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Horror Fuel

Blu-Ray Review: Weird Science (1985)

Uber-nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own devices one fateful Friday, and after viewing Frankenstein on TV get the shit-hot idea to create their own woman to end their lonely ways like a couple of less drunk (for the moment)/more horny Colin Clives. Utilizing improbable computer simulations, an unauthorized entrance to top-secret government programs, scanned girlie magazines, footage of Diamond David Lee Roth, and a half-assed magic ceremony our heroes succeed, and the girl of their dreams, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), arrives on the scene from the hot pink ether. With Lisa’s magic and sex appeal the boys get lessons in life and a new-found popularity, but will it be enough to help them obtain real girlfriends and keep them out of the ham-fisted abusive clutches of Wyatt’s psychotic older brother Chet (a scene stealing Bill Paxton)…not to mention survive the party of the century Lisa throws in their honor (which comes complete with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Critters Attack! (2019)

Those flesh eating maniacs from beyond the stars, the Crites, once again touch down in a rural town and if there’s one thing you can bet on it’s that their hunger hasn’t abated since the last time they were here. Soon, this will make life difficult for young Drea (Tashiana Washington); a small town girl with big dreams who has taken on a babysitting job for a college professor who’s school she is hoping to schmooze her way into after being denied a scholarship. You see, Drea takes her charges on a lil’ nature walk (with her own alien-obsessed little brother tagging along), but unfortunately for her, those horrendous hairballs are callin’ the wicked woods home these days so these folks are going to be in for one hell of a fight if they want to survive this night of a million teeth and claws! I’ve never made it a secret that Critters was my all-time fav of the small,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Trespassers (2019)

Here they are cats n’ creeps; Sarah (Angela Trimbur) and Joseph (Zach Avery) the newest couple engaged in that hoary ol’ fright flick trope; the young married folks suffering a rough patch that make the baffling decision to hole up in some remote location to fix their issues (as if being sandwiched together somewhere unable to get away from one another won’t just exacerbate things…) Anyhow, the remote location in question is a desert domicile situated in the Mojave…a house the couple is surprised to find empty upon their arrival as they had agreed to meet the owners upon check-in, but since this is a horror picture, they got their asses all murdered up courtesy a trio of masked maniacs (we’ll get back to them). Complicating that relationship healing is the arrival of Sarah’s pals Estelle (Janel Parrish) and her boyfriend/obnoxious ass Victor (Jonathan Howard), as well as a mysterious motorist with car trouble (Fairuza Balk) and eventually two local

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 12, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Chill Factor (1993)

The Chill Factor kicks off as every great horror film should; with about eight hours of voice over exposition from an old lady (Barbara Claman doing her best Eileen Brennan) followed by people assing around on snowmobiles. Speaking of those sleds, they are piloted by our heroes; a gaggle of friends looking for some new snowmobile adventures…as are we all, amirite? At the local watering hole they learn of a nearby frozen lake they can try their hand at…this of course goes all fucky, and one of the goofs suffers a horrendous accident, forcing the group to seek shelter at a nearby abandoned camp. Once there they pass the time by using an insanely evil looking spirit board (it has an eyeball glued right onto the mother fucker…why would you even mess with that nasty shit?), having sex sessions that last exhausting seconds in length, and discovering the dark history of that demonic domicile…a history that’s about to intrude into

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: This Island Earth (1955)

Square-jawed jet pilot cum nuclear physicist Cal Meacham’s (Rex Reason) life is going all fucky; his plane almost crashes but is saved by an eerie green light that lands his craft safely, then he receives parts for some shitting thing called an “interroceter” (truthfully it’s a flat-screen TV with a Skype feature…which in ’55 was amazeballs A.F., but now is merely a cumbersome cellphone…and with the way it overheats and explodes, it’s obviously a Samsung) that when put together puts him in contact with a high-headed, smug looking mutha called Exeter (Jeff Morrow) who sends ol’ Cal to a secret location to work on a mysterious project involving energy research. Once there Cal discovers his old flame Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) is also working on the project…a project they soon realize involves brainwashing and changing the personalities of those involved, but that’s not all; as it’s also sponsored by aliens from the planet Metaluna who need a new energy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 7, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The New York Ripper (1982)

A dog discovers a severed hand in ol’ Manhattan town, and because this isn’t a Hanna-Barbera cartoon doesn’t immediately take on solving the murder mystery. Nope, that task falls on the world weary, prostitute fuckin’ shoulders of Lt. Fred Williams (Jack Hedley) who joins forces with psychoanalyst Dr. Paul Davis (Paolo Malco) to try and solve the case…and their asses better make like Sherlock Holmes toot-fucking-sweet ‘cuz the body count is getting rather high, as our duck-quacking psychopath carves up the ladies of The Big Apple like a Thanksgiving turkey! Holy hell is this one full-on sleazy, gory masterpiece boils n’ ghouls! Under he steady hand of maestro of mayhem, the legendary Lucio Fulci (who naturally makes a cameo in the film as well as the Chief of Police), The New York Ripper is a tale filled to the beastly brim with live sex shows, gallons of vivid crimson blood, even more naked flesh, brutal violence, toe-banging…and plenty more bang

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Crybaby Bridge: A Louisiana Urban Legend (2019)

Down Louisiana way, two dudes, Lionel (Adrian Richard) and Derek (Zakery Jones) get a wild hair up their ass and head out to a supposedly cursed bridge in the middle of nowhere to conduct a lil’ paranormal investigation. Back in town at the local watering hole, the duo’s girlfriends, Imee (Anna Medley) and Corrie (Stephanie Wells) discuss the grizzly legend of the bridge before being interrupted by a stranger (Joey Alonzo) that knows all to well that the legends are in fact a horrifying reality. Our heroes are going to have one hell of a rough fuckin’ night… Crybaby Bridge is as solid a sinister short as your’s cruelly has ever seen! Writer (along with Joey Brana)/Director J.P. Willie delivers a fully realized mythology set in a world of personable, down home folks that are ill-equipped to withstand the sinister supernatural events they get involved in. Adding to the ambiance is cinematography that shifts depending on the mood; from slick

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Music Review: Dracula Party: The Devil Wears a Mask E.P. (2019)

I’ve been following Seattle Washington’s Darkwave shock rockers Ghosts in the Graveyard since the beginning, so when they went on hiatus I was worried I’d never get their brand of synths and scares again… Such was not the case however, as the leader o’ this gang o’ ghouls Byron C. Miller, announced he’d be creating more monstrous melodies under the name Dracula Party (along with Chris Longo) and I was pleased as putrid punch when he sent me the bands debut E.P. The Devil Wears a Mask for revoltin’ review! Featuring five tracks of arcane audio, four originals and one cover tune (Nine Inch Nails The Becoming if you are keeping score at home), this E.P. presents musical journeys into landscapes full of vampires, demented Halloween shenanigans, killer robots, and Clive Barker inspired magik respectively. As you can doubtless surmise, Miller is a true monster kid through and through, and he wears his horror biz passions on his sinister sleeve…which

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Leopard Man (1943)

Kiki Walker (Jean Brooks) is losing her audience at the New Mexico club in which she performs to a Latin dancer named Clo-Clo (Margo), so her manager, Jerry (Dennis O’Keefe), gets the shit-hot idea to add a leopard into her act…and seriously, what could go wrong shoving a large, angry cat into a noisy room of half-drunk folks? Naturally, the answer to that is everything, as Kiki’s rival spooks the beast which exits stage left and goes on a maul-spree around the countryside…but there may be more to the killings than appears on the surface. Filled with a nice sense of mounting tension, creepy atmospherics (no surprise with the legendary Val Lewton serving as producer of the film), and even a dash of mystery, The Leopard Man is a damn solid low-budget shocker. O’Keefe makes for a fine square-jawed hero, the supporting players are charismatic and their characters have surprising depth (especially Margo’s Clo-Clo who has aspirations of wealth and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Night Killer (1990)

Claudio Fragasso’s Night Killer begins the only way it possibly could; in Virginia Beach…oh, and also with ultra-raunchy music, a herkin’-jerkin’ dance routine, and a flabbergasted dance choreographer who seems to have forgotten 90% of her lines (and who’s death scene seems to be played to the cheap seats located somewhere in Antarctica…and please keep an eye on the dancers who strike a pose as her body hits the floor) there’s also a tit or two, blood, and a killer in a rather awesome monster mask. We are off to a rock solid start here boils n’ ghouls… Cut to suburbia where writer Melanie Beck (Tara Buckman) spends her days eating ham sandwiches, fondling her naked breasts, and over-reacting to phone calls (on a telephone who’s ring sounds like a parakeet swallowed a laser gun) from a dude with the most preposterous voice ever committed to film…as one does. Speaking of phone calls, she soon receives a ringy-dingy from our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 5, 2019

More from #review

Horror Fuel

Blu-Ray Review: Weird Science (1985)

Uber-nerds Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are left to their own devices one fateful Friday, and after viewing Frankenstein on TV get the shit-hot idea to create their own woman to end their lonely ways like a couple of less drunk (for the moment)/more horny Colin Clives. Utilizing improbable computer simulations, an unauthorized entrance to top-secret government programs, scanned girlie magazines, footage of Diamond David Lee Roth, and a half-assed magic ceremony our heroes succeed, and the girl of their dreams, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock), arrives on the scene from the hot pink ether. With Lisa’s magic and sex appeal the boys get lessons in life and a new-found popularity, but will it be enough to help them obtain real girlfriends and keep them out of the ham-fisted abusive clutches of Wyatt’s psychotic older brother Chet (a scene stealing Bill Paxton)…not to mention survive the party of the century Lisa throws in their honor (which comes complete with

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Critters Attack! (2019)

Those flesh eating maniacs from beyond the stars, the Crites, once again touch down in a rural town and if there’s one thing you can bet on it’s that their hunger hasn’t abated since the last time they were here. Soon, this will make life difficult for young Drea (Tashiana Washington); a small town girl with big dreams who has taken on a babysitting job for a college professor who’s school she is hoping to schmooze her way into after being denied a scholarship. You see, Drea takes her charges on a lil’ nature walk (with her own alien-obsessed little brother tagging along), but unfortunately for her, those horrendous hairballs are callin’ the wicked woods home these days so these folks are going to be in for one hell of a fight if they want to survive this night of a million teeth and claws! I’ve never made it a secret that Critters was my all-time fav of the small,

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 14, 2019
Horror Fuel

Movie Review: Trespassers (2019)

Here they are cats n’ creeps; Sarah (Angela Trimbur) and Joseph (Zach Avery) the newest couple engaged in that hoary ol’ fright flick trope; the young married folks suffering a rough patch that make the baffling decision to hole up in some remote location to fix their issues (as if being sandwiched together somewhere unable to get away from one another won’t just exacerbate things…) Anyhow, the remote location in question is a desert domicile situated in the Mojave…a house the couple is surprised to find empty upon their arrival as they had agreed to meet the owners upon check-in, but since this is a horror picture, they got their asses all murdered up courtesy a trio of masked maniacs (we’ll get back to them). Complicating that relationship healing is the arrival of Sarah’s pals Estelle (Janel Parrish) and her boyfriend/obnoxious ass Victor (Jonathan Howard), as well as a mysterious motorist with car trouble (Fairuza Balk) and eventually two local

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 12, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Chill Factor (1993)

The Chill Factor kicks off as every great horror film should; with about eight hours of voice over exposition from an old lady (Barbara Claman doing her best Eileen Brennan) followed by people assing around on snowmobiles. Speaking of those sleds, they are piloted by our heroes; a gaggle of friends looking for some new snowmobile adventures…as are we all, amirite? At the local watering hole they learn of a nearby frozen lake they can try their hand at…this of course goes all fucky, and one of the goofs suffers a horrendous accident, forcing the group to seek shelter at a nearby abandoned camp. Once there they pass the time by using an insanely evil looking spirit board (it has an eyeball glued right onto the mother fucker…why would you even mess with that nasty shit?), having sex sessions that last exhausting seconds in length, and discovering the dark history of that demonic domicile…a history that’s about to intrude into

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 10, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: This Island Earth (1955)

Square-jawed jet pilot cum nuclear physicist Cal Meacham’s (Rex Reason) life is going all fucky; his plane almost crashes but is saved by an eerie green light that lands his craft safely, then he receives parts for some shitting thing called an “interroceter” (truthfully it’s a flat-screen TV with a Skype feature…which in ’55 was amazeballs A.F., but now is merely a cumbersome cellphone…and with the way it overheats and explodes, it’s obviously a Samsung) that when put together puts him in contact with a high-headed, smug looking mutha called Exeter (Jeff Morrow) who sends ol’ Cal to a secret location to work on a mysterious project involving energy research. Once there Cal discovers his old flame Dr. Ruth Adams (Faith Domergue) is also working on the project…a project they soon realize involves brainwashing and changing the personalities of those involved, but that’s not all; as it’s also sponsored by aliens from the planet Metaluna who need a new energy

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 7, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The New York Ripper (1982)

A dog discovers a severed hand in ol’ Manhattan town, and because this isn’t a Hanna-Barbera cartoon doesn’t immediately take on solving the murder mystery. Nope, that task falls on the world weary, prostitute fuckin’ shoulders of Lt. Fred Williams (Jack Hedley) who joins forces with psychoanalyst Dr. Paul Davis (Paolo Malco) to try and solve the case…and their asses better make like Sherlock Holmes toot-fucking-sweet ‘cuz the body count is getting rather high, as our duck-quacking psychopath carves up the ladies of The Big Apple like a Thanksgiving turkey! Holy hell is this one full-on sleazy, gory masterpiece boils n’ ghouls! Under he steady hand of maestro of mayhem, the legendary Lucio Fulci (who naturally makes a cameo in the film as well as the Chief of Police), The New York Ripper is a tale filled to the beastly brim with live sex shows, gallons of vivid crimson blood, even more naked flesh, brutal violence, toe-banging…and plenty more bang

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Short Film Review: Crybaby Bridge: A Louisiana Urban Legend (2019)

Down Louisiana way, two dudes, Lionel (Adrian Richard) and Derek (Zakery Jones) get a wild hair up their ass and head out to a supposedly cursed bridge in the middle of nowhere to conduct a lil’ paranormal investigation. Back in town at the local watering hole, the duo’s girlfriends, Imee (Anna Medley) and Corrie (Stephanie Wells) discuss the grizzly legend of the bridge before being interrupted by a stranger (Joey Alonzo) that knows all to well that the legends are in fact a horrifying reality. Our heroes are going to have one hell of a rough fuckin’ night… Crybaby Bridge is as solid a sinister short as your’s cruelly has ever seen! Writer (along with Joey Brana)/Director J.P. Willie delivers a fully realized mythology set in a world of personable, down home folks that are ill-equipped to withstand the sinister supernatural events they get involved in. Adding to the ambiance is cinematography that shifts depending on the mood; from slick

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Music Review: Dracula Party: The Devil Wears a Mask E.P. (2019)

I’ve been following Seattle Washington’s Darkwave shock rockers Ghosts in the Graveyard since the beginning, so when they went on hiatus I was worried I’d never get their brand of synths and scares again… Such was not the case however, as the leader o’ this gang o’ ghouls Byron C. Miller, announced he’d be creating more monstrous melodies under the name Dracula Party (along with Chris Longo) and I was pleased as putrid punch when he sent me the bands debut E.P. The Devil Wears a Mask for revoltin’ review! Featuring five tracks of arcane audio, four originals and one cover tune (Nine Inch Nails The Becoming if you are keeping score at home), this E.P. presents musical journeys into landscapes full of vampires, demented Halloween shenanigans, killer robots, and Clive Barker inspired magik respectively. As you can doubtless surmise, Miller is a true monster kid through and through, and he wears his horror biz passions on his sinister sleeve…which

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: The Leopard Man (1943)

Kiki Walker (Jean Brooks) is losing her audience at the New Mexico club in which she performs to a Latin dancer named Clo-Clo (Margo), so her manager, Jerry (Dennis O’Keefe), gets the shit-hot idea to add a leopard into her act…and seriously, what could go wrong shoving a large, angry cat into a noisy room of half-drunk folks? Naturally, the answer to that is everything, as Kiki’s rival spooks the beast which exits stage left and goes on a maul-spree around the countryside…but there may be more to the killings than appears on the surface. Filled with a nice sense of mounting tension, creepy atmospherics (no surprise with the legendary Val Lewton serving as producer of the film), and even a dash of mystery, The Leopard Man is a damn solid low-budget shocker. O’Keefe makes for a fine square-jawed hero, the supporting players are charismatic and their characters have surprising depth (especially Margo’s Clo-Clo who has aspirations of wealth and

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 6, 2019
Horror Fuel

Blu-ray Review: Night Killer (1990)

Claudio Fragasso’s Night Killer begins the only way it possibly could; in Virginia Beach…oh, and also with ultra-raunchy music, a herkin’-jerkin’ dance routine, and a flabbergasted dance choreographer who seems to have forgotten 90% of her lines (and who’s death scene seems to be played to the cheap seats located somewhere in Antarctica…and please keep an eye on the dancers who strike a pose as her body hits the floor) there’s also a tit or two, blood, and a killer in a rather awesome monster mask. We are off to a rock solid start here boils n’ ghouls… Cut to suburbia where writer Melanie Beck (Tara Buckman) spends her days eating ham sandwiches, fondling her naked breasts, and over-reacting to phone calls (on a telephone who’s ring sounds like a parakeet swallowed a laser gun) from a dude with the most preposterous voice ever committed to film…as one does. Speaking of phone calls, she soon receives a ringy-dingy from our

Continue reading →
DanXIII
Jul 5, 2019
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