CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,465 stories
ForeignMoviesReviews
Zombies; love them or hate them you have to admit their apocalypses are always rather grand. Well, after one such incident, the human race is in a serious slump… like the kind where most of it has been eaten to shit and back. Into that maelstrom of flesh nibblers and ghoulish fiends stride Vivi (Gro Swantje Kohlhof) and Eva (Maja Lehrer), two lasses from ol’ Weimar towne; a city that survived the mess beyond it’s walls by simply killing every last mother fucker they even remotely felt could become a zombo. The duo are trying to make their way to Jena, a city that’s trying to find cure this whole gut-munchin’ biz, but that plan turns right shit right quick, and our heroes find themselves going through the Black Forest where they will do their doggone ding-dong damnedest to survive. Kicking out the mother fuckin’ jams with some positives; I must say Kohlhof and Lehrer are the perfect odd couple;
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IndieMoviesReviews
Happy Holidays from Alert Insulation, you’re all fired! Now just why is Alert giving everyone their staff the heave-ho? Well, that is all thanks to mega-efficient robot Auto (Jeff J. Knight in the suit with voice by Jim Tasker) who can handle an entire shift practically by himself… and there’s a better version of Auto itself ready to roll out. Small problem there… Auto gets wind of his eminent early retirement, blows a fuse, and becomes a full fledged murder machine that threatens the existence of the remaining staff. Maybe they shouldn’t use former military hardware to save a buck… With it’s pointed satire taking aim at corporate America and robot lead, you can bet demons to fuckin’ donuts that Automation brings to mind Verhoeven’s all-time classic flick Robocop, but that’s just surface level cats n’ creeps. The flick also has some stuff to say on office politics, what it means to be human and sentient, and just how much
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HalloweenIndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Our dude Carl (writer/director Carl Medland) is headin’ back to the freaky farm that made him famous, and things aren’t lookin’ good regarding his personal safety! Following the events of the first two Paranormal Farm flicks (which I reviewed here and here) the aforementioned Carl is called back to Darren (Darren Earl Williams) and Lucy’s (Lucy French) remote farm, only to discover that things are becoming more violent thanks to the strange forces at play on that desolate land… and because he didn’t learn anything from his previous experiences, he dives balls deep right into the gaping maw of pure terror… or he decides to look around the farm with a flashlight searching for arcane energy… whichever reads better. Anyway, the investigation continues and our heroes must deal with malicious mannequins, the occasional putrefied rat, debates about wardrobe continuity, and even more whack-o visitors to the farm. Will Carl make it through the ghoulish goings-on unscathed… and more importantly will
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MoviesReviewsThriller
Justin (Kris Reilly) and his best friend Daniel (Dennis Marin) hope to coerce a duo of barmaids, Mindy (Jessika Johnson) and Amanda (Kaiti Wallen), into making ye olde porno, which naturally results in Justin strangling Mindy to death. Amanda is none to thrilled, makes her escape, and informs the police… but they do jack shit since Justin’s daddy is a hot-shit senator (Dennis Haskins). Thankfully for our heroine, her dad Max (Tom Sizemore), is an ex-con and he plans on fixing the score. Unfortunately for our heroine, Justin is completely insane and begins going all-in on the murder biz. Will she be able to survive his machinations with her hide in one piece? Abstruse may seem like a action thriller on the surface, but this one has more to offer than you’d assume. First of all, the flick seems to exist in it’s own noir flavored reality where nearly everyone is corrupt or violent… or some combination of the two.
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MoviesReviews
Something has been ripping loggers a new asshole up in the mountains of Maine… a situation made worse by the local native population… well worse for the paper mill that is running the logging gig and fuckin’ up the land of the tribes of the region, as they try and protest every step of the operation. Enter Dr. Robert Verne (Robert Foxworth) who excepts a job from the EPA to write a report on the woodsy static going down. Once there, Rob notices a few things; the logging company are kind of complete assholes, the raccoons of the are are not to be fucked with, and the spokesperson for the tribes, John Hawks (played by Armand Assante of all people) is convinced a legendary monster roams the woods… which would surprise no one due to the amount of pollution that mill is a-churnin’ out! Also, it actually is… and it looks like the giant fuckin’ bear equivalent of Two-Face (played
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GamingNewsProductReviewsTrailers
The latest DLC for Frontier Development’s business/theme park simulation Jurassic World Evolution is possibly its biggest yet! The “Return to Jurassic Park” DLC brings back Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum in their iconic roles from the film series and picks up where their first adventure left off. In the game, players return to Isla Nublar to help Drs Grant and Sattler, and Ian Malcolm as they’re helping John Hammond to get control back of the island, repair damaged facilities, and get dinosaurs under control so the park can finally open to the public. The story also includes a young Cabot Finch who is in charge of finances in the main game but in the DLC is Hammond’s intern. The DLC not only has the buildings from 1993 (that can be carried over into the main game) but two new dinosaurs, the Compys and Pterandons, and two new attractions, the self-driving tour jeeps from the first film, and the
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MoviesReviews
Rose (Laura Vandervoort) is having a shitty go at life lately; she’s the odd one out in the fashion biz she toils away in, she’s the pity project of her one friend in the world, Chelsea (Hanneke Talbot), and before too long half of her freakin’ face is scraped off in a moped accident (not really the vehicle that comes to mind when I think of horrible, life-altering, trauma, but here we are… to be fair there were cars involved on the periphery). She also gets fired, you know, just to piss directly on the raw, festering wound that is Rose’s soul. Not content to live a life destined to haunting Parisian (or Toronto in this case) opera houses, or cosplaying as Darkman, our heroine opts to undergo a radical gene splicing therapy to fix her busted chops. Everything seems to be coming up Rose at first; she’s hot A.F., she gets a new position actually designing fashion for her
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Film FestivalsMoviesReviews
Director Jeremy Kasten’s The Dead Ones tackles current hot-button issues about high school violence, including school shootings and bullying, with a supernatural spin. The film will likely take many viewers out of their comfort zones, and this challenging outing is bound to remain in the minds of those who see it for a good while. Four teenagers — introverted Alice “Mouse” Monroe (Sarah Rose Harper), former juvenile hall charge Scottie French (Brandon Thane Wilson of 2011’s Lovely Molly), psychologically troubled Katie Foster (Emily Davis of Lovely Molly and 2010’s Ghosts Don’t Exist), and Katie’s violence-prone boyfriend Louis Friend (Torey Garza) are tasked by school faculty member Ms. Persephone (Clare Kramer of Tales of Halloween [2015], the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series, and Kasten’s The Thirst [2006]) to spend what would have been their summer vacation in detention, cleaning up a huge mess at their high school. As these characters are introduced and that initial set-up is begun, The Dead
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MoviesReviews
Poor Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks), while just livin’ his life as a middle-aged optometrist, he keeps coming “unstuck” in time. One second he’s in the trenches of World War II, the next he’s on exhibit in a fancy zoo on the planet Tralfamadore, kicking it with sexy-ass Hollywood starlet Montana Wildhack (Valerie Perrine). That last one is pretty damn awesome, but unfortunately he must also cool his jets in a German POW camp in Dresden (the eponymous Slaughterhouse Five), or fight for his life after barely surviving a plane crash… all in any order the time stream feels is necessary. Will our hero find a happy end or just keep fast forwarding and rewinding his life’s events until he expires? Slaughterhouse-Five is one hell of a crazy ride cats n’ creeps! We get time travel, nazis, aliens, nudity… you know, the big ticket items, but things are never presented in a manner other than melancholy, introspective, and often blackly humorous.
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Comic Books/Graphic NovelsNewsReviews
So, I’ve gotten my hands on issue one of Joe Hill’s new comic Dying is Easy, from publisher IDW, the same publisher that brought us Hill’s The Cape, Road Rage, Thumbprint, and Locke & Key. The first issue opens with a dark and humorous stand-up routine by the main character, Syd “Shit Talk” Homes, an ex-cop with a sharp tongue and a quick wit. Hill made a bold choice opening a new comic with a comedy routine, but if you read closely, the routine reveals quite a lot about Syd. After his set, Syd sits talking with two other comedians as they discuss a young comic and his habits of stealing from other routines. The conversation flows well. Presumably set in the ’90s (Leno and “Friends” receive a nod), we also get hints of Syd’s past that includes murder and a woman. While issue one did not tread into the horror genre straight away, I look forward to seeing more
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More from Reviews
ForeignMoviesReviews
Zombies; love them or hate them you have to admit their apocalypses are always rather grand. Well, after one such incident, the human race is in a serious slump… like the kind where most of it has been eaten to shit and back. Into that maelstrom of flesh nibblers and ghoulish fiends stride Vivi (Gro Swantje Kohlhof) and Eva (Maja Lehrer), two lasses from ol’ Weimar towne; a city that survived the mess beyond it’s walls by simply killing every last mother fucker they even remotely felt could become a zombo. The duo are trying to make their way to Jena, a city that’s trying to find cure this whole gut-munchin’ biz, but that plan turns right shit right quick, and our heroes find themselves going through the Black Forest where they will do their doggone ding-dong damnedest to survive. Kicking out the mother fuckin’ jams with some positives; I must say Kohlhof and Lehrer are the perfect odd couple;
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Happy Holidays from Alert Insulation, you’re all fired! Now just why is Alert giving everyone their staff the heave-ho? Well, that is all thanks to mega-efficient robot Auto (Jeff J. Knight in the suit with voice by Jim Tasker) who can handle an entire shift practically by himself… and there’s a better version of Auto itself ready to roll out. Small problem there… Auto gets wind of his eminent early retirement, blows a fuse, and becomes a full fledged murder machine that threatens the existence of the remaining staff. Maybe they shouldn’t use former military hardware to save a buck… With it’s pointed satire taking aim at corporate America and robot lead, you can bet demons to fuckin’ donuts that Automation brings to mind Verhoeven’s all-time classic flick Robocop, but that’s just surface level cats n’ creeps. The flick also has some stuff to say on office politics, what it means to be human and sentient, and just how much
Continue reading →
HalloweenIndieMoviesParanormalReviews
Our dude Carl (writer/director Carl Medland) is headin’ back to the freaky farm that made him famous, and things aren’t lookin’ good regarding his personal safety! Following the events of the first two Paranormal Farm flicks (which I reviewed here and here) the aforementioned Carl is called back to Darren (Darren Earl Williams) and Lucy’s (Lucy French) remote farm, only to discover that things are becoming more violent thanks to the strange forces at play on that desolate land… and because he didn’t learn anything from his previous experiences, he dives balls deep right into the gaping maw of pure terror… or he decides to look around the farm with a flashlight searching for arcane energy… whichever reads better. Anyway, the investigation continues and our heroes must deal with malicious mannequins, the occasional putrefied rat, debates about wardrobe continuity, and even more whack-o visitors to the farm. Will Carl make it through the ghoulish goings-on unscathed… and more importantly will
Continue reading →
MoviesReviewsThriller
Justin (Kris Reilly) and his best friend Daniel (Dennis Marin) hope to coerce a duo of barmaids, Mindy (Jessika Johnson) and Amanda (Kaiti Wallen), into making ye olde porno, which naturally results in Justin strangling Mindy to death. Amanda is none to thrilled, makes her escape, and informs the police… but they do jack shit since Justin’s daddy is a hot-shit senator (Dennis Haskins). Thankfully for our heroine, her dad Max (Tom Sizemore), is an ex-con and he plans on fixing the score. Unfortunately for our heroine, Justin is completely insane and begins going all-in on the murder biz. Will she be able to survive his machinations with her hide in one piece? Abstruse may seem like a action thriller on the surface, but this one has more to offer than you’d assume. First of all, the flick seems to exist in it’s own noir flavored reality where nearly everyone is corrupt or violent… or some combination of the two.
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Something has been ripping loggers a new asshole up in the mountains of Maine… a situation made worse by the local native population… well worse for the paper mill that is running the logging gig and fuckin’ up the land of the tribes of the region, as they try and protest every step of the operation. Enter Dr. Robert Verne (Robert Foxworth) who excepts a job from the EPA to write a report on the woodsy static going down. Once there, Rob notices a few things; the logging company are kind of complete assholes, the raccoons of the are are not to be fucked with, and the spokesperson for the tribes, John Hawks (played by Armand Assante of all people) is convinced a legendary monster roams the woods… which would surprise no one due to the amount of pollution that mill is a-churnin’ out! Also, it actually is… and it looks like the giant fuckin’ bear equivalent of Two-Face (played
Continue reading →
GamingNewsProductReviewsTrailers
The latest DLC for Frontier Development’s business/theme park simulation Jurassic World Evolution is possibly its biggest yet! The “Return to Jurassic Park” DLC brings back Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum in their iconic roles from the film series and picks up where their first adventure left off. In the game, players return to Isla Nublar to help Drs Grant and Sattler, and Ian Malcolm as they’re helping John Hammond to get control back of the island, repair damaged facilities, and get dinosaurs under control so the park can finally open to the public. The story also includes a young Cabot Finch who is in charge of finances in the main game but in the DLC is Hammond’s intern. The DLC not only has the buildings from 1993 (that can be carried over into the main game) but two new dinosaurs, the Compys and Pterandons, and two new attractions, the self-driving tour jeeps from the first film, and the
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Rose (Laura Vandervoort) is having a shitty go at life lately; she’s the odd one out in the fashion biz she toils away in, she’s the pity project of her one friend in the world, Chelsea (Hanneke Talbot), and before too long half of her freakin’ face is scraped off in a moped accident (not really the vehicle that comes to mind when I think of horrible, life-altering, trauma, but here we are… to be fair there were cars involved on the periphery). She also gets fired, you know, just to piss directly on the raw, festering wound that is Rose’s soul. Not content to live a life destined to haunting Parisian (or Toronto in this case) opera houses, or cosplaying as Darkman, our heroine opts to undergo a radical gene splicing therapy to fix her busted chops. Everything seems to be coming up Rose at first; she’s hot A.F., she gets a new position actually designing fashion for her
Continue reading →
Film FestivalsMoviesReviews
Director Jeremy Kasten’s The Dead Ones tackles current hot-button issues about high school violence, including school shootings and bullying, with a supernatural spin. The film will likely take many viewers out of their comfort zones, and this challenging outing is bound to remain in the minds of those who see it for a good while. Four teenagers — introverted Alice “Mouse” Monroe (Sarah Rose Harper), former juvenile hall charge Scottie French (Brandon Thane Wilson of 2011’s Lovely Molly), psychologically troubled Katie Foster (Emily Davis of Lovely Molly and 2010’s Ghosts Don’t Exist), and Katie’s violence-prone boyfriend Louis Friend (Torey Garza) are tasked by school faculty member Ms. Persephone (Clare Kramer of Tales of Halloween [2015], the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series, and Kasten’s The Thirst [2006]) to spend what would have been their summer vacation in detention, cleaning up a huge mess at their high school. As these characters are introduced and that initial set-up is begun, The Dead
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Poor Billy Pilgrim (Michael Sacks), while just livin’ his life as a middle-aged optometrist, he keeps coming “unstuck” in time. One second he’s in the trenches of World War II, the next he’s on exhibit in a fancy zoo on the planet Tralfamadore, kicking it with sexy-ass Hollywood starlet Montana Wildhack (Valerie Perrine). That last one is pretty damn awesome, but unfortunately he must also cool his jets in a German POW camp in Dresden (the eponymous Slaughterhouse Five), or fight for his life after barely surviving a plane crash… all in any order the time stream feels is necessary. Will our hero find a happy end or just keep fast forwarding and rewinding his life’s events until he expires? Slaughterhouse-Five is one hell of a crazy ride cats n’ creeps! We get time travel, nazis, aliens, nudity… you know, the big ticket items, but things are never presented in a manner other than melancholy, introspective, and often blackly humorous.
Continue reading →
Comic Books/Graphic NovelsNewsReviews
So, I’ve gotten my hands on issue one of Joe Hill’s new comic Dying is Easy, from publisher IDW, the same publisher that brought us Hill’s The Cape, Road Rage, Thumbprint, and Locke & Key. The first issue opens with a dark and humorous stand-up routine by the main character, Syd “Shit Talk” Homes, an ex-cop with a sharp tongue and a quick wit. Hill made a bold choice opening a new comic with a comedy routine, but if you read closely, the routine reveals quite a lot about Syd. After his set, Syd sits talking with two other comedians as they discuss a young comic and his habits of stealing from other routines. The conversation flows well. Presumably set in the ’90s (Leno and “Friends” receive a nod), we also get hints of Syd’s past that includes murder and a woman. While issue one did not tread into the horror genre straight away, I look forward to seeing more
Continue reading →
