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Blu-Ray

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Blu-ray Review: Beast of the Yellow Night (1971)

During World War II, a murdering, raping, shit heel of a human named Langdon (John Ashley) encounters Satan (Vic Diaz) in the woods, and pleads for his life. Ol’ Scratch spares him as long as L-dawg becomes his servant, which he does…I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? Well, Langdon becomes a pseudo-werewolf eventually, so there’s that. Before all that mangy madness though, Langdon inhabits the bodies of various people over a quarter of a century, making them be the worst they can be to give the Devil his due. Eventually Langdon ends up in the body of a dude named Phil…who just so happens to look just like our “hero” (confused yet)? anyway, langdon has enough of Satan’s shit and try’s to enforce his own will into his existence…and that’s where the werewolf comes in as he turns willy-nilly into a mass murdering monster mutt-man. Before long Inspector de Santos (Leopoldo Salcedo) recognizes Langdon and is hot on

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DanXIII

Feb 17, 2019

IndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)

After an opening explaining the evil machinations of a surviving race of Druids known as Sangroids to resurrect their queen via blood draining shenanigans (all provided by a voice over that sounds like an unholy union between James Mason and Dr. Frank N. Furter) we learn just where this evil rite is to take place…no, not at Stonehenge or some other ancient place of pagan worship…nope this thing is going down in the cradle of ultimate demonic terror…Westchester County, New York (shivers). Who can stand in the Druids way as they kidnap the townsfolk and harvest their blood? Well hopefully Don (Bruce Detrick), his girlfriend Jenny (Tanna Hunter), and her father, Dr. Roy Anderson (Norman Kelley) ‘cuz that’s all we got. We’re doomed. Man Invasion of the Blood Farmers has it all. You like overly dramatic stock music that plays as characters merely talk or change their clothes? How about ADR that sounds like it was recorded via a tin

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DanXIII

Feb 16, 2019

ForeignIndieMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Next of Kin (1982)

Linda (Jacki Kerin) inherits a retirement home called Montclare from her mother…now that is one hell of a thing to inherit…I mean what young woman wouldn’t want to own a mega-creepy house jam-packed with weird ass old people, and dreadful secrets (more on that in a tick)? I know for a fact that is exactly the number one wish of women ages 18 to 24…that and like Pogs or some shit… Anyway, Linda reads her mother’s diaries which detail some off-the-wall shit, like the fact someone was watching her and her tenants were dying under some fishy circumstances. Guess what? Like mother like daughter because L-dawg starts to see someone on her ass, and those geriatric jokers in her care begin dropping off…and before long, she is in a fight to keep both her sanity and well-being intact! Filled with breathtaking shot composition, a janky, off-kilter aesthetic, pitch perfect slow-burn pace, stunning location, and genuinely creepy moments, Next of Kin

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DanXIII

Feb 16, 2019

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

Ginny Wainwright (Melissa Sue Anderson) has got it all; she’s a looker, popular as balls, and is a member of the “Top Ten”; an elite group of the most popular and privileged students (a.k.a. obnoxious douche nozzles…mostly anyway). Because this film is older than dirt (from 1981 to be precise, when the legal drinking age was 18…though from the looks of this cast 18 was far in the rear view mirror), these “high school kids” gather at a local bar every night for drinks. As fate, and slasher movie tropes would have it, one night their pal Bernadette (Lesleh Donaldson) fails to show…mainly because a black gloved murderer slashed her throat. As our gang goes about the normal pursuits one does when worried sick about a missing friend; namely jumping drawbridges, racing dirt bikes, having experimental procedures to fix your traumatized brain after a car accident (on that damn bridge again), and stealing underwear (I know that at least one

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DanXIII

Feb 15, 2019

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Nightwing (1979) and Shadow of the Hawk (1976) Double Feature

Mill Creek Entertainment sent over a double feature Blu containing the fright flicks Nightwing and Shadow of the Hawk…two pictures I sure as shit had never heard of…so with out further ado, let’s get acquainted with these and see what’s what boils n’ ghouls! Nightwing: Down New Mexico way, ol’ Youngman Duran (Nick Mancuso) is John Q. Law for the local Hopi reservation…a reservation that’s balls deep in cattle mutilations. Enter Abner Tasupi (George Clutesi) a medicine man that seems to be pushing eleventy billion years old. This coot claims he cast a spell to end the world this very night…well one person’s world did end, Abner’s as by morning he is dead as are a shepherd and his flock. Among that headache, Duran is tasked to keep the grizzly goings-on secret as oil has been discovered on the reservation, and the locals don’t want anything to fuck up that deal let me tell ya. Soon the source of the

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DanXIII

Feb 14, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: Hostel (2005) & Hostel Part II (2007) Horror Double Feature Blu-ray and DVD Combo

Hostel: Horny goofs/college students (same difference) Paxton (Jay Hernandez) and Josh (Derek Richardson) are trekking Europe with their Icelandic pal Óli (Eythor Gudjonsson) letting their dicks lead them to as much sex as humanly possible. Their exploits take them to Slovakia where they stay at an opulent hostel (itself one hell of a movie time fantasy if my experiences are to be trusted…and they are creeps, they are…) sharing a room with the gorgeous Natalya (Barbara Nedeljakova) and Svetlana (Jana Kaderabkova). As expected sex is had…but shit goes south six ways to Sunday when our protagonists find themselves at the mercy of the hostel’s true purpose; a place where unsuspecting travelers are lead to their doom as victims of an elite club of wealthy patrons who get to enact their deepest torture fantasies on live, unwilling victims! Will anyone make it out with their lives and bodies intact? One of the forerunners of the now rather cliche torture porn genre,

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DanXIII

Feb 14, 2019

MoviesReviewsThriller

Blu-ray Review: A Study in Terror (1965)

Victorian England: Saucy Jack is stakin’ and slayin’ and generally rippin’ the ‘hores of Whitechapel a new one! With that level of mayhem on the streets, it doesn’t take long for Sherlock Holmes (John Neville) and Dr. Watson (Donald Houston) to get involved in solvin’ that creepy case right quick…especially after they receive a box containing a surgical bag with the scalpel missing. Their investigations take them through a list of possible suspects and from locations as diverse as a stately aristocratic manor, a pawn shop, and a soup kitchen all in the name of ending the terror of Jack the Ripper before he kills again! Full to the brim with Tempera paint blood, heaving bosoms, fog enshrouded streets and the fun of seeing Holmes and Watson work through one of the most notorious crimes in history; A Study in Terror is one fine time in the ol’ horror biz indeed! Comprised of a superb cast, with Neville and Houston

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DanXIII

Feb 14, 2019

MoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: Horror Express (1972)

China, 1906; Prof. Sir Alexander Saxton LLC Inc. (Christopher Lee) finds a fucked up frozen freak in the middle of a snow covered wasteland. Believing the thing to be some form of missing link, Saxton gets the bright idea to bring it back to Europe via a trans-Siberian express. Before you can say; “Hey man, shouldn’t that monster be stored in a deep freeze or something?” our arcane antagonist thaws out and begins going kill-krazy among the passengers…a feat made easier by it’s ability to blend in among them! The first thing you may notice about Horror Express is that it was one hell of a lavish production. Period costumes, a steam engine, multiple sets…this baby looks like a million bucks (supplemental material reveals the tricks used to deliver this level of production design on a lower-tier budget), and visually stands head and shoulders with the output of the legendary Hammer Studios. Speaking of Big H, this film features fantastic

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DanXIII

Feb 12, 2019

ForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: All the Colors of the Dark (1972)

Jane (Edwige Fenech) is plagued by nightmares. I mean, lose one unborn baby in a horrific car crash and lose your shit why dontcha? Anyway, Jane’s boy toy Richard (George Hilton) is sympathetic, but always away on business so he’s as useless as an asshole with tastebuds, as is her psychiatrist, so she does hwat any sane, rational person would do…she joins a black magic cult at the behest of her new gal pal Mary (Marina Malfatti). Surprisingly group sex and blood consumption lead to a rather shitty path for our heroine, and soon she is at the mercy of the wackiest weirdo in that creepy cult ((Ivan Rassimov); he of the trenchcoat and icy blue eyes…and predilection for murder! Directed by Sergio Martino (The Suspicious Death of a Minor, Screamers, Slave of the Cannibal God…and roughly 4,000 more), All the Colors of the Dark is absolutely packed with suspense and a sense of unease. The viewer is never sure

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DanXIII

Feb 5, 2019

DocumentariesForeignMoviesReviews

Blu-ray Review: All the Colors of Giallo (2019)

Giallo; the word conjures images of black gloved killers who’s identity is revealed late in the ghoulish game, POV murder shots, and stylish direction with aesthetic splendor to spare! For those not in the know, a giallo is an Italian mystery/thriller film, oft times heavy on the ol’ stalk n’ slay…not to mention female flesh…and usually featuring elements of psychological horror and the aforementioned artistic flourishes. Speaking of not in the know, you’ll be a god-damned giallo expert after you check out the subject of this revoltin’ review: Severin’s release of All the Colors of Giallo! Comprised of three discs, All the Colors of Giallo is one hell of a deep dive into the fright flicks so near and dear to the hearts of many a horror hound worldwide. First up we get the eponymous doc, Federico Caddeo’s All the Colors of Giallo that covers the complete history of the giallo; from it’s origins in German krimi (crime) books (and

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DanXIII

Feb 5, 2019

Blu-Ray

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