CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,432 stories
IndieMoviesReviews
Richie-rich Steffen (Jake Red) gets the shit-hot idea to take his pals Doc (Danni Spring), Abby (Cody Renee Cameron), Rosie (Kyle Anderson), Rick (Arhtur Marroquin), and Josie (KateLynn E. Newberry) on a whistle-stop tour tour through a junky A.F. TV studio his pappy, Richard (the legendary Bill Moseley of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Devil’s Rejects fame), has just bought lock, stock, and beastly barrel (with the idea of turning it into a fancy-ass nightclub). As fate and horror biz tropes would have it, that studio has one of those dark pasts that are so popular with the kids these days, as it once was the home to ventriloquist Mr. Jolly (the equally legendary Bill Oberst Jr. who has starred in a literal shit-ton of fright flicks, and was recently seen in Rob Zombie’s 3 From Hell), his dummy Handy Dandy (Jake LaMarca on vocal duties), and their children’s program… a program who’s prepubescent studio audience keeps turning up
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MoviesReviews
Super-horny famous novelist Sian Anderson (genre legend Meg Foster, she of Carpenter’s They Live, and Masters of the Universe to name but two) is ready to wing her way to Greece to finish her latest murder mystery novel. Once there she is shown her lodgings by pompous British windbag Elias Appleby (portrayed by a scene stealing Robert Morley), warned of the islands wind situation (spoiler: It ain’t great), and introduced to the villas deranged handyman Phil (portrayed by an equally scene stealing Wings Hauser). So, long story short; our heroine witnesses Phil possibly putting a murder on Appleby and soon she must not only deal with the forces of nature battering her left and right, but with ol’ Phil deciding to do a stalk n’ slay routine on her. Yeah, she’s not going to get much writing done… The Wind is a surprisingly fantastic entry in the rather over-crowded genre of ’80’s slasher flicks… and that has nothing to do
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Ever go looking for your missing sister in Greece only to have your life fucked up six ways to Sunday by a sea monster that can only be appeased by the blood of virgins? Sure, we all have… and so has Neil (The Karate Kid‘s Martin Kove) who has come to that beautiful island along with his wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) to track down his sis Madeline (Deborah Shelton) who has pulled a vanishing act. Once there they encounter miserable ol’ bastard Nereus (José Ferrer), as well as treasure hunter Frye (the legendary James Earl Jones cuttin’ himself a big ol’ slice of ham), over-sexed space-case Barbara (Lydia Cornell who starred in the Cosmic Cow vehicle Too Close for Comfort on the ol’ boob tube)… and his sister (also a space case)… wait, that’s it, less than fifteen minutes in and it’s “mystery solved?” Obviously there’s more to this terror tale, and as you may have ascertained from my
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”
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ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Matvey (Aleksander Kuznetsov) is dating aspiring actress Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), and holy fuck does she have some Kong-sized daddy issues… like she wants the Ben Grimm lookin’ mother fucker named Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) to take a permanent dirt nap for the rather unpleasant crimes he allegedly committed against her when she was young. While the claims of Olya are suspect at best, ol’ Andrey is guilty of plenty of other crimes… crimes made easy given his status as a cop… a cop with an equally corrupt partner… and the duo have a wild hair up their collective asses about some dough they were screwed out of. So over comes ol’ Romeo Matvey with a hammer to kill Big A in his own apartment… small problem, Andrey is near indestructible, and Matvey seems to be as well… what follows is an explosive blast of cartoony, unbelievably violent, and oft times bloody confrontations within the small apartment that hasn’t been seen on
Continue reading →
Reviews
Something seems hidden below the surface of the young teenage title character in Becky. Alas, quite a bit also seems hidden from viewers — though that is certainly not the case in the gore department — in this horror thriller that sees a dating pair of single parents and their children rudely interrupted (to put it mildly) by a quartet of neo-Nazis who have just escaped from prison. Lulu Wilson (Anabelle: Creation, Ouija: Origin of Evil, and The Haunting of Hill House series) stars as 13-year-old Becky, who is still mourning the death of her mother and is angry at her father Jeff (Joel McHale of Deliver Us from Evil and the Community comedy series) for, among other things, inviting his new girlfriend Kayla (Amanda Brugel of the Snowpiercer and The Handmaid’s Tale series) and her young son Ty (Isaiah Rockcliffe, also of The Handmaid’s Tale series) to what Becky thought was going to be a weekend alone with her
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IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Chris Cleek (Sean Bridgers) has the goddamned life what with being a successful lawyer and family man and all… but one bad decision could bring all that to a full fuckin’ stop believe you me! What sort of decision would that be I can just hear you lot ask with baited breath? Well, let me tell you; taking home a near-feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) that you discovered on a hunting trip and imprisoning her in your cellar in an attempt to make her civilized would definitely fit the bill… and that’s exactly what Chris does. To his credit, he tells his family of his intentions… much to the chagrin of his wife Belle (Angela Bettis)… but his methods to break her will are a tad (read: absolutely fuckin’ off-the-charts) misogynistic and oh-so-very wrong as-all-fuck. As you can imagine “the woman” doesn’t cotton to this for the long term and soon she begins to fight back against her forced “training”… and
Continue reading →
MoviesNewsReviews
It’s rare these days to see a sequel outshine its predecessor, but that is the case with director William Brent Bell’s Brahms: The Boy II. The first movie introduces a nanny hired to babysit a doll. She eventually discovers after witnessing what she thinks is a possessed doll that there is a man living within the walls of the manor. The Boy II expands on the doll’s history. It centers on a couple (Katie Holmes and Owain Yeoman) and their young son Jude (Christopher Convery) who move into the guest house on the property of the manor from the first film. Due to the trauma caused by a home invasion, their son has stopped talking. While exploring the property Jude discovers a doll buried in the dirt, the infamous Brahms. Soon Katie Holme’s Liza begins to believe that the doll is not only a bad influence on her son, but that Brams may very well be possessed. I was surprised
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Man, ol’ John Blakely (Oliver Robins of Poltergeist fame… who incidentally directed and wrote this here bad bitch) has it tough as he has to live life being well-known for starring in a stalk n’ slay flick, Chain Face Clown by name, as a terror tyke, being asked to sign things like blu-rays and such, and using his fame to try and use his celeb status to get hot n’ horny with the dames. Well, that last one kinda backfires when Johnny B. does the sexual fuckings with Emily (Alissa Schneider) who turns out to be his greatest fan… and by “greatest” I mean “murderously obsessive“. This equals some really fuckin’ bad news for anyone that attempts to get in the way of the imaginary thing she and J-Dawg have percolatin’, and will make it a tad dicey for our hero to (attempt) escape from the clutches of this lascivious lunatic! The monstrous meat and putrid potatoes of Celebrity Crush
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Look man, Australia is hot as all fuck, and full of animals that doubtless would enjoy eating your freakin’ face off. Into that paradise strides Americans Lisa (Lauren Lofsberg) and Wade (Tyler Wiese), two lovebirds on the skids to partake on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway, but is instead a strained mess thanks to Lisa turning down Wade’s marriage proposal at the airport at journey’s start. Speaking of personal problems, soon our in-way-over-their-heads heroes are stranded in the vastness of the Outback (home to venomous snakes, scorpions, and some sky-high temperatures… all of which the duo must face) where the survival of their asses supersedes the survival of their relationship… which is hard to maintain once you are dead. Co-writer (along with Brien Kelly)/director Mike Green deliver a taut, suspenseful narrative (based on an urban legend no less) with Outback that’s impressive both in it’s presentation of the Outback as a malevolent character in and of itself…
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
IndieMoviesReviews
Richie-rich Steffen (Jake Red) gets the shit-hot idea to take his pals Doc (Danni Spring), Abby (Cody Renee Cameron), Rosie (Kyle Anderson), Rick (Arhtur Marroquin), and Josie (KateLynn E. Newberry) on a whistle-stop tour tour through a junky A.F. TV studio his pappy, Richard (the legendary Bill Moseley of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Devil’s Rejects fame), has just bought lock, stock, and beastly barrel (with the idea of turning it into a fancy-ass nightclub). As fate and horror biz tropes would have it, that studio has one of those dark pasts that are so popular with the kids these days, as it once was the home to ventriloquist Mr. Jolly (the equally legendary Bill Oberst Jr. who has starred in a literal shit-ton of fright flicks, and was recently seen in Rob Zombie’s 3 From Hell), his dummy Handy Dandy (Jake LaMarca on vocal duties), and their children’s program… a program who’s prepubescent studio audience keeps turning up
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Super-horny famous novelist Sian Anderson (genre legend Meg Foster, she of Carpenter’s They Live, and Masters of the Universe to name but two) is ready to wing her way to Greece to finish her latest murder mystery novel. Once there she is shown her lodgings by pompous British windbag Elias Appleby (portrayed by a scene stealing Robert Morley), warned of the islands wind situation (spoiler: It ain’t great), and introduced to the villas deranged handyman Phil (portrayed by an equally scene stealing Wings Hauser). So, long story short; our heroine witnesses Phil possibly putting a murder on Appleby and soon she must not only deal with the forces of nature battering her left and right, but with ol’ Phil deciding to do a stalk n’ slay routine on her. Yeah, she’s not going to get much writing done… The Wind is a surprisingly fantastic entry in the rather over-crowded genre of ’80’s slasher flicks… and that has nothing to do
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Ever go looking for your missing sister in Greece only to have your life fucked up six ways to Sunday by a sea monster that can only be appeased by the blood of virgins? Sure, we all have… and so has Neil (The Karate Kid‘s Martin Kove) who has come to that beautiful island along with his wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) to track down his sis Madeline (Deborah Shelton) who has pulled a vanishing act. Once there they encounter miserable ol’ bastard Nereus (José Ferrer), as well as treasure hunter Frye (the legendary James Earl Jones cuttin’ himself a big ol’ slice of ham), over-sexed space-case Barbara (Lydia Cornell who starred in the Cosmic Cow vehicle Too Close for Comfort on the ol’ boob tube)… and his sister (also a space case)… wait, that’s it, less than fifteen minutes in and it’s “mystery solved?” Obviously there’s more to this terror tale, and as you may have ascertained from my
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Matvey (Aleksander Kuznetsov) is dating aspiring actress Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), and holy fuck does she have some Kong-sized daddy issues… like she wants the Ben Grimm lookin’ mother fucker named Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) to take a permanent dirt nap for the rather unpleasant crimes he allegedly committed against her when she was young. While the claims of Olya are suspect at best, ol’ Andrey is guilty of plenty of other crimes… crimes made easy given his status as a cop… a cop with an equally corrupt partner… and the duo have a wild hair up their collective asses about some dough they were screwed out of. So over comes ol’ Romeo Matvey with a hammer to kill Big A in his own apartment… small problem, Andrey is near indestructible, and Matvey seems to be as well… what follows is an explosive blast of cartoony, unbelievably violent, and oft times bloody confrontations within the small apartment that hasn’t been seen on
Continue reading →
Reviews
Something seems hidden below the surface of the young teenage title character in Becky. Alas, quite a bit also seems hidden from viewers — though that is certainly not the case in the gore department — in this horror thriller that sees a dating pair of single parents and their children rudely interrupted (to put it mildly) by a quartet of neo-Nazis who have just escaped from prison. Lulu Wilson (Anabelle: Creation, Ouija: Origin of Evil, and The Haunting of Hill House series) stars as 13-year-old Becky, who is still mourning the death of her mother and is angry at her father Jeff (Joel McHale of Deliver Us from Evil and the Community comedy series) for, among other things, inviting his new girlfriend Kayla (Amanda Brugel of the Snowpiercer and The Handmaid’s Tale series) and her young son Ty (Isaiah Rockcliffe, also of The Handmaid’s Tale series) to what Becky thought was going to be a weekend alone with her
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Chris Cleek (Sean Bridgers) has the goddamned life what with being a successful lawyer and family man and all… but one bad decision could bring all that to a full fuckin’ stop believe you me! What sort of decision would that be I can just hear you lot ask with baited breath? Well, let me tell you; taking home a near-feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) that you discovered on a hunting trip and imprisoning her in your cellar in an attempt to make her civilized would definitely fit the bill… and that’s exactly what Chris does. To his credit, he tells his family of his intentions… much to the chagrin of his wife Belle (Angela Bettis)… but his methods to break her will are a tad (read: absolutely fuckin’ off-the-charts) misogynistic and oh-so-very wrong as-all-fuck. As you can imagine “the woman” doesn’t cotton to this for the long term and soon she begins to fight back against her forced “training”… and
Continue reading →
MoviesNewsReviews
It’s rare these days to see a sequel outshine its predecessor, but that is the case with director William Brent Bell’s Brahms: The Boy II. The first movie introduces a nanny hired to babysit a doll. She eventually discovers after witnessing what she thinks is a possessed doll that there is a man living within the walls of the manor. The Boy II expands on the doll’s history. It centers on a couple (Katie Holmes and Owain Yeoman) and their young son Jude (Christopher Convery) who move into the guest house on the property of the manor from the first film. Due to the trauma caused by a home invasion, their son has stopped talking. While exploring the property Jude discovers a doll buried in the dirt, the infamous Brahms. Soon Katie Holme’s Liza begins to believe that the doll is not only a bad influence on her son, but that Brams may very well be possessed. I was surprised
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Man, ol’ John Blakely (Oliver Robins of Poltergeist fame… who incidentally directed and wrote this here bad bitch) has it tough as he has to live life being well-known for starring in a stalk n’ slay flick, Chain Face Clown by name, as a terror tyke, being asked to sign things like blu-rays and such, and using his fame to try and use his celeb status to get hot n’ horny with the dames. Well, that last one kinda backfires when Johnny B. does the sexual fuckings with Emily (Alissa Schneider) who turns out to be his greatest fan… and by “greatest” I mean “murderously obsessive“. This equals some really fuckin’ bad news for anyone that attempts to get in the way of the imaginary thing she and J-Dawg have percolatin’, and will make it a tad dicey for our hero to (attempt) escape from the clutches of this lascivious lunatic! The monstrous meat and putrid potatoes of Celebrity Crush
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Look man, Australia is hot as all fuck, and full of animals that doubtless would enjoy eating your freakin’ face off. Into that paradise strides Americans Lisa (Lauren Lofsberg) and Wade (Tyler Wiese), two lovebirds on the skids to partake on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway, but is instead a strained mess thanks to Lisa turning down Wade’s marriage proposal at the airport at journey’s start. Speaking of personal problems, soon our in-way-over-their-heads heroes are stranded in the vastness of the Outback (home to venomous snakes, scorpions, and some sky-high temperatures… all of which the duo must face) where the survival of their asses supersedes the survival of their relationship… which is hard to maintain once you are dead. Co-writer (along with Brien Kelly)/director Mike Green deliver a taut, suspenseful narrative (based on an urban legend no less) with Outback that’s impressive both in it’s presentation of the Outback as a malevolent character in and of itself…
Continue reading →
