Movie Review: Cannibals and Carpet Fitters (2017)

November 24, 2018

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Cupid Carpets sends it’s biggest and brightest out to a remote country mansion where a huge carpeting job awaits. Since this is a horror site, you can guess this film has more on it’s mind than tacks n’ berber…and soon it is revealed the manse is home to a cannibalistic clan named the Hannings (and comprised of a loving Mom and her four ravenous, inbred sons). Will our heroes make it out of that arcane abode with their hides intact? Will they actually lay any carpet? Will you actually laugh at this horror comedy?
As far as that last point is concerned, I can assure you that the laughs are plentiful in Cannibals and Carpet Fitters; a feat for which Writer Richard Lee O’Donnell and Director James Bushe should be lauded . While not every joke and jest hits the beastly bullseye, the majority do, and the comedic timing and chemistry among our characters, in particular main rug doctors Colin and Dean (played to the hilt by Darren Sean Enright and O’Donnell; respectively) is top shelf.
Adding to the “horror” element of this horror comedy are some truly excellent gore effects, and the film is generous with the red sauce for sure and that will doubtlessly be much appreciated by horror hounds that may be reticent to check the film out due to the comedic aspect present. Also there are some genuine shocks to be had (not to mention some brutal brawling) that would be right at home in a straight up fright flick…but to talk more of those would lessen their impact, and you know that ain’t the style of your’s cruelly.
On the negative side, there is some uneven acting here ant there, and as mentioned previous; some of the ha-ha falls on the flat side. Minor quibbles for sure, especially given the quality of the rest of the picture.
If you are in the mood for some guffaws with your gore, or are looking for something that would make a nice follow up to Shaun of the Dead on your next movie night, then I urge you to give Cannibals and Carpet Fitters a go; it’ll tickle your funny bone and chew on it too!


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