Reviews

Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.

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MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Prodigy (2018)

Erik (Cory Kays) is livin’ the sad-sack lifestyle thanks to the loss of his wife Emily (Adrianne White)…a lifestyle that leads to that ol’ classic; self medicatin’! Adding to the fun is his estranged son, who makes with the demands; like carting his ass to a undisclosed location (try slammin’ that one up in your GPS) to receive a message from upon high that can save humanity…so you know, absolutely no pressure there. Will our father/son duo be able to save the world and more importantly heal their fractured relationship? Look, I’m going to throw this out right up front…while Prodigy definitely has some thriller elements and that whole “end of the world” situation that has been featured in plenty of genre flicks; this film is two things above all…a family drama, and a “faith based film”, so this is definitely not anything that I would ever choose to watch on my own, but thems the brakes sometimes. That’s not

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DanXIII

Nov 11, 2018

IndieMoviesNetflixReviewsStreaming TV

Movie Review: Cam (2018)

Alice (Madeline Brewer) makes her livin’ showing the goods on her softcore live-streaming channel, but things are getting stale and numbers are dropping so she does what one does and pulls macabre stunts (such as everyone’s favorite hoary ol’ chestnut; a fake suicide) and goes further and further with her sexual content. This definitely gets more eyes on her site, but it also brings an ever increasing amount of creeper clientele. To make matter worse, Alice wakes up one morning to discover she is locked out of her channel, yet a doppelganger is carrying on with her show! Soon it’s a journey into an existence spiraling out of control, and Alice just may not have what it takes to make it out alive! Right of the bat, Cam tickles your eerie eyeballs with an over abundance of slick style. Everything is neon light, snappy editing, and thumping techno, which definitely creates a ambiance that screams of the lurid sex-on-digital world

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DanXIII

Nov 10, 2018

MoviesReviews

Movie Review: Lasso (2018)

A bunch of old farts and their caretakers embark on a senior citizen field trip to the ol’ row-die-oh. After much carnival game ass-foolery, and ridin’ and ropin’ the sun sets and the murder biz begins, as the psychotic cow pokes behind the show change gears from lassoing to lacerating. Now it’s up to our heroes to survive the night and get the hell of that revoltin’ ranch! Lasso takes a simple premise; folks have to survive a horror show rodeo, and boy-oh-boy does it play it for everything it is worth! The setting, used to perfection, provides us with a veritable shit ton of unique kills (branding rods, prods, horseshoes, the eponymous lasso) all delivered with spot on practical effects that will surely satisfy gore hounds. Along with that we are presented with an incredibly enjoyable cast on both sides of the fence with Lindsey Morgan and Andrew Jacobs as the fresh faced, likable leads whose characters are tasked

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DanXIII

Nov 10, 2018

BooksGamingProductReviews

A Psychological Tightrope: Final Thoughts Of ‘The Call Of Cthulhu: The Official Video Game’

Since my review of “The Call of Cthulhu: The Official Video Game”, I’ve played the game twice and have enough to give my final thoughts. The following will contain spoilers as I explain the overall main plot as it may be confusing to those who have played the game and have questions, but at the end (My final thoughts) are spoiler free if you wish to skip down to that. SPOILERS AHEAD! Some of the information I’ll skip over as it’s been mentioned in my review. On the island of Darkwater, the locals are obsessed with a legendary story about the “Miraculous Catch”, the whaling community was starving as the whales seemed to have vanished from the waters surrounding the island in the 1840’s. One whaling ship came back missing half its crew that was lost during the fight to catch this gigantic “Whale” that fed the entire island. Three of the island’s inhabitants, Captain Fitzroy, Dr. Fuller, and Jack

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Capt McNeely

Nov 8, 2018

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Orgies of Edo (1969)

I know what you’re thinking…and yes, pretzel Combos do suck…oh, and this film is probably a porno, what with the word “orgies” front and center in the title; but believe me, when I detail the subject matter at hand you’ll be thankful it’s just one of your average, run of the mill, unbelievably sadistic flicks featuring a parade of violence towards women. Phew, dodged a bullet there, eh boils n’ ghouls? Anyway, Orgies of Edo is comprised of three tales, and we’ll be taking a brief look at each one. After whatever the unholy hell the opening of this film is (I can tell you it features some sort of human drag queen marionette and a woman with four titties), we begin our first story which details the heartwarming adventures of Oito (Masumi Tachibana); a naive woman who is sold into prostitution, suffers torture and humiliation, and enters into a love affair with the man responsible for her miserable lot

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DanXIII

Nov 5, 2018

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Luciferina (2018)

Young novice nun Natalia (Sofia Del Tuffo) makes a journey back to her family home to visit her ailing father, the victim of a vicious attack by her seemingly possessed (now deceased) mother. Once there she finds her hot A.F. sister and her degenerate friends have taken up residence on the lower level of the house. Speaking of those friends, one of them looks like he’s the lead singer in a Harvey Danger cover-band…seriously, just look at this flagpole sitta… Anyway, while those reprobates are squatting on the lower level of the house, while Natalia’s father lie bandaged and in shock in a weird angled attic surrounded by nightmarish paintings. Soon Natalia accompanies her sister’s friends on a trek deep into the jungle to find a drug that supposedly cures the soul, but in turn releases the darkness within causing Natalia to face the duality of her family’s past as well as her very existence…a virginal holy woman, and a

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DanXIII

Nov 4, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Scarecrows (2018)

A group of young rascals go in search of a remote lagoon (seriously, is that a thing that college kids even do???), and along the way a thumb falls from the sky and collides with their car. Why does this happen? Well, the answer is one that these boobs and most of you could never guess (unless you read the film’s title and watched it’s cold open…fuck, okay…you could have guessed it, but the characters couldn’t)…and that answer is that a crow was feasting on a living scarecrow hanging in the field of a demented farmer and dropped that shit like a thumb turd on the hood of said automobile. Anyhow, our heroes find the lagoon, they splash around, their car gets stolen, and they of course run afoul of that freaky farmer which makes their life choice of not being turned into scarecrows a bit complicated. Scarecrows is a film of flip-floppin’ paradigms, and at that game, this fright

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DanXIII

Nov 4, 2018

ForeignMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Number 37 (2018)

Randal (Irshaad Ally) has got his ass in some dire freakin’ straits; you see, he owes money to the local loan shark, Emmie (Danny Ross), who makes late payments a death sentence and to some thugs that have broken Randal’s back and left him confined to a wheelchair. As fate (and Hitchcock) would have it; Randal’s girlfriend Pam (Monique Rockman) gives our crippled hero a pair of binoculars with which he discovers a way out of his shitty sitch as he spies the fact that his neighbor, the gangster Lawyer (David Manuel), has a sack of cash just waiting to be stolen in his apartment…more than enough to settle the score with those he owes that multitude of greenbacks, plus live the easy life. But how will he go about robbin’ that gangster and makin’ the dash? Comprised of a number of innovative trappings (that knife wielding albino springs to mind), ratcheting tension, and an effective use of a single

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DanXIII

Nov 3, 2018

IndieMoviesReviews

Movie Review: Possum (2018)

Phillip (Sean Harris), a disgraced puppeteer (are there any other kinds really…), returns to his childhood home, or to be more precise; his isolated, dilapidated former home set among the bleak and barren Norfolk landscape. Once there he reflects on his troubled childhood and deals with his last surviving relative; a real son of a bitch named Maurice (Alun Armstrong). As the days progress, Phillip continuously attempts to rid himself of the spider-like puppet, the eponymous ‘Possum’, he lugs around in a large handbag…only to have the beast reappear. Just what did Phillip due to be ostracized, and just what connection does he have to the recent disappearance of a local schoolboy? Though by no means exactly this; the best way I can describe Possum is to imagine Robin Hardy directing Basket Case for Amicus (with Pete Walker consulting). This is one grim, dreary, surreal, and absolutely compelling watch, as Harris; as our perpetually frowning, chain smoking, and quite possibly

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DanXIII

Nov 1, 2018

GamingProductReviews

Game Review: ‘Mutant Football League: Dynasty Edition’

Football is one of the most popular sports in America, there’s just one problem…it’s slow, boring, and repetitive. Worse, the video games are the same! Well, Digital Dreams Entertainment & Nighthawk Interactive have made a game that makes the sport more exciting, “Mutant Football League: Dynasty Edition”. This game is now available both for digital download and in physical retail form for Xbox One, PlayStation 4, PC/STEAM, and Nintendo Switch. As the name implies, there are no human football players in this game, the rosters are full of the undead, aliens, robots, mutants, orcs, werewolves, and demons. Unlike football, after the whistle blows, the hits don’t stop! That’s right, players will fight after play and sometimes with deadly results and the players are not the only ones able to do the killing, the fields you play on are full of traps as well! In “Dynasty Edition” there’s a new game mode by the same name, it’s a management mode. In

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Capt McNeely

Oct 31, 2018

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