Movie Review: Bermuda Island (2023)
After a lil’ shooty-shooty; a team of FBI agents capture arms dealin’ dastardly devil Diego (Noel Gugliemi) and proceed to load him on a civilian-packed plane headed down Puerto Rico-way… regardless of the threat of a major incoming storm and the chagrin of Air Marshall Jonas (Natural Born Killers’ Tom Sizemore). Naturally the plane experiences a patch of turbulence that sends the craft hurtling towards the ocean… more specifically the preternatural dead zone known as the Bermuda Triangle! Our heroes soon make it to an island where everything is puppies and rainbows… or cannibal monsters and a long-lived survivor to be more accurate… but will these folks ever stop bitchin’ long enough to face the threats at hand?!! Coming from Mahal Empire Productions; I expected Bermuda Island to be an action-packed, monster-filled, gore-splashed, rollickin’ romp… and it sure as shit was… so, I win! End of review. Okay, okay… here’s some more of my wicked words (by unpopular demand!)… Director
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