Movie Review: Cry Havoc (2020)

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

April 27, 2020

A small potatoes TV reporter type named Ellen Weaver (Emily Sweet), thinks she has just what the demonic doctor ordered to give her career a much needed shot in the ass; namely a chit-chat with serial killer The Voyeur (Richard Tyson), who has been laying low due to his bum-bum ending up on the FBI’s Most Wanted list!

Long story short, ol’ Big V has set himself up a real ring-ding racket where he intends to let folks attempt to survive the monstrous machinations of his own pet slasher, Havoc (J.D. Angstadt)… a psycho in a creep-ass mask who is really good at makin’ people extinct… and Ellen discovers she is going to be one of those mother fuckers balls deep in the Save-Ass biz!

Enter: a tortured police detective (Robert ‘Bronzi’ Kovacs) who has never healed from a falling out with his daughter (Spring Inés Pena)… a daughter that has vanished, but lo and behold she has been traced to the scene of Havoc’s kill-spree. Soon Ellen and Bronzi team-up and make a go of escaping Havoc’s wicked woods (his favorite hunting ground) with their hides intact!

As in flicks such as From Hell to the Wild West (itself a western take on the slasher themes present here… with the same star no less), and Death Kiss; writer/director Rene Perez teams up with Bronzi; a Charles Bronson look-alike… fuck, that isn’t fair… Bronzi doesn’t just look like Bronson, he absolutely channels the man… heart and soul, to spectacular effect. Now why is that so important?

I’ll tell your ass why! You see, Perez makes films in the Cannon Films manner, and when he creates these films it’s like Cannon never went belly-up, and Bronson (the studio’s frequent star) is still among the living… and hasn’t missed a beat! What this offers is pure exploitation flick comfort food that manages to tickle our VHS rental days nostalgia nuts while actually pleasing us with all-new stories to enjoy.

To that end, Cry Havoc provides a welcome relief from the stresses of adult life delivered with all of the bullet holes, bloodshed, and brain-on-park awesomeness that made those Cannon classics so much damn fun in the first place!

Seriously boils n’ ghouls, this is like if Cannon (I know, I know… I can’t shut up about them, but fuck it… they are one of my all-time favs, so deal with it cats n’ creeps) had combined the Death Wish and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchises… both of which they owned in the eerie eighties… and created a flick I never knew I needed (or dreamed could exist)… but holy fuck, did I ever NEED it… and I bet you lot do too!

 

 

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