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DanXIII

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Movie Review: Exhuma (2024) – Well Go USA Blu-ray

Lee Hwa-rim (Kim Go-eun) and Yoon Bong-gil (Lee Do-hyun) are a shaman duo that offers their services to those that are plagued by the vengeful spirits of deceased family members… like the one plaguing the wealthy Park family, and let me tell ya, this one’s a fuckin’ doozy of a creepy case. So complex is the job, that our heroes call in the help of geomancer Kim Sang-deok (Choi Min-sik) and his coroner partner Go Yeong-geun (Yoo Hae-jin) to assist in the exhumation of the relative’s coffin via a traditional ceremony after which the coffin and remains will be cremated. No matter how seasoned our shamans are, things go tits up with the quickness once a rain delay keeps that corpse from getting crispy (can’t burn ’em on a soggy day… bad luck) and of course some ass just has to go and open the coffin setting the evill spirit free to go on a supernatural bender that spells bad

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DanXIII

Sep 28, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: The Million Eyes of Sumuru (1967) – Blue Underground 4K/Blu-ray Combo

Sumuru (Goldfinger‘s Shirley Eaton) is one deadly woman, she’s also a near-comic book styled super-villain hell bent on replacing the powerful male leaders of the world of the Swinging Sixties with her cadre of her murderous all-girl army, members of whom kill men with their thighs for kicks! One such attempt of Sumuru’s evil plan leads to a threat being made on the life of the leader of Sinonesia, President Boong (played by noted lunatic Klaus Fuckin’ Kinski) which results in horny C.I.A. operatives Nick West (George Nader) and Tommy Carter (Frankie Avalon sans beach, blanket, and bingo) being called in to investigate by by the head of British Intelligence, Sir Anthony Baisbrook (Wilfrid Hyde-White, whom you may remember from the original Battlestar Galactica, or that Star Trek-ass second season of Buck Rogers). Our (occasionally) hammered heroes are hot on the case and travel from Europe to Hong Kong where they are soon up to their asses in the machinations

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DanXIII

Sep 28, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Intensely Independent: The Micro-Budget Films of Blake Eckard – Synapse DVD

Intensely Independent: The Micro-Budget Films of Blake Eckard could easily be titled Fucked-Up Families… but then you wouldn’t know what you are buying exactly… but it would be apt regardless… Things kick off with 2011’s Bubba Moon Face… The ironically named Horton Bucks (Tyler Messner) is a penniless mother fucker who blows back into his hometown due to his mother’s demise… and there he’ll stay since he can’t afford repairs for his junky jalopy… and he’ll be staying at his brother Stanton’s (Joe Hammerstone) house located in the woods because hotel rooms cost money… it’s a complete ouroboros really… Now these two aren’t great at funeral planning, which results in the day ending at a local watering-hole where Horton encounters his (formerly jail-bait) ex… drinks and mistakes ensue, Hunter wakes up with a new baby… supposedly Stanton’s conceived with a woman named Sabetha (Sylvia Geiger) who wants absolutely zero to do with the kid… apparently neither does Stanton as he

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DanXIII

Sep 26, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Beast Fighter: Karate Bullfighter (1975)/Karate Bearfighter (1975) – Eureka! Blu-ray

Picture it, Kyoto, 1949. A ratty hermit enters a renowned Karate tournament held by Japan’s Karate masters and absolutely sweeps the event due to his mastery of “real” Karate, as opposed to the showier style of his peers. That man, Masutatsu Oyama (played by action master Sonny Chiba, 1974’s Street Fighter series of films from Toei, who also produced this picture) was a real-life, Korean born Karate master that not only had a true passion for murdering bulls with his bare-hands, but also was Chiba’s sensei… but this film is based more on Karate Baka Ichidai, the manga-version of Oyama’s life (created by Ikki Kajiwara, Jirô Tsunoda, and Jôya Kagemaru, here adapted by screenwriter Norifumi Suzuki) than the actual events, which thankfully means less bull deaths are involved… but I’m getting ahead of myself… Oyama’s victory means jack shit to him (because it was against inferior Karate remember) and after a show of strength and ability against a gaggle of

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DanXIII

Sep 11, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Flesh of the Unforgiven (2024)

Author-type Jack Russo (writer/director Joe Hollow) has got it tough all over… he’s got writer’s block like a mother fucker, and his marriage to his wife, Sienna (legendary Scream Queen Debbie Rochon), has seen better days. So, to try and get their life and Jack’s work back on point, the couple schlep out to a remote cabin which goes South rather quickly once Jack checks out a mysterious videotape he receives in the mail. Said VHS is some real Videodrome (the show within the movie) type shit… all sexual violence and murder biz, which repulses our hero before becoming an object of fascination that leads to Jack entering a demonic fugue state. Sienna falls sway to the dark influence as well, and soon their paths cross with a woman named Vivienne (August Kyss), who just so happens to have had major family problems that leads to a Faustian deal with an entity known as the Death Dealer that may spell

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DanXIII

Sep 11, 2024

ForeignMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: High Crime (1973) – Blue Underground 4K/Blu-ray/CD combo

After losing the chief suspect in an extensive drug deal (following an absolutely batshit chase sequence that begins with a footrace and ends with a real bang… but more on that later), hot-headed and hard-assed Police Vice-Commissioner Belli (Franco Nero, 1966’s Django) tries to deduce who the new player in Gangland is… a player that does as they please without honor. Additionally the idea of upstart rivals for his business goes over like a fart in a submarine with old school mob boss Cafiero (Fernando Rey, The French Connection), but it’s only a matter of time before there’s a full on Mafia war going on all over town with gangsters getting offed left and right… in increasingly violent fashion. While the bad guy body-count rises, Belli continues to butt heads with his boss, Chief Commissioner Aldo Scavino (James Whitmore, The Shawshank Redemption) while caring for his young daughter, Anita (Stefania Girolami Goodwin, daughter of the picture’s director Enzo G. Castellari)

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DanXIII

Aug 15, 2024

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Cocaine Werewolf (2024) – Cleopatra Blu-ray

A lil’ disclaimer before we start… I have worked with at least 3 people (after seeing the credits it’s more) that are in or have worked on this film on projects of my own. It won’t influence my review, but if that turns you off and you skip this review, I get it. Moving on… Cocaine Werewolf begins the only way it could, with a lady propositioning a werewolf for sex… oral sex no less… oh, and it’s a case of mistaken identity. After that the werewolf interrupts some drug cartel biz, before putting the bite on a stranded stock broker named Jack (Brice Kennedy) who examines the aftermath and is delighted to find multiple bags of cocaine. Said businessman then transforms into another werewolf… but a werewolf with a drug habit… a habit which allows him to transform anytime he takes a snort in human form. Now a regular werewolf is one thing to contend with, but one that

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DanXIII

Aug 13, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsSci-Fi

Movie Review: Terror Firma (2023) – MVD Blu-ray

Lola (Faye Tamasa) has arrived in a suburb of Los Angeles to stay with her brother, Louis (Burt Thakur). Seems prosaic enough, but there are a few hiccups. For one, Los Angeles is pretty much closed for business due to a mysterious governmental mandate which enforces folks staying within the confines of their homes… which is odd, but doesn’t hold a candle to the strangeness of Louis roommate, a man known as Cage (Robert Brettenaugh)… a kind of New Age observer of the human condition with next to zero social skills… additionally, he’s a pervert… a big one. Soon, shipments of food arrive along with an unmarked packet of strange seeds which Lola plants in the backyard which results in a hole appearing in the ground filled with a blood-like substance that tastes exactly like whatever the taster finds delicious… so naturally our heroes down that shit like shots, which results in some rather nasty crimson-hued hallucinations involving mysterious holes…

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DanXIII

Aug 13, 2024

ForeignIndieMoviesParanormalReviews

Movie Review: Demons and Demons 2 – Synapse 4K

Somethin’ monstrous is going down at the Metropol, a renovated theater holding a screening of a fright film involving a curse and the body of Nostradamus, and Cheryl (Natasha Hovey) and Kathy (Paola Cozzo) get caught up in the mask-based mayhem right quick! See the picture in question features a mask… a mask worn by a mysterious man (Michele Soavi, who directed 1989’s The Church, which was intended to be Demons 3) handing out tickets to the film in the “real world”, and the very same mask that scratches the hand of local prostitute/cinema enthusiast Rosemary (Rats: Night of Terror‘s Geretta Geretta) delivering some sort of bizarre infection that turns her into a pus-spewing, sharp-toothed demon… and she wastes no time infecting others! Soon Cheryl and company are up to their popcorn in murderous monsters, and the infection may soon spread to the city beyond! Directed and co-written by Lamberto Bava (along with co-writers Dario Argento (who also produced), Dardano

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DanXIII

Aug 13, 2024

IndieMoviesReviewsThriller

Movie Review: Death Bitch (2024)

Well the property values in ol’ South Bay are likely to go completely “tits up” as real estate agents surely (do not) say. Why you ask? Probably a bit of a side effect of having two murderers runnin’ rampant in the streets… but who knows, businesses have possibly left the area… dammit, now I’m trying to support my made-up premise… about the property values, not the murders… those are definitely going the fuck on! The two causes of the murderous mayhem are the appropriately named South Bay Slasher (Lawrence Waller) a real lady-killer… literally… the other, a female vigilante hell bent on skipping the whole middleman of “the Law” and going straight to capital punishment… but admittedly she has a reason for her actions… not that it justifies them… but c’mon, dig this: Alexis Walker (Linnea Swanson) is your average, everyday type of gal… she’s got a job, she’s a bit introverted, and, as is the way, her family was

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DanXIII

Aug 13, 2024

DanXIII

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