Author

DanXIII

1,295 stories

Movie Review: Tormented (1960) – Film Masters Blu-ray

Apparent chick magnet Tom Stewart (Richard Carlson, The Creature From the Black Lagoon) is a jazz musician who just got a slight crimp in his plans to marry his fiancée Meg Hubbard (Lugene Sanders) in the form of jealous ex-lover Vi (Juli Reding), who shows up at a lighthouse next to Tom’s Cape Cod residence and informs his ass there is no way she is letting him get hitched. Things start coming up Tom when Vi falls to her death from the lighthouse, and although he could easily save her life Tom watches her plummet to the icy waters below. Well, problem fuckin’ solved I guess… Of course Tom’s shitty ways soon catch up with him, as the preternatural goings-on begin to mount, which isn’t helped much by the lore spun by the locals that only accentuates the supernatural shenanigans experienced by our hero… unnatural events that leads one to believe Vi is back from the dead and ready to

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 5, 2024

AdaptationBooksComic Books/Graphic NovelsIndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: The Guyver (1991) – Unearthed 4K/Blu-ray/CD combo

So dig this; in prehistoric times aliens visited the Earth and created mankind along with a race of monstrous mutants named Zoanoids. They also created a way of destroying the Zoanoids called a Guyver unit; a suit of bio-mechanic armor that encases it’s user from head to toe and gives them amazing ability as well as deadly weaponry. We learn this via on screen text before we cut to a scientist named Dr. Tetsu Segawa (Greg Joung Paik) haulin’ ass away from the Chronos Corporation, pilfered items in tow… items he hides before turning into a fish monster and battling Chronos’ security goons, who’s ranks include Jimmy “JJ” Walker (from beloved ’70s television sitcom Good Times… and yes, he says “Dy-no-mite” in the film at least once, and raps throughout) and The Hills Have Eyes‘ Michael Berryman. As if it isn’t strange enough, Berryman’s character Lisker… in truth a Zoanoid, as are all the Chronos cronies… turns into a monster

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 5, 2024

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Homework (1982) – Unearthed Films Blu-ray

Homework begins the only way it could, with perpetually horny teen/aspiring rock star Tommy (Michael Morgan) shirking math problems to dream about an adult magazine photoshoot while some sort of New York Dolls pastiche plays in the background before the whole affair ends on a ridiculous freeze frame. After being a creeper and spying on the girl’s locker room, and ogling the new French teacher the school shrink confirms Tommy is horny… well, now it’s official… Anyway, before long Tommy begins recruiting his friends into filling slots on his Jukebox Hero dreams, but they have business of their own to contend with; for example his gal pal Sheila would rather pursue her pro swimmer aspirations, and his best friend Ralph (Lanny Horn) is preoccupied with that aforementioned teacher… although his pals Mix (Mark Brown) and Cookie (Renee Harris) are into it hardcore, even if Cookie’s strict father (Bill Knight) isn’t. To be fair, they have a hell of a draw

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 4, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Crocodile (1979) – Synapse Blu-ray

After a series of freak un-natural disasters pound coastal Thailand to absolute shit, a giant crocodile crawls from fuck knows where and begins eating the various citizenry of water-side towns. Enter: Dr. Tony Akom (Nard Poowanai) and his pal John (Min Oo); two dudes who’s spouses… and in one case daughter… are devoured by that toothsome terror which sets the men on a little mission to put the hurt on that scaly fucker but good! To that end they enlist the help of grizzled sailor/possible early ’80s NYC LeatherDaddy Tanaka (Kirk Warren) and before you can say “Amity Island” the group (eventually joined by a Third Act comedy relief photographer character) begin the hunt to end the monster before he eats even more people… good luck fellas! Crocodile had me hooked right from the beginning with an impressive depiction of nearly supernatural storms and their destructive powers realized through sweet miniature work, tank effects, and animated lightning strikes… I eat

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 4, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Blood and Snow (2023) – Cleopatra DVD

Check this one out cats n’ creeps… A meteor crashes in the artic that harbors an alien force… a force that can mimic human beings and is hell bent on bringing all sorts of space madness to a group of isolated scientists at a remote, snowbound facility. I know what you are thinking, this has to be an uncredited adaptation of 1938 John W. Campbell Jr. novella Who Goes There?… well it’s certainly that whether it admits it or not, but the more obvious inspiration to fright fans would be John Carpenters’ 1982 masterpiece, The Thing, an adaptation of the same (and itself a re-imagining of the 1951 Howard Hawkes version of Campbell’s tale The Thing From Another World). So yeah, we got a derivative tale here, which can be perfectly fine if something new and exciting is done with the material… but unfortunately Jesse Palangio’s Blood and Snow is absolutely power slammed by it’s budget making it impossible to

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 4, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviews

Movie Review: The Crippled Masters (1979) – Film Masters Blu-ray

This is going to be a Grade-A fuckin’ nuts… Just by looking at that title up there you can tell if this is for you… and if you will be offended by it, which admittedly I’m sure there’s something here to displease most… also this is (probably) the first review where I have to emphatically state that I am not a doctor, so I’ll have to describe… oh fuck this, here we go! So 1979’s The Crippled Masters begins the way it should, with our main men strutting their bizarre, yet impressive stuff under the opening credits. Here we see Lee Ho (Frankie Shum), a man with but one arm… but it’s incredibly small and contains only a few fingers… and let me tell you, this fella is dynamite with a bow staff. We also meet Tang (Jackie Conn), a dude with emaciated legs that, and I shit you not, launches himself from a skateboard to land backwards on Lee’s

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 4, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Sting (2024) – Well Go USA Blu-ray

A diminutive comet hurtles through the steel-gray New York City winter sky before crash landing in an apartment building (where it comes to rest in a dollhouse) where it promptly cracks open revealing it was an egg containing a small spider… a spider that is found by a young girl named Charlotte (Alyla Browne). Charlotte takes her new pet home… to the apartment she shares with her mother, Heather (Penelope Mitchell), infant sibling, Liam, and building superintendent/comic book artist step-father Ethan (Ryan Corr)… and names her new friend Sting. So, space-spider Sting is actually super smart as well, which would be fine and dandy if she didn’t apply that insidious intelligence to facilitate feeding on the dwelling’s residents (as well as any exterminator stupid enough to get in her way)… oh and she’s growing… and growing… So much so, that things look rather dire for those that call the building home! Coming from Writer/Director Kiah Roache-Turner (who brought us the

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 3, 2024

AdaptationBooksForeignIndieMoviesReviewsStreaming TVThriller

Movie/Show Reviews: Severin’s New Sherlock Holmes Releases (1962/1968) – Blu-ray

Coming your way from our fiendish friends at Severin are a duo of Blu-ray releases featuring legendary literary Detective, Sherlock Holmes!First up comes 1962’s Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace: Who do you call when Cleopatra’s priceless necklace turns up missing? Well, the Egyptian authorities should be number one I guess, but freakin’ Sherlock Holmes is definitely probably on that list somewhere… As fate would have it, Holmes (Sir Christopher Lee… I’m sure everyone knows this legend, but just in case think Hammer Films’ Dracula flicks) is indeed called in, along with Dr. Watson (Thorley Walters) and the two quickly begin their famous sleuthin’ bag. Before long the trail leads to the infamous Dr. Moriarty (Hans Söhnker), who has set-up sinister shop under the guise of being a respectable archaeologist, which will definitely screw up Holmes’ investigation six ways to Sunday! Directed by Hammer mainstay Terence Fisher (who just so happened to direct a few of those aforementioned Dracula pictures

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 3, 2024

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Child’s Play (2019) – Scream Factory 4K/Blu-ray combo

Young mother Karen (Aubrey Plaza) has it tough all over. She’s moved to the city with her son Andy (Gabriel Bateman) who is having a shit of a time adjusting to his new environs, she has a rather shitty boyfriend, and her department store job is a real drag… so a bummer convention through and through. What is the hottest selling item at the store ol’ K-dawg toils away at I don’t hear you ask? Why the Buddi doll of course, a robotic best friend for children that our heroine manages to snag for free after blackmailing a member of the returns department. Of course, Karen has no idea that this particular Buddi doll, Chucky by name, has had each and every safety protocol removed from it’s circuits by a disgruntled worker before he splats himself into the street pizza Hall of Fame. After a bit of disinterest, Andy grows to really enjoy Chucky’s company, and even manages to befriend

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jul 1, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Arena Wars (2024)

In the very near future, everyone is absolutely balls deep into Arena Wars; the game show where convicts can earn their freedom if they survive the onslaught of a ghoulish gaggle of murderous madmen (and women)… well at least they used to be into it, but the contest has been one sided… what with those sinister stalkers being armed to the nines and all… for so long that things are getting a bit long in the tooth. Enter: Luke Bender (John Wells), an ex-marine serving a totally rational 200 year sentence for a crime he had nothing to do with after all, which gives him plenty of motivation to win this particular contest of champions, so before you can say Bachman Books we’re off and runnin’, man! Now of course comparisons between this film’s narrative, and Arnie’s 1987 masterpiece (and by association Stephen King’s 1982 novel of the same name written under his Richard Bachman pen-name) are going to be

Continue reading →

DanXIII

Jun 30, 2024

DanXIII

More from DanXIII