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Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Inferno of Torture (1969)

In nineteenth century Japan, Yumi (Yumika Katayama) is balls deep in trouble with a capital “T” and that stands for “loan shark”. Okay, it doesn’t, but a loan shark is on her ass for debts owed. To that end she accepts a job as a geisha… or so she thinks, as it soon becomes obvious she’s workin’ the ass trade. Yumi ain’t exactly wild about that fact, but in her position she doesn’t have much of a choice. Another thing she has no say in is the tattooing her madam, Otatsu (Mieko Fujimoto), forces the women in her employ to get to appear more exotic to the high paying Caucasian clientele. Said tattooing is administered by Horihide (Teruo Yoshida), whom Yumi develops a relationship with much to Otatsu’s chagrin. This makes Yumi’s life even more of a living hell, as does the arrival of a rival tattooist that wants to make her body his canvas! Directed by Teruo Ishii, Inferno

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 26, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Mad Fox (1962)

Down Medieval Kyoto way, the skies are ablaze with a fucked-up, ill-omen, phenomenon… a phenomenon that sets the royal palace on it’s collective, superstitious, arse. To that end, the Court Astrologer, Yasunori, is summoned to the palace, but as he journeys forth, he gets himself an incurable case of the murders. Come to find out, Yasunori’s wife is a bit of a black widow, and now that her hubby is tits up, she can focus on her paramour Doman (Shinji Amano). And since the deadly duo seem to have a knack for bumpin’ folks off, they also kill Yasunori’s adopted daughter for shits n’ grins. Fortunately, her main-squeeze Yasuna (Hashizô Ôkawa) escapes their evil clutches… but he’s half-way to Crazy Town when he’s waylayed by bandits. Naturally he’s rescued by masked fox spirits, as is so often the case, and his destiny will never be the same! The Mad Fox is a delirious hodge-podge of kabuki theater, stagey sets, period

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 26, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Before the five minute mark of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark; the titular character (portrayed by Cassandra Peterson) is groped by her new boss… and then she proceeds to quit her shitty job, and push that grabby bastard right through a desk. This is because Elvira kicks major ass… and guess what, so does this film! After the aforementioned bad touch; Elvira plans on taking her act (which seems to vary from Horror Host to Vegas showgirl… and some unholy combination of both) to Vegas… but her prospective producers are demanding a large sum to put on her show… and with her source of income now in the zero range, that ain’t gonna happen. Luckily our heroine gets a telegram informing her that her Great-Aunt Morgana has gone tits up, and Elvira is set to score big in the will; so she loads up her creepy caddy (the Macabre-mobile by name) and drives off to Fallwell, Massachusetts, where shortly after

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Wind (1986)

Super-horny famous novelist Sian Anderson (genre legend Meg Foster, she of Carpenter’s They Live, and Masters of the Universe to name but two) is ready to wing her way to Greece to finish her latest murder mystery novel. Once there she is shown her lodgings by pompous British windbag Elias Appleby (portrayed by a scene stealing Robert Morley), warned of the islands wind situation (spoiler: It ain’t great), and introduced to the villas deranged handyman Phil (portrayed by an equally scene stealing Wings Hauser). So, long story short; our heroine witnesses Phil possibly putting a murder on Appleby and soon she must not only deal with the forces of nature battering her left and right, but with ol’ Phil deciding to do a stalk n’ slay routine on her. Yeah, she’s not going to get much writing done… The Wind is a surprisingly fantastic entry in the rather over-crowded genre of ’80’s slasher flicks… and that has nothing to do

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 4, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: BloodTide (1982)

Ever go looking for your missing sister in Greece only to have your life fucked up six ways to Sunday by a sea monster that can only be appeased by the blood of virgins? Sure, we all have… and so has Neil (The Karate Kid‘s Martin Kove) who has come to that beautiful island along with his wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) to track down his sis Madeline (Deborah Shelton) who has pulled a vanishing act. Once there they encounter miserable ol’ bastard Nereus (José Ferrer), as well as treasure hunter Frye (the legendary James Earl Jones cuttin’ himself a big ol’ slice of ham), over-sexed space-case Barbara (Lydia Cornell who starred in the Cosmic Cow vehicle Too Close for Comfort on the ol’ boob tube)… and his sister (also a space case)… wait, that’s it, less than fifteen minutes in and it’s “mystery solved?” Obviously there’s more to this terror tale, and as you may have ascertained from my

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 3, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: White Fire (1984)

White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 3, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Why Don’t You Just Die! (2018)

Matvey (Aleksander Kuznetsov) is dating aspiring actress Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), and holy fuck does she have some Kong-sized daddy issues… like she wants the Ben Grimm lookin’ mother fucker named Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) to take a permanent dirt nap for the rather unpleasant crimes he allegedly committed against her when she was young. While the claims of Olya are suspect at best, ol’ Andrey is guilty of plenty of other crimes… crimes made easy given his status as a cop… a cop with an equally corrupt partner… and the duo have a wild hair up their collective asses about some dough they were screwed out of. So over comes ol’ Romeo Matvey with a hammer to kill Big A in his own apartment… small problem, Andrey is near indestructible, and Matvey seems to be as well… what follows is an explosive blast of cartoony, unbelievably violent, and oft times bloody confrontations within the small apartment that hasn’t been seen on

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 3, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Woman (2011)

Chris Cleek (Sean Bridgers) has the goddamned life what with being a successful lawyer and family man and all… but one bad decision could bring all that to a full fuckin’ stop believe you me! What sort of decision would that be I can just hear you lot ask with baited breath? Well, let me tell you; taking home a near-feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) that you discovered on a hunting trip and imprisoning her in your cellar in an attempt to make her civilized would definitely fit the bill… and that’s exactly what Chris does. To his credit, he tells his family of his intentions… much to the chagrin of his wife Belle (Angela Bettis)… but his methods to break her will are a tad (read: absolutely fuckin’ off-the-charts) misogynistic and oh-so-very wrong as-all-fuck. As you can imagine “the woman” doesn’t cotton to this for the long term and soon she begins to fight back against her forced “training”… and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 2, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Beyond the Door (1974)

Five minutes into Beyond the Door you get narration from ol’ Satan himself, Jesus with tits n’ bush, a basic premise that manages to combine The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby, a funk song about the devil (which the musicians are told isn’t as good as their fap sessions), and a kid drinking mother fuckin’ Campbell’s soup straight from the mother fuckin’ can like a mother fuckin’ boss. I feel like “5 skulling” this bad bitch right here and now, but there is so very, very much more… Anyhow, Jessica (Juliet Mills) and her music producer beau Robert (Gabriele Lavia)… a man that loves reading about fish fucking and whom the children lovingly refer to as “asshole”… have found themselves with a new baby on the way, even though Jess is on the pill. Speaking of that finicky fetus, it’s growing at an accelerated rate and Jess is lossing her ever-lovin’ mind in various and sundry violent ways! Meanwhile that soup

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 28, 2020
Horror Fuel

Maniac (1980) – 4K UHD Blu-ray Review

Frank Zito (Joe Spinell) didn’t exactly have the best of childhoods what with growin’ up the son of an abusive prostitute and all…but damn it; a boy’ll love his mommy no matter her faults. You can just imagine how ol’ Frank feels when his mother finally buys the farm courtesy of a car accident…yup, he’s all broken up all right…so much so that he wanders ol’ Manhattan-town and murders rando women (hookers, disco chics, nurses…Tom Savini…wait, what?!!) whom he scalps and places their hairy brain flaps on top of mannequins that he keeps littered around his unreasonably terrifying (and purple) studio apartment. All this horror biz does get put on hold here and there however when Frank meets a gorgeous photographer (Caroline Munro)…a girl that makes him function like an actual human being…but how long will that last? Comprised mainly of a series of hardcore murder-filled vignettes hung on the barest skeleton of a plot (lunatic kills women and keeps

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 19, 2020

More from MVD Entertainment

Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Inferno of Torture (1969)

In nineteenth century Japan, Yumi (Yumika Katayama) is balls deep in trouble with a capital “T” and that stands for “loan shark”. Okay, it doesn’t, but a loan shark is on her ass for debts owed. To that end she accepts a job as a geisha… or so she thinks, as it soon becomes obvious she’s workin’ the ass trade. Yumi ain’t exactly wild about that fact, but in her position she doesn’t have much of a choice. Another thing she has no say in is the tattooing her madam, Otatsu (Mieko Fujimoto), forces the women in her employ to get to appear more exotic to the high paying Caucasian clientele. Said tattooing is administered by Horihide (Teruo Yoshida), whom Yumi develops a relationship with much to Otatsu’s chagrin. This makes Yumi’s life even more of a living hell, as does the arrival of a rival tattooist that wants to make her body his canvas! Directed by Teruo Ishii, Inferno

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 26, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Mad Fox (1962)

Down Medieval Kyoto way, the skies are ablaze with a fucked-up, ill-omen, phenomenon… a phenomenon that sets the royal palace on it’s collective, superstitious, arse. To that end, the Court Astrologer, Yasunori, is summoned to the palace, but as he journeys forth, he gets himself an incurable case of the murders. Come to find out, Yasunori’s wife is a bit of a black widow, and now that her hubby is tits up, she can focus on her paramour Doman (Shinji Amano). And since the deadly duo seem to have a knack for bumpin’ folks off, they also kill Yasunori’s adopted daughter for shits n’ grins. Fortunately, her main-squeeze Yasuna (Hashizô Ôkawa) escapes their evil clutches… but he’s half-way to Crazy Town when he’s waylayed by bandits. Naturally he’s rescued by masked fox spirits, as is so often the case, and his destiny will never be the same! The Mad Fox is a delirious hodge-podge of kabuki theater, stagey sets, period

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 26, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988)

Before the five minute mark of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark; the titular character (portrayed by Cassandra Peterson) is groped by her new boss… and then she proceeds to quit her shitty job, and push that grabby bastard right through a desk. This is because Elvira kicks major ass… and guess what, so does this film! After the aforementioned bad touch; Elvira plans on taking her act (which seems to vary from Horror Host to Vegas showgirl… and some unholy combination of both) to Vegas… but her prospective producers are demanding a large sum to put on her show… and with her source of income now in the zero range, that ain’t gonna happen. Luckily our heroine gets a telegram informing her that her Great-Aunt Morgana has gone tits up, and Elvira is set to score big in the will; so she loads up her creepy caddy (the Macabre-mobile by name) and drives off to Fallwell, Massachusetts, where shortly after

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 7, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Wind (1986)

Super-horny famous novelist Sian Anderson (genre legend Meg Foster, she of Carpenter’s They Live, and Masters of the Universe to name but two) is ready to wing her way to Greece to finish her latest murder mystery novel. Once there she is shown her lodgings by pompous British windbag Elias Appleby (portrayed by a scene stealing Robert Morley), warned of the islands wind situation (spoiler: It ain’t great), and introduced to the villas deranged handyman Phil (portrayed by an equally scene stealing Wings Hauser). So, long story short; our heroine witnesses Phil possibly putting a murder on Appleby and soon she must not only deal with the forces of nature battering her left and right, but with ol’ Phil deciding to do a stalk n’ slay routine on her. Yeah, she’s not going to get much writing done… The Wind is a surprisingly fantastic entry in the rather over-crowded genre of ’80’s slasher flicks… and that has nothing to do

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 4, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: BloodTide (1982)

Ever go looking for your missing sister in Greece only to have your life fucked up six ways to Sunday by a sea monster that can only be appeased by the blood of virgins? Sure, we all have… and so has Neil (The Karate Kid‘s Martin Kove) who has come to that beautiful island along with his wife Sherry (Mary Louise Weller) to track down his sis Madeline (Deborah Shelton) who has pulled a vanishing act. Once there they encounter miserable ol’ bastard Nereus (José Ferrer), as well as treasure hunter Frye (the legendary James Earl Jones cuttin’ himself a big ol’ slice of ham), over-sexed space-case Barbara (Lydia Cornell who starred in the Cosmic Cow vehicle Too Close for Comfort on the ol’ boob tube)… and his sister (also a space case)… wait, that’s it, less than fifteen minutes in and it’s “mystery solved?” Obviously there’s more to this terror tale, and as you may have ascertained from my

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 3, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: White Fire (1984)

White Fire, or as I like to call it “What in the Fuck?!!“, is the tale of smart-ass brother and sister duo Bo (The Exterminator himself Robert Ginty) and Ingrid (Belinda Mayne)… and what a life they’ve had; to wit: They’ve seen their parents killed before their eyes thanks to some para-military thugs, become employees in a diamond mine who’s offices and administrative staff like they just tumbled out of the TV show V, and started a side-hustle as diamond thieves (beleaguered by Turkish criminals as is so often the case nowhere ever). Anyway, that last plot point only becomes more ludicrous when our heroes are privy to the discovery of the legendary white fire diamond, a preposterously sized gem that is so shit-hot it burns the flesh of any dumb ass who touches it… and after tragedy and a bar fight featuring roughly 4,567 mustaches, Bo sets out to pinch that rock pronto! Speaking of mustaches, Fred “The Hammer”

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 3, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Why Don’t You Just Die! (2018)

Matvey (Aleksander Kuznetsov) is dating aspiring actress Olya (Evgeniya Kregzhde), and holy fuck does she have some Kong-sized daddy issues… like she wants the Ben Grimm lookin’ mother fucker named Andrey (Vitaliy Khaev) to take a permanent dirt nap for the rather unpleasant crimes he allegedly committed against her when she was young. While the claims of Olya are suspect at best, ol’ Andrey is guilty of plenty of other crimes… crimes made easy given his status as a cop… a cop with an equally corrupt partner… and the duo have a wild hair up their collective asses about some dough they were screwed out of. So over comes ol’ Romeo Matvey with a hammer to kill Big A in his own apartment… small problem, Andrey is near indestructible, and Matvey seems to be as well… what follows is an explosive blast of cartoony, unbelievably violent, and oft times bloody confrontations within the small apartment that hasn’t been seen on

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 3, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Woman (2011)

Chris Cleek (Sean Bridgers) has the goddamned life what with being a successful lawyer and family man and all… but one bad decision could bring all that to a full fuckin’ stop believe you me! What sort of decision would that be I can just hear you lot ask with baited breath? Well, let me tell you; taking home a near-feral woman (Pollyanna McIntosh) that you discovered on a hunting trip and imprisoning her in your cellar in an attempt to make her civilized would definitely fit the bill… and that’s exactly what Chris does. To his credit, he tells his family of his intentions… much to the chagrin of his wife Belle (Angela Bettis)… but his methods to break her will are a tad (read: absolutely fuckin’ off-the-charts) misogynistic and oh-so-very wrong as-all-fuck. As you can imagine “the woman” doesn’t cotton to this for the long term and soon she begins to fight back against her forced “training”… and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jun 2, 2020
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Beyond the Door (1974)

Five minutes into Beyond the Door you get narration from ol’ Satan himself, Jesus with tits n’ bush, a basic premise that manages to combine The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby, a funk song about the devil (which the musicians are told isn’t as good as their fap sessions), and a kid drinking mother fuckin’ Campbell’s soup straight from the mother fuckin’ can like a mother fuckin’ boss. I feel like “5 skulling” this bad bitch right here and now, but there is so very, very much more… Anyhow, Jessica (Juliet Mills) and her music producer beau Robert (Gabriele Lavia)… a man that loves reading about fish fucking and whom the children lovingly refer to as “asshole”… have found themselves with a new baby on the way, even though Jess is on the pill. Speaking of that finicky fetus, it’s growing at an accelerated rate and Jess is lossing her ever-lovin’ mind in various and sundry violent ways! Meanwhile that soup

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 28, 2020
Horror Fuel

Maniac (1980) – 4K UHD Blu-ray Review

Frank Zito (Joe Spinell) didn’t exactly have the best of childhoods what with growin’ up the son of an abusive prostitute and all…but damn it; a boy’ll love his mommy no matter her faults. You can just imagine how ol’ Frank feels when his mother finally buys the farm courtesy of a car accident…yup, he’s all broken up all right…so much so that he wanders ol’ Manhattan-town and murders rando women (hookers, disco chics, nurses…Tom Savini…wait, what?!!) whom he scalps and places their hairy brain flaps on top of mannequins that he keeps littered around his unreasonably terrifying (and purple) studio apartment. All this horror biz does get put on hold here and there however when Frank meets a gorgeous photographer (Caroline Munro)…a girl that makes him function like an actual human being…but how long will that last? Comprised mainly of a series of hardcore murder-filled vignettes hung on the barest skeleton of a plot (lunatic kills women and keeps

Continue reading →
DanXIII
May 19, 2020
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