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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Monkey Farm is a Found Footage Creature Feature With Something New to Offer!

A group of intrepid documentary film makers toil away making a film about the ethics of animal testing…a journey which leads them to a former testing site now supposedly utilized as a primate sanctuary. Upon arriving, they find the facility long abandoned, in complete disrepair, and full of an ungodly stench. As their investigation continues they cross paths with scientists, crazed Skunk Ape hunters, and a mutant monster they are ill-equipped to handle! For being an entry in a genre that has definitely had it’s highs and lows (many, many lows) Monkey Farm does quite a few things right. First of all, the animal testing angle is a nice (and welcome) change from the normal paranormal/ghost subject matter usually found in pictures such as these. Adding to that, this is a creature feature as well (which is ambitious for a film like this, plus you boils and ghouls now how a monster always warms my black little heart), and the

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DanXIII

Mar 3, 2018

IndieMoviesParanormal

Movie Review: Apocalypsis is Arthouse Fare for Daring Sci-Fi Fans

In a parallel world heading toward a black hole, an ethereal albino beauty reads Revelations. As things progress, visions of angelic beings, strange shadow organizations, and pondering on man’s impact on the Earth leading to end times. The main thing Apocalypsis has going for it is style for miles. This is exactly the type of thing that comes to mind when I hear the term ‘arthouse genre film’…there are beautiful people doing oft times inexplicable things in aesthetically pleasing locations, fantastic stop-motion dreamscapes (reminiscent of the early work of Japanese auteur Shinya Tsukamoto)…in other words, it’s gorgeous…but as pretty as it all is there are some problems… Let’s start with the narrative…as mentioned above, and as the title suggests, the film involves the Biblical Book of Revelations…there’s also angels, parallel dimensions, strange conspiracies…all manner of bizarre and fascinating things, but all of it flies at you like a rocket, with some new element appearing every other minute that makes the

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DanXIII

Mar 2, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Mohawk is a Rock Solid Historic Revenge Thriller!

As the War of 1812 rages, British soldier Joshua Pinsmail (Eamon Farren) attempts to convince Mohawk elder Wentahawi (Sheri Foster) to align her people with the forces opposing America with the help of tribe members Oak (Kaniehtiio Horn) and Calvin Two Rivers (Justin Rain). After she refuses, Calvin does the murder biz on a cadre of sleeping American soldiers. this goes over like a fart in a submarine, and soon our heroes find themselves pursued by world-class psycho Col. Hezekiah Holt (Ezra Buzzington) and his small band of soldiers. What follows is an orgy of torture, suspense, and supernatural intervention all intertwining on the trail to sweet revenge. Mohawk isn’t a straight up fright flick, it includes so many earmarks of our beloved horror biz that it would be foolhardy not to consider it a part of our petrifying pantheon…there is effective practical gore, a protagonist that has some serious preternatural overtones, and a climax that has more than a

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DanXIII

Mar 1, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: Eat Me is a Challenging Film With a Serious Dark Streak!

A woman, who is a really shitty house keeper by the way, decides today is the day to commit suicide, and she makes a real day of it too…gobbling pills, planning her death pose, hiding dildos…and of course watching The Beverly Hillbillies, all as one does. Things go south on that plan however when she passes out from the drugs and is promptly raped (well the attempt was there) by one of a pair of home invaders…oh movie, you’re going to be one of those types of affairs, eh? Well not exactly, as the more sympathetic of the duo keeps her awake while his pal goes on a food run, and manages to make her puke during a beej that he talks her into…oh man, this is going to be a rough one…Further degradation occurs as our loathsome unwanted house guest abuses his victim by making her eat and drink from cat dishes while a belt is tied around her

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DanXIII

Feb 27, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesParanormal

Movie Review: The Lullaby Will Ensure You Sleep Uneasy!

Teen mom Chloe returns home to Eden Rock in order to have the support of her mother in raising her infant son. Man it would suck if the place was a concentration camp a hundred or so years ago where babies were summarily executed. Anyway, that baby gets to constantly cryin’, Chloe falls into a depression, and begins seeing and hearing signs that her baby may be haunted. Despite the fact that her family and psychologist think she is just stressed the F out being a new mother and all, the evil omens grow ever more intense and dark secrets are revealed that push our heroine further over the edge. The Lullaby is a dreary, dark, and at times difficult fright flick to endure. Chloe (played to perfection by Reine Swart) is a stressed out, angsty hot mess, which definitely helps audience unease, and the underlying subject matter of violence towards infants is rather off-putting as well. I’m of two

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DanXIII

Feb 25, 2018

MoviesParanormal

Movie Review: Gate II is a Hell of a Good Time!

Since opening a gate to hell with his pal Glen, ol’ Terry (Louis Tripp returning from the first film) has been itchin’ to relive the glory days. To achieve that lofty goal, he has set up some sort of techno-arcane alter in the remains of Glen’s old home. Well as fate would have it (and the fact that it would be one shitty film if he didn’t) Terry successfully performs a ceremony (with an unwanted assist by a trio juvenile delinquents) that conjures forth a minion (also returning from the first film) from The Other Side that grants wishes…now, what could possibly go wrong in this scenario? At first nothing…then everything turns to shit…both figuratively and literally (I mean everything they physically conjure up turns to piles of feces). Will Terry be able to confront the evil of the Gate and save his soul from damnation? Gate II is a rare sequel that is able to be nearly as entertaining

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DanXIII

Feb 24, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesTrue CrimeTrue Story

Movie Review: Cruel Summer is a Vacation I Never Hope to Take Again.

This is probably going to be one of the shorter reviews I have ever written…mainly because I think if I spend any more time time thinking about Cruel Summer I may get sick. Cruel Summer tells the charming (and supposedly true) tale of a young autistic man named Danny (Richard Pawulski) from the inner-city that gets a chance to go to the country thanks to a Governmental program. While there he encounters a real psycho of a human being who plans Danny’s demise after his equally atrocious girlfriend concocts a lie about the youth. You can guess the rest. Let’s see if I can put a positive on some of this…I guess if you want to see a film that fully displays the cruelty and unfairness that life can throw at someone then Cruel Summer is the picture for you. There is no epic revenge, no hope, barely any retribution…it’s just one unfortunate soul encountering a force that is out

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DanXIII

Feb 22, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Primal Rage is an Amazing Creature Feature you Need to See!

Ashley picks up her husband Max after his stint in the big House and begins a trek through the Pacific Northwest replete with yokel locals, disappointing sex, and a batch of missing persons that rumor has it were spirited away by what the natives call Oh-Mah…also known as Bigfoot to you and me. Soon the duo find themselves well and truly in the shit when they find themselves lost in the woods (after a series of incidents involving an outrageously mutilated man, a mysterious force hucking rocks at roughly the speed of light, and a wild n’ woolly trip down some rapids). As they trek ever on it becomes evident that something large and hairy is on their trail and before long the woods run red with blood! Let’s get the nuts and bolts out of the way before we get to the ghoulish gravy shall we? Primal Rage is one hell of a well made fright flick! The story

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DanXIII

Feb 22, 2018

ForeignMovies

Movie Review: Interchange is a Unique but Flawed Dark Thriller

Det. Azman (Shaheizy Sam) is charged with investigating a series of bizarre murders all marked by the same horrific details; veins torn from the bodies and drained of blood, beads placed under the victim’s eyelids, and strange puncture wounds on their jugulars. Adding to the mystery, heron feathers (a bird that is native to Borneo) and shards of glass are found at each crime scene. Azman enlists the help of ex-crime scene photographer Adam (a man that now spends his time taking pictures of his comely neighbor from his apartment window) who quickly identifies the shards as glass plates that were utilized in photography a century ago. Adam takes the plates to Uncle Heng (Chew Kin-wah) who develops them revealing they were taken by Norwegian explorer Carl Lumholtz, who recorded native customs in Borneo a century ago…customs that resemble the fates of the murder victims. The strangeness escalates as Belian (Nicholas Suprata) enters the film…because B-man is a sort of

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DanXIII

Feb 20, 2018

IndieMoviesParanormal

Movie Review: The Lodgers is a Must See for Lovers of Gothic Thrillers!

In a small Irish village, orphan twins Rachel (Charlotte Vega) and Edward (Bill Milner) live a reclusive existence within the confines of their decaying mansion (handed down through generations of their family) which no stranger may enter. Also the place is cursed (as all of the previous heir’s parents have drowned together in a lake on the estate’s grounds) and haunted…and the spirits are gettin’ a tad restless… Anyhow, one day Rachel (more adventurous than her sullen sibling who has never left the house since their parents died years previous) strolls to town and meets Sean (Eugene Simon); an outcast soldier just back from World War 1. Rachel gets a case of the horny’s for Sean (seems masturbation and an incestuous relationship with Eddie ain’t cuttin’ the mustard anymore)…which creates an interesting love triangle to say the least. Complicating our protagonists’ lives further; they may have to sell the house as the family’s solicitor, Mr. Bermingham (David Bradley), arrives with

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DanXIII

Feb 18, 2018

DanXIII

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