score at home, it’s the old guy fishing in a boat towards the beginning of the film) so transcendentally terrible that the very fabric of the universe is weakened by it’s mere existence. Trust me, you may burst your lungs from laughter… goddamn I love this fucking movie!!!

As for extra features on this Severin Blu-ray release, we get interviews with Special Make-Up Artist Giannetto De Rossi (a self-effacing conversation where he discusses the film’s effects and the eponymous creature in detail), Actor Pietro Genuardi, Cinematographer Federico Del Zoppo, and Actor Anthony Crenna, as well as the film’s trailer.

Absolutely one of the most fun releases I have experienced this year; Killer Crocodile is everything you could demand from a picture like this and then some… and just you wait until you see the climax… we are talking must own material here cats n’ creeps!

 

 

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