CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,465 stories
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Lucy (Sam Valentine) schleps to France for the funeral of an uncle she’s never even laid eyeballs upon. Once there she doesn’t meet any family, but rather the creepy-ass and pissy Vicar of Borley (Jude S. Walko) provides her “greeting”… and by “greeting” I really mean “list of strict as balls rules to follow during her stay”. Speaking of family, after that funeral mentioned up yonder, our heroine starts gettin’ chumy with the local gravedigger, J.P. (Dylan Kellogg), who tells her of her family’s rather unsavory history which results in Sam beginning to loose her ever-lovin’ fucking mind as she experiences strange dreams and hallucinations. Now is this a growing evil presence, or has Sammy gone looney fuckin’ tunes. Dean Cain ensues. The Incantation, if you haven’t guessed by now, has it’s essence entrenched in full on Gothic thriller territory; you get the secluded location populated by a young woman with no idea of the dark secrets that hide in
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Poor Mike (Ace Young); his wife Jessica (Sarah Pribis), has pulled ye olde vanishing act somewhere in the vicinity of Clinton Road, New Jersey, U.S. of mother fuckin’ A.! Well the only thing to do is gather up some comrades… in this case Sarah’s sister Isabella (Katie Morrison), Michael’s new girlfriend Kayla (Lauren LaVera), their friend Gianna (Erin O’Brien) and her psychic boyfriend Begory (Cabin Fever‘s James DeBello), and the voice of cynicism that is oft-required in supernatural tales, Mikey’s buddy Tyler (Cody Calafiore)… and head down to Clinton road and solve that mystery once-and-mother fuckin’-for-all! Of course this leads to plenty of horror biz cliches including sex in the woods, strange noises that cause the group to separate to investigate, and even that hoary ol’ chestnut; “the creepy forest ranger” (Carlos Leon)… and don’t forget the ghosts! And it’s that familiarity that leads to some of this pictures biggest faults. There is absolutely nothing in Clinton Road that horror
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Four friends, Kip (Chris Cimperman), Megan (Anna Shields), Grace (Catharine Daddario) and Tommy (Thomas Brazzle), decide to get away from the ol’ rat race and hoof it to one of those secluded cabins (this one located in upstate New York) we all know and love, with the idea of guzzlin’ booze being of the upmost importance. But that plan goes to shit right quick as their car breaks down en route… but a chance meeting with a bizarre drifter named Thomas (Dylan Grunn) results in their car getting fixed, and the trip resumes with Thomas now in tow… and we are off to the races cats n’ creeps! After some good ol’ drunken antics, a photo of the group turns up… but no one knows where it came from, or who took it as everyone present is in the picture… and soon more strange pictures of the group appear… as does an old man (John Willoughby Noble) who claims to
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Richie-rich Steffen (Jake Red) gets the shit-hot idea to take his pals Doc (Danni Spring), Abby (Cody Renee Cameron), Rosie (Kyle Anderson), Rick (Arhtur Marroquin), and Josie (KateLynn E. Newberry) on a whistle-stop tour tour through a junky A.F. TV studio his pappy, Richard (the legendary Bill Moseley of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Devil’s Rejects fame), has just bought lock, stock, and beastly barrel (with the idea of turning it into a fancy-ass nightclub). As fate and horror biz tropes would have it, that studio has one of those dark pasts that are so popular with the kids these days, as it once was the home to ventriloquist Mr. Jolly (the equally legendary Bill Oberst Jr. who has starred in a literal shit-ton of fright flicks, and was recently seen in Rob Zombie’s 3 From Hell), his dummy Handy Dandy (Jake LaMarca on vocal duties), and their children’s program… a program who’s prepubescent studio audience keeps turning up
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MoviesReviews
Super-horny famous novelist Sian Anderson (genre legend Meg Foster, she of Carpenter’s They Live, and Masters of the Universe to name but two) is ready to wing her way to Greece to finish her latest murder mystery novel. Once there she is shown her lodgings by pompous British windbag Elias Appleby (portrayed by a scene stealing Robert Morley), warned of the islands wind situation (spoiler: It ain’t great), and introduced to the villas deranged handyman Phil (portrayed by an equally scene stealing Wings Hauser). So, long story short; our heroine witnesses Phil possibly putting a murder on Appleby and soon she must not only deal with the forces of nature battering her left and right, but with ol’ Phil deciding to do a stalk n’ slay routine on her. Yeah, she’s not going to get much writing done… The Wind is a surprisingly fantastic entry in the rather over-crowded genre of ’80’s slasher flicks… and that has nothing to do
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Ever go looking for your missing sister in Greece only to have your life fucked up six ways to Sunday by a sea monster that can only be appeased by the blood of virgins? Sure, we all have… and so has Neil (The Karate Kid‘s Martin Kove) who has come to that beautiful island along with his wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) to track down his sis Madeline (Deborah Shelton) who has pulled a vanishing act. Once there they encounter miserable ol’ bastard Nereus (José Ferrer), as well as treasure hunter Frye (the legendary James Earl Jones cuttin’ himself a big ol’ slice of ham), over-sexed space-case Barbara (Lydia Cornell who starred in the Cosmic Cow vehicle Too Close for Comfort on the ol’ boob tube)… and his sister (also a space case)… wait, that’s it, less than fifteen minutes in and it’s “mystery solved?” Obviously there’s more to this terror tale, and as you may have ascertained from my
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Matvey (Aleksander Kuznetsov) is dating aspiring actress Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), and holy fuck does she have some Kong-sized daddy issues… like she wants the Ben Grimm lookin’ mother fucker named Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) to take a permanent dirt nap for the rather unpleasant crimes he allegedly committed against her when she was young. While the claims of Olya are suspect at best, ol’ Andrey is guilty of plenty of other crimes… crimes made easy given his status as a cop… a cop with an equally corrupt partner… and the duo have a wild hair up their collective asses about some dough they were screwed out of. So over comes ol’ Romeo Matvey with a hammer to kill Big A in his own apartment… small problem, Andrey is near indestructible, and Matvey seems to be as well… what follows is an explosive blast of cartoony, unbelievably violent, and oft times bloody confrontations within the small apartment that hasn’t been seen on
Continue reading →
Reviews
Something seems hidden below the surface of the young teenage title character in Becky. Alas, quite a bit also seems hidden from viewers — though that is certainly not the case in the gore department — in this horror thriller that sees a dating pair of single parents and their children rudely interrupted (to put it mildly) by a quartet of neo-Nazis who have just escaped from prison. Lulu Wilson (Anabelle: Creation, Ouija: Origin of Evil, and The Haunting of Hill House series) stars as 13-year-old Becky, who is still mourning the death of her mother and is angry at her father Jeff (Joel McHale of Deliver Us from Evil and the Community comedy series) for, among other things, inviting his new girlfriend Kayla (Amanda Brugel of the Snowpiercer and The Handmaid’s Tale series) and her young son Ty (Isaiah Rockcliffe, also of The Handmaid’s Tale series) to what Becky thought was going to be a weekend alone with her
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Chris Cleek (Sean Bridgers) has the goddamned life what with being a successful lawyer and family man and all… but one bad decision could bring all that to a full fuckin’ stop believe you me! What sort of decision would that be I can just hear you lot ask with baited breath? Well, let me tell you; taking home a near-feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) that you discovered on a hunting trip and imprisoning her in your cellar in an attempt to make her civilized would definitely fit the bill… and that’s exactly what Chris does. To his credit, he tells his family of his intentions… much to the chagrin of his wife Belle (Angela Bettis)… but his methods to break her will are a tad (read: absolutely fuckin’ off-the-charts) misogynistic and oh-so-very wrong as-all-fuck. As you can imagine “the woman” doesn’t cotton to this for the long term and soon she begins to fight back against her forced “training”… and
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Lucy (Sam Valentine) schleps to France for the funeral of an uncle she’s never even laid eyeballs upon. Once there she doesn’t meet any family, but rather the creepy-ass and pissy Vicar of Borley (Jude S. Walko) provides her “greeting”… and by “greeting” I really mean “list of strict as balls rules to follow during her stay”. Speaking of family, after that funeral mentioned up yonder, our heroine starts gettin’ chumy with the local gravedigger, J.P. (Dylan Kellogg), who tells her of her family’s rather unsavory history which results in Sam beginning to loose her ever-lovin’ fucking mind as she experiences strange dreams and hallucinations. Now is this a growing evil presence, or has Sammy gone looney fuckin’ tunes. Dean Cain ensues. The Incantation, if you haven’t guessed by now, has it’s essence entrenched in full on Gothic thriller territory; you get the secluded location populated by a young woman with no idea of the dark secrets that hide in
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Poor Mike (Ace Young); his wife Jessica (Sarah Pribis), has pulled ye olde vanishing act somewhere in the vicinity of Clinton Road, New Jersey, U.S. of mother fuckin’ A.! Well the only thing to do is gather up some comrades… in this case Sarah’s sister Isabella (Katie Morrison), Michael’s new girlfriend Kayla (Lauren LaVera), their friend Gianna (Erin O’Brien) and her psychic boyfriend Begory (Cabin Fever‘s James DeBello), and the voice of cynicism that is oft-required in supernatural tales, Mikey’s buddy Tyler (Cody Calafiore)… and head down to Clinton road and solve that mystery once-and-mother fuckin’-for-all! Of course this leads to plenty of horror biz cliches including sex in the woods, strange noises that cause the group to separate to investigate, and even that hoary ol’ chestnut; “the creepy forest ranger” (Carlos Leon)… and don’t forget the ghosts! And it’s that familiarity that leads to some of this pictures biggest faults. There is absolutely nothing in Clinton Road that horror
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Four friends, Kip (Chris Cimperman), Megan (Anna Shields), Grace (Catharine Daddario) and Tommy (Thomas Brazzle), decide to get away from the ol’ rat race and hoof it to one of those secluded cabins (this one located in upstate New York) we all know and love, with the idea of guzzlin’ booze being of the upmost importance. But that plan goes to shit right quick as their car breaks down en route… but a chance meeting with a bizarre drifter named Thomas (Dylan Grunn) results in their car getting fixed, and the trip resumes with Thomas now in tow… and we are off to the races cats n’ creeps! After some good ol’ drunken antics, a photo of the group turns up… but no one knows where it came from, or who took it as everyone present is in the picture… and soon more strange pictures of the group appear… as does an old man (John Willoughby Noble) who claims to
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Richie-rich Steffen (Jake Red) gets the shit-hot idea to take his pals Doc (Danni Spring), Abby (Cody Renee Cameron), Rosie (Kyle Anderson), Rick (Arhtur Marroquin), and Josie (KateLynn E. Newberry) on a whistle-stop tour tour through a junky A.F. TV studio his pappy, Richard (the legendary Bill Moseley of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Devil’s Rejects fame), has just bought lock, stock, and beastly barrel (with the idea of turning it into a fancy-ass nightclub). As fate and horror biz tropes would have it, that studio has one of those dark pasts that are so popular with the kids these days, as it once was the home to ventriloquist Mr. Jolly (the equally legendary Bill Oberst Jr. who has starred in a literal shit-ton of fright flicks, and was recently seen in Rob Zombie’s 3 From Hell), his dummy Handy Dandy (Jake LaMarca on vocal duties), and their children’s program… a program who’s prepubescent studio audience keeps turning up
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Super-horny famous novelist Sian Anderson (genre legend Meg Foster, she of Carpenter’s They Live, and Masters of the Universe to name but two) is ready to wing her way to Greece to finish her latest murder mystery novel. Once there she is shown her lodgings by pompous British windbag Elias Appleby (portrayed by a scene stealing Robert Morley), warned of the islands wind situation (spoiler: It ain’t great), and introduced to the villas deranged handyman Phil (portrayed by an equally scene stealing Wings Hauser). So, long story short; our heroine witnesses Phil possibly putting a murder on Appleby and soon she must not only deal with the forces of nature battering her left and right, but with ol’ Phil deciding to do a stalk n’ slay routine on her. Yeah, she’s not going to get much writing done… The Wind is a surprisingly fantastic entry in the rather over-crowded genre of ’80’s slasher flicks… and that has nothing to do
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Ever go looking for your missing sister in Greece only to have your life fucked up six ways to Sunday by a sea monster that can only be appeased by the blood of virgins? Sure, we all have… and so has Neil (The Karate Kid‘s Martin Kove) who has come to that beautiful island along with his wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) to track down his sis Madeline (Deborah Shelton) who has pulled a vanishing act. Once there they encounter miserable ol’ bastard Nereus (José Ferrer), as well as treasure hunter Frye (the legendary James Earl Jones cuttin’ himself a big ol’ slice of ham), over-sexed space-case Barbara (Lydia Cornell who starred in the Cosmic Cow vehicle Too Close for Comfort on the ol’ boob tube)… and his sister (also a space case)… wait, that’s it, less than fifteen minutes in and it’s “mystery solved?” Obviously there’s more to this terror tale, and as you may have ascertained from my
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Matvey (Aleksander Kuznetsov) is dating aspiring actress Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), and holy fuck does she have some Kong-sized daddy issues… like she wants the Ben Grimm lookin’ mother fucker named Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) to take a permanent dirt nap for the rather unpleasant crimes he allegedly committed against her when she was young. While the claims of Olya are suspect at best, ol’ Andrey is guilty of plenty of other crimes… crimes made easy given his status as a cop… a cop with an equally corrupt partner… and the duo have a wild hair up their collective asses about some dough they were screwed out of. So over comes ol’ Romeo Matvey with a hammer to kill Big A in his own apartment… small problem, Andrey is near indestructible, and Matvey seems to be as well… what follows is an explosive blast of cartoony, unbelievably violent, and oft times bloody confrontations within the small apartment that hasn’t been seen on
Continue reading →
Reviews
Something seems hidden below the surface of the young teenage title character in Becky. Alas, quite a bit also seems hidden from viewers — though that is certainly not the case in the gore department — in this horror thriller that sees a dating pair of single parents and their children rudely interrupted (to put it mildly) by a quartet of neo-Nazis who have just escaped from prison. Lulu Wilson (Anabelle: Creation, Ouija: Origin of Evil, and The Haunting of Hill House series) stars as 13-year-old Becky, who is still mourning the death of her mother and is angry at her father Jeff (Joel McHale of Deliver Us from Evil and the Community comedy series) for, among other things, inviting his new girlfriend Kayla (Amanda Brugel of the Snowpiercer and The Handmaid’s Tale series) and her young son Ty (Isaiah Rockcliffe, also of The Handmaid’s Tale series) to what Becky thought was going to be a weekend alone with her
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviewsThriller
Chris Cleek (Sean Bridgers) has the goddamned life what with being a successful lawyer and family man and all… but one bad decision could bring all that to a full fuckin’ stop believe you me! What sort of decision would that be I can just hear you lot ask with baited breath? Well, let me tell you; taking home a near-feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) that you discovered on a hunting trip and imprisoning her in your cellar in an attempt to make her civilized would definitely fit the bill… and that’s exactly what Chris does. To his credit, he tells his family of his intentions… much to the chagrin of his wife Belle (Angela Bettis)… but his methods to break her will are a tad (read: absolutely fuckin’ off-the-charts) misogynistic and oh-so-very wrong as-all-fuck. As you can imagine “the woman” doesn’t cotton to this for the long term and soon she begins to fight back against her forced “training”… and
Continue reading →
