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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988) – Scream Factory 4k/Blu-ray Steelbook

After an absolute earworm banger of a theme song by punk outfit The Dickies, a big top from beyond the stars lands on Earth and dispenses monstrous alien clowns. Naturally it’s up to a gaggle of college kids to try and save the day by facing off against the bizarre creatures and their even more bizarre weapons (cotton candy guns, man eating shadow puppets, killer popcorn et. al.)! As if all of that monstrous madness wasn’t enough, our heroes are dogged constantly by the town’s egomaniacal cop, Officer Moonie (the legendary John Vernon, Animal House) who would be more than happy to lock our heroes up and you can bet your ass he does not believe their wild tales of grease-painted ghouls stalking the city streets! Can our heroes survive the night and send those ha-ha horrors packing, or will they be jailbirds before sun up? Surreal, hilarious, and filled to the rafters with over-the-top practical effects goodness; Killer Klowns

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DanXIII

May 12, 2024

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Deathdream (1974) – Blue Underground 4Kk/Blu-ray combo

Deathdream is the kind of flick that begins featuring the horrors of ‘Nam and the value of a man that can carve a roast all in equal measure (for the record, Roastmaster General’s son Andy is who we see buying the farm in Vietnam). Anyway, the family learns their son is dead and begins grieving… except later that night ol’ Andy comes home alive and…well alive anyway (after hitching a ride with a trucker who winds up dead after some high-larious antics at an all-night diner). Over the next few days Andy acts weird A.F.; he’s quiet, pale, and only offers a small smirk to anyone that talks to him…plus he picks up some new hobbies like wandering around cemeteries in the dead of night and simultaneously beating down androgynous kids who karate chop him with one hand while strangling a dog with the other (an underrated talent to be sure). Well, it turn out ol’ Awesome Andy is some

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DanXIII

May 11, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Black Mask (1996) – Eureka Blu-ray

Tsui Chik (Jet Li, the Once Upon a Time in China series, Lethal Weapon 4) is a librarian leading a low-key lifestyle… so much so, that you’d hardly guess he was a top-secret super-soldier. Speaking of that Captain America biz, his former unit was disbanded due to one of his comrades going completely apeshit and putting a murder on a cop which resulted in the entire organization being marked for extermination. Now, our hero managed to lead his teammates to safety, but years later it appears that his fellow super soldiers have gone on a gangland killing spree… and since these dudes are near invulnerable, the police are practically helpless in dealing with the sitch at hand. Tsui then does the only logical thing; he dresses up like Kato from The Green Hornet and proceeds to begin a quest to whip super-soldier ass under his secret superhero identity; the Black Mask! Director Daniel Lee’s (working from a screenplay by directors

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DanXIII

May 11, 2024

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Ring Collection – Scream Factory 4k/Blu-ray combo

A cursed videotape leads to supernatural shenanigans and wacky well-walkin’. I could be talking about Hideo Nakata’s 1998 influential J-Horror masterpiece Ringu… and while we will surely get back to Nakata soon enough, today we’ll be focusing our outre eye-balls on Gore Verbinski’s (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl and two of it’s sequels) 2002 Hollywood re-make, and it’s sequels, all of which are included in Scream Factory’s new 4k/Blu-ray combo box-set; The Ring Collection… like, what else did you think they would call it?!! Anyway, The Ring… Seattle-based investigative journalist Rachael (Naomi Watts) gets herself one hell of a mystery to solve after she’s asked to check into the circumstances that led to her niece’s bizarre demise. It’s a long and winding road to the truth… a truth that involves the decades old murder of a child with psychic abilities… and that child, Samara (Daveigh Chase) is thirsty for revenge from beyond the grave which

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DanXIII

May 8, 2024

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Joysticks (1983) – MVD Rewind Blu-ray

Director Greydon Clark’s (Without Warning) arcade-centric sex comedy begins the only way it could, with a rocking song about both video games and jerking off simultaneously, before introducing a cast of characters you will surely recognize; we have the nerd, Eugene (Grease 2’s Leif Green), the latest employee to begin work at River City’s only arcade managed by popular, sexed-up, wise-ass Jefferson Bailey (Scott McGinnis) and featuring clientele that includes overweight slob/Bluto from Animal House surrogate Dorfus (Jim Greenleaf) along with a Franciscan Monk, a clone of Curly from The Three Stooges, as well as punk rock psycho/video game addict King Vidiot (The Monster Squad and Fright Night Part Two’s Jon Gries) and his appropriately named gang of female followers, The Vidiots… but we’ll get back to him… Anyway, that arcade, a true hot bed of fun and horniness, is also the favorite hang-out of Patsy Rutter (Corinne Bohrer), valley girl daughter of local tight-ass businessman Joseph Rutter (Joe Don

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DanXIII

Apr 27, 2024

DocumentariesMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Goodbye Uncle Tom (1971) – Blue Underground 4K

Goodbye Uncle Tom, the subject of today’s revoltin’ review, is brought to us by the demented documentarians Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi… the men behind legendary Italian doc Mondo Cane, who just so happened to have faced accusations of racisim after 1966’s Africa Addio (which detailed the continent’s decolonization). What did the duo do to set the record straight? Make a Mondo documentary all about slavery in America… I’m sure absolutely nothing will go wrong here… In a move as baffling as it is jaw-dropping, Jacopetti and Prosperi seemingly travel back in time and arrive on a Southern Plantation via helicopter after we hear a little history lesson on race relations in the U.S. (and a piece on hippies because it gets more naked bodies on screen)… don’t worry, it gets weirder, more wrong, and absolutely unhinged… Once there they are treated to a fancy dinner in their honor, during which we see (and hear) historical figures espouse their feelings

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DanXIII

Apr 27, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981) – Severin 4K/Blu-ray combo

High school senior Billy (Jimmy McNichol) has been raised by his Aunt Cheryl (an absolutely dynamite Susan Tyrrell, Angel and it’s sequel Avenging Angel) since the death of his parents in an automobile accident… and let me just say, that particular incident is portrayed as some Final Destination-level shit, and with each passing frame the tragedy becomes side-splitting comedy as the film engages in the largest example of overkill you are ever likely to see! Any how Cheryl is psychotically possessive of Billy-boy… actually she’s just plain psychotic… and horny, an award-losing combination that results in her stabbing (and killing) a television repairman, Phil Brody (Caskey Swaim) by name, who refuses her amorous advances. Her excuse was that he was attempting to sexually assault her… a huge-ass lie that is soon proven to be absolute bullshit by the revelation that Brody was a homosexual. That particular factoid is uncovered by hard-ass bigot/extreme homophobe Detective Joe Carlson (Bo Svenson, Walking Tall,

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DanXIII

Apr 27, 2024

IndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Movie Review: Cathy’s Curse (1977) – Severin 4K/Blu-ray combo

Years past, a man and his daughter experience a fatal auto accident after the man’s wife hauled ass with the couple’s son George. It is then that we get down to the meat n’ poutine of Eddy Matalon’s Canadian-lensed supernatural shocker Cathy’s Curse, as a grown-ass George (Alan Scarfe) returns to the family home with his wife, Vivian (Beverly Murray and her awesome eyes) and daughter Cathy (Randi Allen in her only film role), after Viv suffers a nervous breakdown. Offering assistance are handyman Paul (Roy Witham, who appears to be one highball away from starring in a Mick Fleetwood biopic) and maid Mary (Dorothy Davis)… and the family will need it as Cathy begins acting downright strange after finding a creepy doll in the domicile’s attic. To wit; Cathy begins to show signs that she is possessed by the spirit of George’s deceased sister… like making naked statues explode, controlling objects through telekinesis, making animals do her bidding, killing

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DanXIII

Apr 25, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviewsTrailers

Movie Review: The Devil’s Honey (1986) – Severin 4K/Blu-ray combo

Our gal pal Jessica (Blanca Marsillach) spends her days getting’ her bean flicked courtesy of her saxophone player boyfriend Johnny’s (Stefano Madia) horny horn playing within the walls of his recording studio, as is the way. Meanwhile, hot-shit surgeon Dr. Wendell Simpson (Return of the Fly’s Brett Halsey) is stuck in a right shit of a marriage with his wife, Carol (Corinne Cléry, Yor: The Hunter from the Future, Moonraker)… a marriage that sees the dashing doc getting’ it on with prostitutes a-plenty, which shockingly drives Carol away. How do these incidents intertwine you may (or may not) ask? Well, after Johnny dies on Simpson’s operating table after a motorcycle accident near the Doc’s domicile, Jessica decides to take a stroll down Revenge Road and begins harassing Simpson like it’s her fuckin’ job… and soon she has the doctor chained up in her deceased beau’s majestic mansion! Will vigilante justice be sexually served, or does lust have other plans for

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DanXIII

Apr 23, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Great Alligator (1979) – Severin 4K/Blu-ray combo

Hot-shit photog Daniel (Claudio Cassinelli, who you may recall was Zeus in Luigi (Starcrash) Cozzi’s mid-’80s Hercules pictures, but was also in The Island of the Fishmen from this film’s director, Sergio (2019: After the Fall of New York) Martino) is hired by a resort mogul (Mel Ferrer, Umberto Lenzi’s Nightmare City) to snap publicity pics to advertise his new jungle-set, disco-tastic vacay hot spot, Paradise House, along with his model/muse Sheena (Geneve Hutton). Once there, he meets anthropologist Alice (Barbara Bach, also from The Island of the Fishmen, but perhaps best known for her turns in 1977’s James Bond flick The Spy Who Loved Me, and 1981’s prehistoric romp, Caveman, co-staring her hubs Ringo Starr) who fills our main man Dan in on the deets concerning the Kuma tribe, the indigenous people of the region who are paid in American blue jeans to huck dynamite at trees to clear land for further expansion… oh and their god is able

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DanXIII

Apr 20, 2024

DanXIII

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