Visual Vengeance have collected a duo of ninja films and put them out on Blu-ray, the first of which, Commando the Ninja (1988), was produced and co-created by Godfrey Ho (we are just going to go with the gloriously mentally unstable Cynthia Rothrock martial arts experience, Undefeatable… but he has been associated with…sometimes in a rather bullshit way… bananas cinematic fried gold on any number of other features such as Ninja Terminator)…
Anyway, a dude named Tanaka went and developed a form of germ warfare during World War II, and nowadays plenty of folks are hot on his ass to obtain that formula right quick!
Vying for possession of said formula are evil businessman Martin who desires the formula to sell at a tidy profit… there’s also a ninja named David involved… as well as Brenda, a woman in a bedazzled all-denim outfit who kicks a rather outrageous amount of ass… for instance she pounds another character in a scene so hard he goes off his feet inside and ends up on his ass outside… he doesn’t go through a wall or anything, he just is outside…
Also caught up in the narrative maelstrom/search are Brenda’s sister, Becky, who has a tight perm and wears a pair of Confederate flag shorts… she too beats people’s asses… oh, and their uncle is a Russian crime boss… additionally, and perhaps best of all, there’s Larry, Master of Hocus Pocus (a magic-based martial art style) who aims to guard the formula for the good of all humanity!
It also needs be mentioned that the formula can not be obtained without the aid of a magic talisman in the shape of horns.
Tattooed in never ending spirals of plot uncertainty upon my cortex lies Chi Lo’s (Magic Swords) Commando the Ninja… a film that manages to be unhinged in some way, shape, or form in every damn scene.
Besides the fever-dream narrative, provided by screenwriter Stephen So (Hands of Death… another Ho joint) we are also treated to some dubbing that may have been recorded by androids or space aliens doing their best to approximate human speech, word flubs and all!
The film is padded in fantastically weird ways with sequences being slowed down for no other reason than a mandated runtime needed to be met… including a character being blasted with a fire hydrant for what seems like long minutes before ramping back up.
The score is just as frantic, with electric guitar riffs mixing with wacky synth… maybe it’s lifted from another source, but either way it’s the perfect accompaniment for the batshit that is Commando the Ninja.
To make sense of it all, it’s special features to the rescue as we get an informational and enjoyable commentary with Justin Decloux and Will Sloane of The Important Cinema Club, (which provides as much info about both film’s in this collection as is available along with plenty of other facts about the genre) followed by overviews of both Godfrey Ho and director Chi Lo’s (Law Chi) careers, plus a duo of trailers for the film.
Moving on to the second feature present here…
Things begin in Born a Ninja the only way they could, with a pilfered soundtrack from Star Wars that someone creatively edited so you’ll never be able to guess where it’s from… in theory.
Following that we catch up with our pal Tanaka who is gripped with guilt over his formula, and evil biz Martin is still up T-dawgs ass for that spicy bi-chem recipe!
Since Martin is a complete psychopath, Larry and David must combine their respective Ninjitsu and Hocus Pocus styles to attempt to keep that formula safe… but plot twists and differing (but equally batshit) nonsense than seen in the first go-around keep things incredibly enjoyable to witness!
Returning are Becky and Brenda’s outfits from Commando the Ninja (and themselves as well), that damn talisman, and a wee bit of recycled footage (which is relative all things considered).
Joseph Lai (prolific producer of films such as… and including… both films on this disc, as well as the Thunder Ninja Kids franchise) brings us Round 2 as both writer and director, and in my opinion, this is the better film of the duo.
This episode is filled with all manner of ninja-action (absolutely hard to resist for any ‘80s kid), more magic, and a slightly more cohesive (but still punch-drunk) story-line… all set to a bonkers bass heavy score co-featuring a synth and electric guitar going absolutely off their tits… among other audio assaults.
The slo-mo padding is amped up for the sequel as well, and features such slowed-down sequences as: a man burning alive (followed by a wacky wipe I assume was built into whatever TV-style video camera was used to record this madness… ), the same character, being just fine after his immolation, going out of his fucking mind, Larry experiencing some sort of magic-based conniption fit, and of course, two dudes talking as they float around on bumper boats… all seem to go on for silly lengths of time.
Special features accompanying the mania of Born a Ninja is an audio commentary courtesy of a returning Justin Decloux (who this time provides a closer look at Godfrey Ho’s career), an interview with Actor Kwan Chung, an image gallery, and a couple o’ trailers.
Speaking of “special” (that’s going to read wrong), special mention must be given to the absolutely awesome ‘80s-style menu screens and Visual Vengeance logo-treatment on display here… amazing!
This release also contains two folded mini-posters (one for each feature), a reversible sleeve (featuring original VHS art), a faux-VHS sticker set, and a booklet containing an essay by ninja movie expert C.J. Lines.
Born a Ninja and Commando the Ninja provide ninja action with that ol’ hocus pocus pizzazz… with bonus padding… and both are enjoyable as hell!
