TagLorenzo Semple Jr.
3 stories
MoviesReviews
Fred Wilson (played to the scenery chewing ultimate by the late Charles Grodin), an executive douche-nozzle of the Petrox Oil Company, believes a mysterious and uncharted island, surrounded by a permanent bank of thick-ass fog (official meteorologist lingo), may be the source of a huge oil deposit, and sets sail with a full crew at his disposal. But alas, the crew is not all that’s aboard, as primate paleontologist Jack Prescott (a mega-laid back Jeff Bridges… yes, I know that’s can go without saying… ) has stowed away on the vessel, and he has all manner of historical accounts of the island they are heading to es no bueno… oh, and that fog mentioned up yonder may be caused by the breath of a giant creature. As if that weren’t enough in the uninvited guests department, the ship also picks up a castaway, an actress named Dwan (don’t ask, it’s fuckin’ stupid… oh and she’s played by the ever-awesome Jessica
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MoviesReviews
Before I begin jawin’ about the movie itself, I feel it appropriate to share some thoughts on Flash Gordon. If you aren’t interested in such things… or having your’s cruelly uncharacteristically lay his soul bare, just skip down a bit. Anyway, back in December of 1980, my desire to see Flash Gordon was at an almost unbelievable level…and my parents blew my mind and agreed to drive me, and the prettiest girl in the second grade who agreed to be my date, many towns over (yes, I grew up in the literal middle of nowhere) to see the film… but mother nature had other plans; and a nor’easter (to those not in the know; Upstate New York has about 14 months of winter per year… at least it did back then) kept us in town, and Altman’s Popeye was what it had to be (and for the record, that is a charming film and a ton of fun… but it
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Comic Books/Graphic NovelsMoviesReviews
After her parents are killed in a cave-in in deepest Africa, young Janet is taken in by the Zambouli tribe where she is viewed as a goddess and given the new handle; Sheena, Queen of the Jungle! Sheena (Tanya Roberts) matures among the tribe in their land of Tigora where she learns the ways of the animals and develops a telepathic bond with them…as one does. Soon our buxom heroine finds herself up to her bleached blonde hairdo in an assassination plot which she must help solve with the assistance of reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), and his cameraman Fletch Agronsky (Donovan Scott)…all while finding the time to ride a zebra bareback and ass around with some chimps and an elephant. Priorities and all that… Look boils n’ ghouls; this is Tarzan with tits and it features all of the lunacy that concept suggests! You get a stunning beauty in Roberts, who is athletic, and fun to watch…even if she
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More from Lorenzo Semple Jr.
MoviesReviews
Fred Wilson (played to the scenery chewing ultimate by the late Charles Grodin), an executive douche-nozzle of the Petrox Oil Company, believes a mysterious and uncharted island, surrounded by a permanent bank of thick-ass fog (official meteorologist lingo), may be the source of a huge oil deposit, and sets sail with a full crew at his disposal. But alas, the crew is not all that’s aboard, as primate paleontologist Jack Prescott (a mega-laid back Jeff Bridges… yes, I know that’s can go without saying… ) has stowed away on the vessel, and he has all manner of historical accounts of the island they are heading to es no bueno… oh, and that fog mentioned up yonder may be caused by the breath of a giant creature. As if that weren’t enough in the uninvited guests department, the ship also picks up a castaway, an actress named Dwan (don’t ask, it’s fuckin’ stupid… oh and she’s played by the ever-awesome Jessica
Continue reading →
MoviesReviews
Before I begin jawin’ about the movie itself, I feel it appropriate to share some thoughts on Flash Gordon. If you aren’t interested in such things… or having your’s cruelly uncharacteristically lay his soul bare, just skip down a bit. Anyway, back in December of 1980, my desire to see Flash Gordon was at an almost unbelievable level…and my parents blew my mind and agreed to drive me, and the prettiest girl in the second grade who agreed to be my date, many towns over (yes, I grew up in the literal middle of nowhere) to see the film… but mother nature had other plans; and a nor’easter (to those not in the know; Upstate New York has about 14 months of winter per year… at least it did back then) kept us in town, and Altman’s Popeye was what it had to be (and for the record, that is a charming film and a ton of fun… but it
Continue reading →
Comic Books/Graphic NovelsMoviesReviews
After her parents are killed in a cave-in in deepest Africa, young Janet is taken in by the Zambouli tribe where she is viewed as a goddess and given the new handle; Sheena, Queen of the Jungle! Sheena (Tanya Roberts) matures among the tribe in their land of Tigora where she learns the ways of the animals and develops a telepathic bond with them…as one does. Soon our buxom heroine finds herself up to her bleached blonde hairdo in an assassination plot which she must help solve with the assistance of reporter Vic Casey (Ted Wass), and his cameraman Fletch Agronsky (Donovan Scott)…all while finding the time to ride a zebra bareback and ass around with some chimps and an elephant. Priorities and all that… Look boils n’ ghouls; this is Tarzan with tits and it features all of the lunacy that concept suggests! You get a stunning beauty in Roberts, who is athletic, and fun to watch…even if she
Continue reading →
