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DanXIII

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Movie Review: To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story (2017)

Kane Hodder is Jason Voorhees…I mean he isn’t actually the masked maniac, Jason is a fictional character (in case any of you are complete idiots) but, he was definitely the actor that made the role his own, and gave the Friday the 13th film series’ icon a real personality (not an easy task considering Hodder’s face is never seen on film without heavy prosthetic make-up, nor does he utter a single line of dialog in his four on screen stints as the character) comprised of distinct movements. And as you can imagine, any documentary about the man had better well and duly cover his most famous role…and this one satisfies in that department for sure, but there is so much more to learn in To Hell and Back: The Kane Hodder Story. Coming in at roughly twenty or so minutes into the narrative, the story of how Kane received the scars that have been visible in interviews and his unmasked

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DanXIII

Jul 8, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Animal Among Us (2018)

Merrymaker Campgrounds has a bit of a bad rep…I mean sure two girls were savagely murdered there a few years back, but the case was chalked up to an animal attack and that’s all she wrote, right? Fuck no, what the hell kind of fright flick would that be?!! Enter horror author/college professor/philanderer Roland Baumgarner (Christian Oliver) who just so happened to write a book based on that hot mess mentioned above and heads out to Merrymaker to cut the ribbon at the camp’s grand re-opening. Once there he meets the rangers in charge; Anita and Poppy Bishop (Larisa Oleynik and Christine Donlon respectively), grizzled hunter Burl Wolf (Don Frye, and some frazzled survivors that claim they were fucked up six ways to Sunday by a monster…”animal attack” my ass! Of course the killing continues on and secrets are revealed that challenge everything our heroes know about the monster and themselves! Let’s start with the positives with Animal Among Us…and

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DanXIII

Jul 7, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: A.I. Tales (2018)

Usually when I have to lay my putrid peepers on an arcane anthology things take a turn for the horror biz, but recently I was sent a picture packed with yarns of a sci-fi bent, all with the theme of artificial intelligence as their linking narrative element. Let’s see how the disparate stories (these shorts are presented “as is” with no connecting framing narrative) of A.I. Tales stack up, shall we? First up comes Seed; the story of a man named Nathan (Nelson Lee, who also wrote and directed the film) who’s family and friends gather to celebrate his birthday, but rather than being a joyous affair things take a turn for the melancholy as our protagonist reflects on the life he has lead with the folks gathered, warts and all. So why is Nathan so glum…why because it is his 40th birthday and there fore he must be reduced to just his consciousness and give up his body in

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DanXIII

Jul 7, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Triggered (2018)

Annoying, pain in the ass Callie (Meredith Mohler) is an obnoxious social justice warrior who spends her life reporting the supposedly offensive actions of her fellow students in spectacularly over-the-top fashion. Things are going swimmingly for her quest to find the ultimate level of butt hurt when a legendary serial killer returns and picks up the murder biz he started years previous. This chaps Callie’s ass big time as now the town is more concerned about being slaughtered and becoming real victims rather than the one she pretends to be every minute of the day. Speaking of pretending, Callie, along with her pal Ian (Jesse Dalton) devise a plan to fake an attack by the maniac (after Callie accidentally kills a fellow student) to put the spotlight back on our long suffering heroine. This of course goes over about as well as a fart on a submarine and our slice n’ dice antagonist targets that annoying bitch…err, I mean Callie

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DanXIII

Jul 6, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Godmonster of Indian Flats (1973)

After a whole mess of sheep, a cowboy (sheepboy?!!) in a furry vest playing the one armed bandit, rando joyriding, and four music changes (a heavenly chorus. some synthy fart noises, a brassy upbeat number, and some sort of stock score music) we get down to the real business with Godmonster of Indian Flats…namely that this film is batshit insane and possibly the product of a certified schizophrenic (or a director desperately trying to meet their run time…not a lot of difference really). Following all that we get a banjo band with a beatnik playing in a traditional old west saloon (like straight out of a John Wayne movie costumes and all)…and we finally get going on the story to this picture; namely that dude mentioned previous finds one hella fucked up newborn lamb (after he experiences a psychotronic freak out)…a find that is whisked away to the lab of scientific manly-man Dr. Clemens (E. Kerrigan Prescott…Christ, they just should

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DanXIII

Jul 6, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Sunset Society (2018)

The Sunset Society are a cadre of vampires (played by sunset strip rock icons such as Tracii Guns and Dizzy Reed…and Ron Jeremy?!!) who meet in an opulent mansion (the exterior of which is inexplicably realized through animation…we’ll get back to that in a paragraph or so) to drink the blood of strippers (apparently), and shoot the shit with their overlord Ace (Lemmy) and his mate Sophia (Phoebe Dollar). As that goes on, we also get some hoo-ha about some footage of the Society that has been secretly shot and is in danger of exposing the clan to the world of mortal men. Bodies are switched, blood is drank, and ropes are jumped… Where to even begin with the uneven ride that is Sunset Society…for starters, it is painfully obvious that the film is comprised of two separate elements that have been Frankensteined together to create a cohesive fright flick. The main meat of the narrative; a secret tape (supposedly

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DanXIII

Jul 5, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Abominable (2006)

Preston Rogers (Matt McCoy), a wheelchair bound man recovering from a severe mountain climbing accident that took the life of his wife, takes his doctor’s advice and heads to a remote cabin in the wilderness near where the tragedy occurred to face his fears and heal in the peace and quite with his prize winning dick of a nurse, Otis (Christien Tinsley) in tow. Of course in exactly one p.h. after he arrives, a group of garrulous beauties takes up residence in the cabin next door…one of which our hero believes was abducted by a Bigfoot-like creature (a rational assumption) after spying on them with binoculars, though of course Otis thinks he’s insane. Well turns out P-man was correct-a-mundo as ‘Squatch is indeed on a kill-crazy rampage, and soon everyone within those wicked woods is fodder for the beast’s deadly desires…and surviving the night will become a near insurmountable challenge! Filled with absolutely tons of effective suspense, a gorgeous monster

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DanXIII

Jul 4, 2018

ForeignIndieMovies

Blu-ray Review: Don’t Grow Up (2015)

In a sparsely populated youth center on a remote island, a group of scruffy young tear-aways get their delinquent on when they discover the facilities supervisor has disappeared. thing remarkably don’t go full Lord of the Flies, mostly because our young antagonists soon learn that every adult in the surrounding area has turned into a rabid zombie like being overnight. Now our heroes must survive the (minor) onslaught and pray they don’t age into monsterhood too soon! Straight up, if you go into Don’t Grow Up expecting a full on zombie holocaust you are going to be severely disappointed. Rather, this flick is a rather somber coming of age drama, acted by an admittedly talented troupe of young thespians. That’s not to say their aren’t a few well done effects sequences here and there, they are just more punctuation on the troubles these kids already have in their lives. Adding to the plus column, the film is well shot with

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DanXIII

Jul 3, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Another Wolfcop (2017)

When an evil businessman, Sydney Swallows (Yannick Bisson), comes up with a poisonous plot to use his new brand of stout beer to impregnate the locals of Woodhaven with alien babies, part time werewolf and full-time alcoholic Lou Garou (Leo Fafard reprising his role from the original Wolfcop) answers the call to action…and by that I mean he begins violently ripping people apart and showing off his massive wolf wang. Complicating the police forces efforts to shut Swallows plan down is the fact the town’s mayor, Bubba Rich (Kevin Smith) is B.D. into what that terrible tycoon is bringing to the town in the form of industry and hockey…not to mention the killer robot ol’ double S dispatches to fuck shit up six ways to Sunday…and believe you me there is a whole slew of other sinister shit our hairy hero has to contend with after that! Ever slappin’ my putrid peepers on the O.G. Wolfcop a few years back

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DanXIII

Jul 2, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Dead House (2014)

Three ultra-degenerates wander the affluent suburbs looking for families to abuse in their own trademarked way, namely; they film the matriarch and patriarch gettin’ it on in front of the rest of the family (how rude!) then they off everyone and steal whatever shit appeals to their greedy lil’ hearts. As is the way, nothing lasts forever…even cold November Rain…and rapey crime sprees because our terror trio picks on the wrong family when they come a knockin’ on the door of the Pontecorvo’s. You see this family harbors a secret zombie filled lab in their home (as you do), and that trio of beastly boobs of course unleash that hell resulting in the expected bloodbath…but just who will survive the onslaught? I’m going to cut right to the chase…Dead House (a.k.a. Beautiful People) takes waaaay too long to get to the arcane action! It’s nearly forty five minutes (out of an hour and thirteen minute run time…with credits) before the

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DanXIII

Jun 30, 2018

DanXIII

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