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DanXIII

1,300 stories

Movie Review: Veronica is a Fun Supernatural Yarn

Veronica has got it rough all over; since her father died her mother has to work mega long hours leaving V-dawg in charge of her young siblings…when she isn’t attending classes at the local Catholic school that is. Speaking of that school, Veronica and two of her friends get the absolutely dip-shit idea to head down into the building’s basement during a solar eclipse to use a Ouija board to contact their dead loved ones. This goes about as well as one would expected and Veronica suffers some sort of physical episode. This leads to an outre presence making itself known at her home that threatens to destroy Veronica and her entire family. Will our young heroine be able to force those ghost back into whatever nether hell they emerged from, or will she lose herself to the darkness? Veronica is an interesting film for a number of reasons, and this may come a surprise given how familiar the story

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DanXIII

Mar 13, 2018

Movies

DVD Review: The Robot Chicken Walking Dead Special is Frightfully Funny!

Robot Chicken, those pop culture skewering puppets turn their goofy gaze upon gut munching soap opera The Walking Dead in the appropriately titled The Robot Chicken Walking Dead Special: Look Who’s Walking. Over the course we learn the true story of The Walking Dead as visitors to a TWD themed museum in the future are set straight by someone who knows the tale best (though they may want to do a special edition to change said character for…reasons). Anyway, when I say true-story I mean a series of short skits of varying levels of offensiveness (speaking of which, all of the F-bombs hat would be censored on Adult Swim are front and center here) and stupidity (the good kind, not the unbearable, obnoxious variety)…where most of the major storylines (as of October 2017) and characters are lampooned to admittedly hilarious effect…and there’s also a musical number or two as one does. Along with the twenty two minutes of non-stop laughs

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DanXIII

Mar 12, 2018

Movies

Move Review: The ‘Burbs is a Perfect Dark Satire of Suburbia!

Poor Ray Peterson (Tom Hanks), all he wants is a nice relaxing staycation but that just isn’t to be as a reclusive family named the Klopeks have moved into the dilapidated abode next door. This of course arouses the suspicions of his neighbors; mooching busy body Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun), paramilitary nut Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern), and teenage smart ass Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman), whom all become convinced the Klopeks are members of a Satanic murder cult. Much to the chagrin of Ray’s long suffering wife Carol (Carrie Fisher), the gang of goofs (with reluctant Ray in tow) actually begin to turn up evidence (nocturnal digging of what appears to be graves, skeletal remains) that the new neighbors may indeed be up to something sinister, and after a visit to their abode Ray becomes convinced as well. Before long all hell breaks loose as Ray and company go completely off the rails trying to prove their crackpot theories! Filled with

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DanXIII

Mar 11, 2018

Comic Books/Graphic NovelsIndieMoviesParanormal

Movie Review: Hell’s Kitty is a Disappointing Cameo Packed Horror Comedy

Struggling screen writer Nick has got a problem with pussy…namely his cat angel, a demonically possessed feline that attacks any woman that gets within ten feet of our hero. Desperate Nick tries any method possible (including sleeping with her on a bed strewn with rose petals, an exorcism, and a seance…same things really) to try and get his cat to stop maiming and mutilating the female of the species, but with little success…and to complicate matters the nasty hairball’s victims suffer a form of rotting disease. Will Nick ever be able to tame that wild beast and have a normal love life? Let’s start with the positives…I’m glad Hell’s Kitty was an hour and a half and not two hours. Also some of the make-up effects are descent, and the cameos (though forced) were entertaining enough and included the likes of legends such as Doug Jones (Hellboy, The Shape of Water), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Kelli Maroney (Night

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DanXIII

Mar 10, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Basket Case is the Greatest Grindhouse Creature Feature Ever Made!

Small-town boy Duane Bradley arrives in the sleazy and deranged hell on Earth more commonly known as ’80’s New York City with a strange basket in tow. What bring’s him to the Big Apple you may ask? Just your simple lust for revenge against the shady doctors that surgically removed his horrendously deformed twin brother Belial from his side years previous in a traumatic operation. You can just guess what’s in the damn basket, can’t ya? Before long, both doctors and the tenants of the run down apartment building the the brother’s call home alike begin to fall to the teeth and talons of Belial, who in turn becomes even more enraged by the romance that begins to bloom between Duane and the comely receptionist of one of the doctors they murder. The body count escalates as the relationship between the brothers begins to crumble… Basket Case is, in my opinion, the ultimate grindhouse creature feature; it’s sleazy (there’s that

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DanXIII

Mar 9, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies is a Gut Muncher Worth Sinking Your Teeth Into!

In order to eliminate the evasive kudzu vine, a team of scientists develop an experimental chemical that has one teeny, tiny drawback…it turns the citizens of Charleston, Mississippi into flesh hungry zombies! Before long a group of young friends find themselves under siege by the hungry hoards at a music festival (more on that in a bit)…a conflict that soon spills over into the streets of the town itself! Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies has some good things going for it; for starters the characters are actually extremely likable (and in some cases completely ridiculous like the guitar totin’ Mayor who is an absolute riot, and Johnny McPhail as Ben who steals every scene he is in), and no matter how over the top the blood, gore, and narrative get (and it does get bonkers A.F.) the protagonists help ground us…it’s a delicate, hard to pull off balance, and this flick does it well. Another heaping helpin’ of accolades

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DanXIII

Mar 8, 2018

DocumentariesIndieMoviesParanormal

Movie Review: The Flatwoods Monster: A Legacy of Fear is Creepy, Campfire Horror Story Cool!

Beginning as it does with an opening credits sequence that wouldn’t be out of place in any given ’50’s era alien invasion flick, The Flatwoods Monster: A Legacy of Fear spins a yarn jammed fat with flying saucers, putrid smelling monsters, and flesh melting fog…and the best part of it all is, this is believed by many to be a true story! The documentary begins by introducing us to the bucolic splendor of Braxton County West Virginia, and more supposedly the sleepy hamlet of Flatwoods…a town where you would likely find more tipped cows than space invaders (though West Virginia itself has been a hotbed of paranormal activity for ages, with the most prominent example being The Mothman), yet in 1952 the May family had an experience that blew that all to hell and back, as they witnessed a strange craft land and dispense an outre (perhaps mechanical) being that scared them shitless…as it would anyone. But the May family

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DanXIII

Mar 7, 2018

Movies

Movie Review: Scalpel is Tawdry and Ridiculous Fright Flick Fun!

Dr. Phillip Reynolds (Robert Lansing) is having a bit of shitty luck. His daughter, Heather (Judith Chapman) has run away from home after the somewhat questionable death of her boyfriend a year prior which has driven the Doc a tad bit off the rails. But, things seem to be coming up Reynolds as our “hero” has the good fortune to find a woman (a stripper by trade) with her face bashed to shit and back, so he drags her ass home, uses his plastic surgery skills (which are seemingly well over 9000), and makes her look exactly like the image of his long lost daughter. Ahh, finally he can be reunited with the one he loves…oh, and collect that big ass inheritance that was bequeathed to Heather…actually, he only cares about the cash… With that kind of material listed above, you’d think ol’ Scalpel would be some sort of grindhouse fodder (and there is sleazy material here, in particular the

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DanXIII

Mar 5, 2018

IndieMovies

Movie Review: Killing Joan is a Taut Revenge Thriller with a Twist!

Joan is a loose cannon (it’s all murder and menage a trois with this lady…and the occasional unfinished taco salad) mob enforcer that leads a small black-clad kill crew on all sorts of underworld escapades. This is all fine and dandy except that her unorthodox approach to the work at hand leads to her boss, Frank (David Carey Foster), to grow wary of her…which eventually leads to her being betrayed and left for dead by those she once killed for. Well, Joan doesn’t stay down for long as something soon brings her back from the brink of death and bestows upon her strange supernatural powers. Now our heroine can travel between and even control the shadows as she enacts her dark revenge…a revenge that may make her vulnerable to an evil greater than the mob. Killing Joan has a great premise; a mob enforcer resurrected with dark powers is the stuff of comic book awesome, and lead actress (and genre

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DanXIII

Mar 4, 2018

GamingMoviesNews

Volumes of Blood: Body Count Card Game Now Available!

Feast your putrid peepers on this gruesome gaming news; the folks behind the successful Volumes of Blood fright flick franchise have just announced that a card game based on their sin-ematic universe is now available! Here’s the official word: “From Blood Moon Pictures and Mythmaker Games comes the newest in table top terror. Take on the role of a horror film Director and use killers, locations, weapons and characters from the Volumes of Blood cinematic universe as you face off against your opponents to create a scene of carnage and build the largest body count. Volumes of Blood: Body Count is fun for the whole dysfunctional family.” If you want to get your paws and claws on a copy of the game, head right here, and tell ’em XIII sent ya!

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DanXIII

Mar 3, 2018

DanXIII

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