CategoryReviews
Honest horror reviews of films, series, games and books — no hype, no spoilers, just whether it is worth your time and your nerves.
3,432 stories
MoviesReviewsTrailers
In The Conjuring 2, we watched as Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed (Patrick Wilson) go head to head with Valik, a dark entity who appears in the form of an evil nun. In The Nun, which arrived on Blu-ray and DVD Tuesday, we witness the origin story of Valik. Father Burke (Demián Bichir) is tasked by the Vatican with investigating the suicide of a nun and the dark goings-on at a remote abbey in Romania. Father Burke is assigned a companion for his journey, young Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga). Once they arrive they are taken to the abbey by the young man (Jonas Bloquet) who discovered the sister’s decaying body, still hanging by the neck. The three set out to uncover the secrets that the ancient convent holds. I was more than excited and raced right to the movie section of my local Wal-Mart to snag a copy. After waiting all day the night set in and I snuggled into
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Before I jump into this here review for Heavy Trip, let me state that this is definitely NOT a horror film, rather it is a comedy about black metal, but since metal and horror intersect beautifully…and…and fuck it; I do whatever the shit I want… Turo (Johannes Holopainen), and his friends Pasi (Max Ovaska), Lotvonen (Samuli Jaskio), and Jynkyy (Antti Heikkinen) have been practicing their metal chops in a basement for the better part of 12 years, but Turo’s near paralyzing shyness have kept them from recording original material or performing even a single gig. considered a joke by damn near the entire town, our heroes soon get a chance to play a large metal festival in Norway, and the town begins to change their tune and worship the boys as local legends. Sounds great right? Well, while the promoter of said festival digs their sound (after hearing their demo post-reindeer blood shower…trust me, it makes sense when you see
Continue reading →
GamingProductReviews
B.D. Wong is back as malevolently sinister Dr. Wu in the DLC “Jurassic World Evolution: Secrets of Dr. Wu”. DLC means Downloadable Content, it’s an add-on to a game. Frontier Development was kind enough to give me the chance to play the DLC and share it with you! First, I suggest before playing the DLC that you complete the main game first and unlock all the dinosaur genomes, building updates, research etc as this will help you have a leg up as this story mode is a bit more challenging! In the DLC you get two new dinosaurs that are part of the missions you unlock, the Troodon, a small carnivore with a poisonous bite and unfortunately these little rascals like to bite EVERYTHING! The second is the Olorotitan, a duck-billed type of dino, which like its cousins in the game, is very temperamental. Overall the DLC is worth the price! The new dinosaurs are fun to have and to
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Creepshow, or as I like to call it; “The best mother fuckin’ horror anthology ever made…period.” You’ve seen it, I’ve sure as shit have seen it…and I know you probably love it as much as your’s cruelly! Well, it just so happens our devilish compatriots at Scream Factory have just issued a special edition Blu-ray release of ol’ Creepy-baby, and I’m fixin’ to tell you what’s what about that…but first I’ll give a quick sinister synopsis for each story contained within this arcane anthology for all none of you that haven’t seen it… After a brief intro segment where a shit heel of a father (genre icon Tom “Thrill Me” Atkins) smacks his kid Billy (Joe Hill…the son of ol’ Stephen King; who just so happened to pen this fearsome feature, and a hell of a writer himself these days) around for reading horror comics we jump into our first tale: Father’s Day is the story of a wealthy and
Continue reading →
GamingNewsProductReviews
The creative folks over at The Bearded Ladies and Funcom were nice enough to allow me to review their new real-time strategy game, “Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden”. This story merges tactical strategy, stealth, and turn-based combat along with exploration and scavenging. Without any spoilers, the story takes place in the future after humanity pretty much messed everything up and years later the new generation is picking up the pieces. The world is known as “the zone” where it’s not safe to be, the only safe place is a haven called the “Ark”. A special group of explorers known as Stalkers ventures out into the zone to gather supplies and ensure that a race of marauders known as the ghouls are kept at bay. Now come our heroes, a mutant boar named Borman and a Dux the duck. While looking for a lost group of stalkers they meet up with one of the missing stalkers, Selma, she looks human
Continue reading →
MoviesNewsReviews
There has a been a lot of hype surrounding Universal Picture’s crime comedy The Happytime Murders. I’m often leery of movies who have a ton of buzz, more often than not I get disappointed. Luckily, that’s not the case with The Happytime Murders. From director Brian Henson comes this side-splitting thrill ride that puts human detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) and puppet P.I. Phil Phillips (Bill Barretta) on the case of murdered cast members of the Happytime show. The pair, once partners, have a tension-filled relationship and the two are constantly at each other’s throats and slinging insults which makes for a hilarious viewing experience. The star-studded human cast for this flick also includes Maya Rudolph, Elizabeth Banks, Joel McHale, and Leslie David Baker. One thing you should know, while puppets are cute, this movie is NOT for kids. In fact, it’s the most vulgar movie I’ve seen in a long time and I enjoyed the hell out of it.
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Holiday HorrorIndieMoviesReviews
A kid gets possessed by an elf, and gets his dunce of a brother to crawl into an oven where then proceeds to cook him. I say “What the fuck?!!”, and thus begins Elves…a sequel to a film I’ve never seen (The Elf for you keeping score at home)… Things kick into high gear once a group of friends open a chest-full of elf dolls at a holiday soiree. Each friend takes an elf with them and before long they get possessed by the effigies who make them suffer for their “naughtiness”…with predictably murderous results. Will anyone survive the arcane ordeal to see next Christmas? First things first, as mentioned up yonder, I had never laid my eerie eyeballs on The Elf, and fortunately Director Jamaal Burden has crafted a simple tale that’s easy to follow for neophytes to the franchise. What you get is a big ol’ slice of fruit cake as our troubled heroes take on the visage
Continue reading →
Holiday HorrorIndieMoviesReviews
Alexi (Kristina Klebe) heads out with her ultra-bosomy gal pals Dahlia (Susan Slaughter) and Sadie (Hannah Wagner) to help them film the latest installment of their wicked web series Adventure Girls; a show dedicated to exploring abandoned structures…like the recesses of my mind where dignity and shame once did dwell. Out on the road they stop into a local watering hole where they learn kids have turned up slaughtered before heading on to their destination, a dilapidated Christmas based theme park named Santa Land. Once there they meet the kiddie-snatchin’ (and eating) culprit; none other than everyone’s favorite Xmas demon; Krampus…as well as Santa (Barry Bostwick) himself, though he is more of a brawlin’, boozin’ , biker-type rather than the jolly ol’ St. Nick we have become accustomed to. Now it’s up to our comely heroines and Santa to put an end to that Germanic terror’s reign of evil…fuck, we are all going to die, aren’t we? As you may
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Alex (Tara Macken) earns some scratch by being the live-in nurse for an elderly woman named Claire (Leslie Easterbrook); and it seems like a rather cake assignment minus changin’ an adult diaper or two. Meanwhile Claire’s estranged, and constantly down on his luck, grandson Danny (Jai Rodriguez) has reunited with Seth and Rudy (played to the hilt by Kevin Sizemore and Jose Rosete respectively), a duo of no-good-nik townies he fucked over in the past, and the trio decide to rob the old bat, with the dastardly duo doing the deed while Danny takes Alex out on a date (plus distraction sex…Danny really suffers for his machinations, eh creeps? It’s like “You dudes get dolled up in spooky masks and struggle to open that safe…I’ll take the heat off of you by getting down and dirty with this outrageously attractive woman!” That ol’ rugged cross is a hard one to bear…). As is often the case, things go south, and
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
On the eve of a massive meteor shower, a titanic damaged U.F.O. crash lands in Moscow. This sets off massive confusion among the citizenry with many resisting the arrival of our new-found brothers from the stars, some out of prejudice and others out of more personal reasons, such as Julia (Irina Starshenbaum) who’s best friend Sveta (Darya Rudenok) was inadvertently killed as the craft ripped the city apart during it’s landing. Soon Julia, along with her boyfriend Tyoma (Alexander Petrov) and his friends venture into ground zero to see what just what the aliens, who claim they wish for nothing more than to be left alone and repair their ship, are really up to! Unbeknownst to her pals, Julia finds out a secret about the aliens that causes her to have a change of heart…a change that leads to the fires of revolution and even love. But will all of that be enough to save the city, and just who
Continue reading →
More from Reviews
MoviesReviewsTrailers
In The Conjuring 2, we watched as Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) and Ed (Patrick Wilson) go head to head with Valik, a dark entity who appears in the form of an evil nun. In The Nun, which arrived on Blu-ray and DVD Tuesday, we witness the origin story of Valik. Father Burke (Demián Bichir) is tasked by the Vatican with investigating the suicide of a nun and the dark goings-on at a remote abbey in Romania. Father Burke is assigned a companion for his journey, young Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga). Once they arrive they are taken to the abbey by the young man (Jonas Bloquet) who discovered the sister’s decaying body, still hanging by the neck. The three set out to uncover the secrets that the ancient convent holds. I was more than excited and raced right to the movie section of my local Wal-Mart to snag a copy. After waiting all day the night set in and I snuggled into
Continue reading →
ForeignIndieMoviesReviews
Before I jump into this here review for Heavy Trip, let me state that this is definitely NOT a horror film, rather it is a comedy about black metal, but since metal and horror intersect beautifully…and…and fuck it; I do whatever the shit I want… Turo (Johannes Holopainen), and his friends Pasi (Max Ovaska), Lotvonen (Samuli Jaskio), and Jynkyy (Antti Heikkinen) have been practicing their metal chops in a basement for the better part of 12 years, but Turo’s near paralyzing shyness have kept them from recording original material or performing even a single gig. considered a joke by damn near the entire town, our heroes soon get a chance to play a large metal festival in Norway, and the town begins to change their tune and worship the boys as local legends. Sounds great right? Well, while the promoter of said festival digs their sound (after hearing their demo post-reindeer blood shower…trust me, it makes sense when you see
Continue reading →
GamingProductReviews
B.D. Wong is back as malevolently sinister Dr. Wu in the DLC “Jurassic World Evolution: Secrets of Dr. Wu”. DLC means Downloadable Content, it’s an add-on to a game. Frontier Development was kind enough to give me the chance to play the DLC and share it with you! First, I suggest before playing the DLC that you complete the main game first and unlock all the dinosaur genomes, building updates, research etc as this will help you have a leg up as this story mode is a bit more challenging! In the DLC you get two new dinosaurs that are part of the missions you unlock, the Troodon, a small carnivore with a poisonous bite and unfortunately these little rascals like to bite EVERYTHING! The second is the Olorotitan, a duck-billed type of dino, which like its cousins in the game, is very temperamental. Overall the DLC is worth the price! The new dinosaurs are fun to have and to
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Creepshow, or as I like to call it; “The best mother fuckin’ horror anthology ever made…period.” You’ve seen it, I’ve sure as shit have seen it…and I know you probably love it as much as your’s cruelly! Well, it just so happens our devilish compatriots at Scream Factory have just issued a special edition Blu-ray release of ol’ Creepy-baby, and I’m fixin’ to tell you what’s what about that…but first I’ll give a quick sinister synopsis for each story contained within this arcane anthology for all none of you that haven’t seen it… After a brief intro segment where a shit heel of a father (genre icon Tom “Thrill Me” Atkins) smacks his kid Billy (Joe Hill…the son of ol’ Stephen King; who just so happened to pen this fearsome feature, and a hell of a writer himself these days) around for reading horror comics we jump into our first tale: Father’s Day is the story of a wealthy and
Continue reading →
GamingNewsProductReviews
The creative folks over at The Bearded Ladies and Funcom were nice enough to allow me to review their new real-time strategy game, “Mutant Year Zero: Road to Eden”. This story merges tactical strategy, stealth, and turn-based combat along with exploration and scavenging. Without any spoilers, the story takes place in the future after humanity pretty much messed everything up and years later the new generation is picking up the pieces. The world is known as “the zone” where it’s not safe to be, the only safe place is a haven called the “Ark”. A special group of explorers known as Stalkers ventures out into the zone to gather supplies and ensure that a race of marauders known as the ghouls are kept at bay. Now come our heroes, a mutant boar named Borman and a Dux the duck. While looking for a lost group of stalkers they meet up with one of the missing stalkers, Selma, she looks human
Continue reading →
MoviesNewsReviews
There has a been a lot of hype surrounding Universal Picture’s crime comedy The Happytime Murders. I’m often leery of movies who have a ton of buzz, more often than not I get disappointed. Luckily, that’s not the case with The Happytime Murders. From director Brian Henson comes this side-splitting thrill ride that puts human detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) and puppet P.I. Phil Phillips (Bill Barretta) on the case of murdered cast members of the Happytime show. The pair, once partners, have a tension-filled relationship and the two are constantly at each other’s throats and slinging insults which makes for a hilarious viewing experience. The star-studded human cast for this flick also includes Maya Rudolph, Elizabeth Banks, Joel McHale, and Leslie David Baker. One thing you should know, while puppets are cute, this movie is NOT for kids. In fact, it’s the most vulgar movie I’ve seen in a long time and I enjoyed the hell out of it.
Continue reading →
Holiday HorrorIndieMoviesReviews
A kid gets possessed by an elf, and gets his dunce of a brother to crawl into an oven where then proceeds to cook him. I say “What the fuck?!!”, and thus begins Elves…a sequel to a film I’ve never seen (The Elf for you keeping score at home)… Things kick into high gear once a group of friends open a chest-full of elf dolls at a holiday soiree. Each friend takes an elf with them and before long they get possessed by the effigies who make them suffer for their “naughtiness”…with predictably murderous results. Will anyone survive the arcane ordeal to see next Christmas? First things first, as mentioned up yonder, I had never laid my eerie eyeballs on The Elf, and fortunately Director Jamaal Burden has crafted a simple tale that’s easy to follow for neophytes to the franchise. What you get is a big ol’ slice of fruit cake as our troubled heroes take on the visage
Continue reading →
Holiday HorrorIndieMoviesReviews
Alexi (Kristina Klebe) heads out with her ultra-bosomy gal pals Dahlia (Susan Slaughter) and Sadie (Hannah Wagner) to help them film the latest installment of their wicked web series Adventure Girls; a show dedicated to exploring abandoned structures…like the recesses of my mind where dignity and shame once did dwell. Out on the road they stop into a local watering hole where they learn kids have turned up slaughtered before heading on to their destination, a dilapidated Christmas based theme park named Santa Land. Once there they meet the kiddie-snatchin’ (and eating) culprit; none other than everyone’s favorite Xmas demon; Krampus…as well as Santa (Barry Bostwick) himself, though he is more of a brawlin’, boozin’ , biker-type rather than the jolly ol’ St. Nick we have become accustomed to. Now it’s up to our comely heroines and Santa to put an end to that Germanic terror’s reign of evil…fuck, we are all going to die, aren’t we? As you may
Continue reading →
IndieMoviesReviews
Alex (Tara Macken) earns some scratch by being the live-in nurse for an elderly woman named Claire (Leslie Easterbrook); and it seems like a rather cake assignment minus changin’ an adult diaper or two. Meanwhile Claire’s estranged, and constantly down on his luck, grandson Danny (Jai Rodriguez) has reunited with Seth and Rudy (played to the hilt by Kevin Sizemore and Jose Rosete respectively), a duo of no-good-nik townies he fucked over in the past, and the trio decide to rob the old bat, with the dastardly duo doing the deed while Danny takes Alex out on a date (plus distraction sex…Danny really suffers for his machinations, eh creeps? It’s like “You dudes get dolled up in spooky masks and struggle to open that safe…I’ll take the heat off of you by getting down and dirty with this outrageously attractive woman!” That ol’ rugged cross is a hard one to bear…). As is often the case, things go south, and
Continue reading →
ForeignMoviesReviews
On the eve of a massive meteor shower, a titanic damaged U.F.O. crash lands in Moscow. This sets off massive confusion among the citizenry with many resisting the arrival of our new-found brothers from the stars, some out of prejudice and others out of more personal reasons, such as Julia (Irina Starshenbaum) who’s best friend Sveta (Darya Rudenok) was inadvertently killed as the craft ripped the city apart during it’s landing. Soon Julia, along with her boyfriend Tyoma (Alexander Petrov) and his friends venture into ground zero to see what just what the aliens, who claim they wish for nothing more than to be left alone and repair their ship, are really up to! Unbeknownst to her pals, Julia finds out a secret about the aliens that causes her to have a change of heart…a change that leads to the fires of revolution and even love. But will all of that be enough to save the city, and just who
Continue reading →
