Movie Review: Teratomorph (2019)

January 25, 2019

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, director, producer, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Teratomorph begins with a child poking an amazingly fucked up corpse with a stick…and we are off to the races boils n’ ghouls!
Following that we learn an outbreak of the Havoc Virus (engineered by combining alien material with spiders to outrageously nightmare inducing effect) is running rampant, and that aforementioned kid (Elijah Meredith) and a comely pistol packin’, alien fluid extracting, mama named Svetlana (Cidney Meredith) try to survive in the hell left in the wake of this alien hell!
Teratomorph is well and truly the shit my creeps! This fright flick is loaded to the revoltin’ rafters with absolutely off-the-charts levels of gore, stop motion giant spiders, and enough alien/human genetic mutations cum body horror to make John Carpenter and David Cronenberg jump back and say “Damn, fool!” …all realized in jaw dropping, beautifully realized, practical effects ghoulish glory designed and executed like a mother fucker by Writer/Director/Producer/Creature Designer/Special Effects Artist Joe Meredith (along with James Bell). Honestly I simply can’t believe what Meredith has brought to the screen…a true creature feature connoisseur/gore hound’s wet fuckin’ dream made flesh (or latex…you cats dig on what I’m layin’ down)!
If there is a downside to Teratomorph it’s that it runs a scant thirty-three minutes (with credits)…with a fever dream world so vividly realized your’s cruelly wanted to spend more time exploring the ever-mutating horror vomited forth by this putrid picture (though to be fair, I hear tale there is another part to the story titled South Mill District that unfortunately I haven’t laid my eerie eyeballs on as of yet)!
Informed by the works of the aforementioned Messrs. Carpenter and Cronenberg…as well as Shinya Tsukamoto (Tetsuo: the Iron Man); Teratomorph presents an amazing world of alien disease, corpse/spider mutants, and apocalyptic hopelessness…all presented with superb effects (and a wonderful sense of heart and soul). Without hyperbole I can safely say that filmmaker Joe Meredith has become a true force to be reckoned with in our beloved horror biz, and you can bet your arcane asses I’ll be keeping my putrid peepers on anything he offers us next…and you lot should as well!
If you want to own your own copy of Teratomorph…and believe your’s cruelly, you absolutely do…head right here and order away!


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