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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Zombiology: Enjoy Yourself Tonight is an Amazing Film that Blends Everything a Geek Culture Holds Dear!

Lone (Michael Ning) and Yeung (Louis Cheung) are two anime-lovin’ dudes (with their fav being Double Dragons of Heaven and Earth…with protagonists that look a lot like our heroes…or do our heroes look like the characters…more on that in a bit) who dress as pandas to make a living. As perfectly peachy as that sounds, our man Lone has a few problems in his life; like the fact that his ex-con father has returned after a decade in the big house, to try and make amends for injuring Lone’s step-mother, Shan (Carrie Ng), in a car crash that left the former Cantonese opera star crippled and housebound (and resulted in her brother’s death to boot)…or that his last relationship was six years ago (though he and Yeung both have a crush on the paranormal researcher Yit (Cherry Ngan) who happens to be Shan’s niece)…well, at least nothing could be stranger than that, right? You know the answer to that is

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DanXIII

Feb 16, 2018

ForeignMovies

Movie Review: Eaten Alive is an Orgy of Cannibals and Cults!

Oh man, things are tough all over for Sheila…her sis has gone and got herself mixed up (courtesy of those lovely ol’ drugs and brainwashing) in a religious cult holed up in a commune in the jungles of New Guinea (totally not Jonestown) led by the enigmatic Jonas (real subtle flick…real subtle). As if the whole evil cult wasn’t bad enough, the surrounding area is home to some carnivorous cannibals (are there any other kind really?) who want to make a meal out of Sheila-baby, the cultists…pretty much anyone they can sink their terrible teeth into. Soon Shelia, along with her hard-ass mercenary pal Mark, infiltrate the cult and then attempt to escape with their lives and asses intact! Eaten Alive is indicative of all that is great, and all that kinda sucks about the Italian cannibal sub-genre. Brought to life by legendary director Umberto Lenzi (Cannibal Ferox, Nightmare City…and 1972’s Man From Deep River who’s one scene of cannibalism

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DanXIII

Feb 15, 2018

IndieMovies

Viral Films Readying Lycanthropic Shocker Werehouse!

Viral Films, creators of last years impressive short For Her (which we reviewed right here), are preparing to unleash their next sinister short Werehouse…which as the title implies will feature some wicked werewolf action! Check out the official word from viscous Viral themselves! When a peaceful protest erupts into a full-blown riot, a trio of University Students who are caught in the middle seek refuge in a warehouse. Little do they realize that tonight is the one night of the month they really should’ve stayed out. The film is tentatively scheduled to shoot in the spring with a target release date of Halloween 2018! If you want to be part of the creation of Werehouse you can check out the film’s Kickstarter page right here!

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DanXIII

Feb 12, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Black Creek Slightly Suffers From Cliche and Amateur Acting.

Black Creek begins with a number of disparate (yet oddly connected) story lines including; a missing girl going Satan-eyed and offing and/or possessing some teenage deer hunters, a gaggle of high schoolers doing that tried and true ‘teen partying’ at their emo pal Mike’s (who is a P.H. Native American…trust me, that will be important later) murder house (hey, just because folks died there years previous doesn’t mean you can’t go B.D. into the hot tub), and a young couple gettin’ their horny on in the woods…woods decked out in dream catchers…but wait my creeps, the plot sickens… Before long our hot tub lovin’ youths head out to that ol’ hoary chestnut, ‘the cabin in the woods’, to lay emo dude’s father’s ashes to rest…and drink…mostly drink…and fuck…and emo it up…I don’t know…aaaand bad dreams and possession by evil Native American spirits ensue! Can Mike come to grips with his heritage and the loss of his father and save his

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DanXIII

Feb 12, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: The Aftermath is a Dark Yet Infinitely Fun Sci-Fi Romp!

The crew of the spacecraft Nautilus returns to Earth after a prolonged mission to find the planet isn’t exactly as they remembered it due to the ravages of a nuclear war. Now in the eponymous Aftermath, evil gangs led by the ruthless Cutter (played with scenery chewing gusto by genre legend Sid Haig) are rounding up women and murdering (in spectacularly gory fashion) any man that crosses their path…and wouldn’t ya know it, our heroes are men (and have the patchy beards to prove it). That would be bad enough for our erstwhile astronauts, but they also have to contend with roving bands of mutants and violent radioactive storms. Can our heroes, along with a handful of survivors, endure the wasteland and end Cutter’s reign? Boasting out-of-left-field gore effects, hammy postulating on man’s place in the universe, a future devoid of bras, hilariously unnecessary narration, pew pew lasers, and great appearances by beloved members in good standing of the horror

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DanXIII

Feb 11, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Dinner With the Alchemist is A Full Course of Mystery and Magic!

At the dawn of the twentieth century, New Orleans is burdened with a terrible plague so consuming that the bodies of the victims are littering the streets. Times are understandably desperate….so desperate that Marie Laveau (grand daughter of the infamous voodoo priestess of the same name) can’t help…and if even voodoo is powerless you know you are well and truly in the shit. Before long the enigmatic alchemist Jacques St. Germaine arrives in town, and teams up with Marie to solve the pestilent problem. Having these two powerhouses of the arcane joining forces is fortuitous, as soon bodies (specifically those of prostitutes) begin turning up that are not the result of the disease, but rather the result of ritual rites involving the draining of blood. Soon seemingly half of New Orleans is trying to solve the case, from ham-fisted policeman to the residents of a local whorehouse, and as they try shocking secrets are revealed and innocent lives are caught

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DanXIII

Feb 11, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Red Eye is a Strong if Flawed Slasher

The narrative of Red Eye goes a lil’ somethin’ like this; four good looking “friends” (note those quotation marks, because these pals aren’t all that fond of each other for the most part) head off into the woods of Black Creek West Virginia to film a documentary about a legendary inbred maniac named ‘Red Eye’. As they traipse through the woods they talk…and…talk…and talk…(throwing in some “cute” references to other fright flicks…and some dark backstory here and there). Eventually (thirty minutes in out of the hour and thirteen minute run time) the killer makes his appearance and we start to get what we came for; namely for the cast to be reduced in number. As the stalk n’ slay continues we find that all may not be as it seems in those wicked woods. The main attraction to Red Eye is the immense amount of heart the film makers obviously put into it. Writer/director Tristan Clay and writer/actor Destinie Orndoff

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DanXIII

Feb 9, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Reviews: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is Perfect for Horror Hounds with a Taste for the Bizarre!

Tomatoes begin going absolutely batshit insane and devouring people after genetic crop experimentation goes sideways (timely today as in 1978) …what is the nation to do? Well, for starters they wrangle a task force led by the erstwhile Mason Dixon and including master of disguise Sam Smith, champion swimmer Gretta Attenbaum, scuba diver Greg Colburn, and soldier Wilbur Finletter who is eternally connected to his parachute. As much as the team (ineptly) tries, the tomatoes eventually win the day, calling for military action which too ultimately falls short. Is there anything on Earth that can stop this preternaturally powerful produce? Yes, yes there is and it’s suitably ridiculous and won’t be spoiled here! Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is the perfect mixture of mile a minute sight gags (think in the tradition of the Airplane films…yet before they were created) and ’50’s sci-fi flicks where every conceivable animal or insect would mutate, grow to titanic proportions and menace mankind. It

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DanXIII

Feb 8, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: Victor Crowley is the Best of the Hatchet Series!

Victor Crowley, the deformed and bullied child that grew up to be a monstrous, murder lovin’ madman (and ghost to boot), is back stalking and slaying in his bayou home ten years after the events of Adam Green’s cult slasher favorite Hatchet (2006). Now ol’ V.C. isn’t the only familiar face back on the scene as paramedic, and lone survivor of previous bloodbaths, Andrew has returned to tell his side of events (and promote his new book about the gruesome goings-on) on his ex-wife’s talk show. Before long, Andrew is offered an ass load of money to return to the swamp and record an interview for a national television show…so our hero, a camera crew, and that aforementioned ex-wife traipse right into the lion’s den (after a plane crash that is) because unbeknownst to them, a trio of aspiring film makers (hoping to shoot a fake trailer to raise the scratch to make a film about Crowley) have inadvertently resurrected

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DanXIII

Feb 7, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Curse of the Witch’s Doll is an Old School Atmospheric Horror Show!

The longer time I spend in the horror biz, the more I see some truly ground breaking, heartfelt, monster masterpieces. Let’s see if Curse of The Witch’s Doll (or as it’s sometimes known The Witch’s Doll…or, and this one happens to be my favorite due to it’s sublime creativity, Conjuring the Witch’s Doll) is one of those… Curse of The Witch’s Doll in war torn 1940’s Europe, a Adeline and daughter seek shelter in a house deep in the woods. Everything would be fine and dandy for the duo except a seemingly living doll inhabits the dwelling as well, and after Adeline’s daughter goes missing after a rousing game of hide n’ seek, it’s up to our heroine to break a centuries old witch’s curse, find her daughter, and put that evil six feet under! Comprised of a more subtle and dramatic story line than you would expect, Curse of The Witch’s Doll is a bit of a pleasant surprise.

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DanXIII

Feb 6, 2018

DanXIII

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