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Antonio Mayans

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Blu-ray Review: Cecilia (1983)

After some establishing shots featuring zooms on statue penis (as one would naturally expect), we get down to brass tacks; namely the arrival of brat-ass Cecilia (Muriel Montossé) to her home… well almost; before she gets there she teases her driver by getting naked, a game she often plays with the help, who understandably hate it. To that end they’ve orchestrated a revenge; namely raping the woman of the house (all set to bouncy electric organ music that makes things a whole hell of a lot more peppy than you’d anticipate), but their plan backfires like a mother fucker, because she is in to such things, and if anything it gets her horny level over 9,000. Soon our heroine is up to her oft-exposed breasts in raunchy socialite sex parties that offer all manner of delicious debauchery that gets ever-more frenzied. This is cool and all, but how will her relationship with her diplomat husband, André (Antonio Mayans), fare when

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DanXIII

Aug 25, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviewsTrailers

Blu-ray Review: Night of Open Sex (1983)

Moira (Lina Romay) spends her time whorin’ it up and flickin’ her bean on stage… oh and torturing a woman with a curling iron to the (heavily) bearded clam to extract information regarding a stash of gold belonging to a dying Nazi general (Albino Graziani) for her sleazy boyfriend Vic (Miguel Aristu)… as any girl does. Anyhow, that Nazi gold plot comes back here and there, but the real focus here is on showcasing a ton of drum solo scored sex, including extended masturbation scenes with Moira front and center (often gyratin’ away as that all time family favorite tune “The Taste of Your Sperm” rocks n’ rolls it’s way into our hearts and trousers). Eventually gold or some shit… sex! Filled to the bouncin’ boobie brim with baffling choices you simply won’t believe, Jess Franco has really outdone himself with Night of Open Sex… a film that includes Nazis, Gregorian monk chant style music playing over steamy lesbian sex,

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DanXIII

Feb 23, 2020

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Cries of Pleasure (1983)

A body is found floating in a pool as mute simpleton Fenul (Juan Cózar… who also serves as our narrator, lack of speech be damned) strums his gee-tar. Thus begins another loose as a goose adaptation of the writings of pervert par excellence the Marquis De Sade as seen through the leering lens of exploitation maestro Jess Franco. Anyway, Fenul’s job seems to actually be fiddling with his instrument within the walls of his employer, the playboy Antonio’s (Robert Foster) lush mountaintop villa. Speaking of Ant, this mother fucker lives to screw… everyone from his maid (whom he raped as a child, and now is desperately in love with him… yeah… ), to his houseguest Julia (Franco muse Lina Romay) gets the ol’ peen… and to top it off, he’s married to mega-rich Martina (Rocío Freixas), who just got sprung from the loony bin. Insanity, dirty dealings (Antonio plans on pleasuring his wife to death and absconding with her loot),

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DanXIII

Feb 22, 2020

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Diamonds Of Kilimandjaro (1983)

Following a plane crash in deepest Africa, a young girl named Diana is taken in by a native tribe of cannibals who make her father the “Big White Chief”…yeah…Diana grows up and becomes the tripe’s eternally tits-out Goddess (as played by Katja Bienert), and word of her existence travels back to the ears of her ailing Mother. Enter some unscrupulous adventurers that promise to bring her daughter back home safe and sound, and head out into the jungle with Diana’s greedy relatives in tow; relatives that don’t want her in the picture as they are set to inherit the family fortune. As the group press on, they shoot and kill one of Diana’s tribe, which brings the full wrath of the natives down upon the heads of our gaggle of goofs…but not before they “interact” with clumsily integrated stock footage, and make sweet love directly after being almost eaten by crocodiles (see comment previous)…and let’s be honest, who doesn’t find

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DanXIII

Sep 2, 2018

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Golden Temple Amazons (1986)

A gaggle of surly (and mostly bare chested) Amazons ride up to a house and immediately murder a family (as one does)…well not all of the family; they let the young daughter, Liana, live and take her in as one of their own. Time passes and soon Liana’s (Analía Ivars) boobs too fly free in the breeze as she frolics with many a jungle animal, many of whom doubtless wonder how she gets her sky-high mega ’80’s hair to look so good, as I assume there isn’t a lot of Aquanet in the jungle. In time, Liana learns of her past…and why her parents were murdered (for the record her Father stole what passes for “gold” in this film, but is more commonly known as gold-colored tinfoil over rocks, from the Amazon’s hidden golden temple…which is some plywood covered with more of that damned foil…but I guess in a way it actually is gold…comedy gold that is). Our busty protagonist

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DanXIII

Sep 2, 2018

Antonio Mayans

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