Movie Review: An Hour To Kill (2018)

September 9, 2019

Written by DanXIII

Daniel XIII; the result of an arcane ritual involving a King Diamond album, a box of Count Chocula, and a copy of Swank magazine, is a screenwriter, actor, artist, and reviewer of fright flicks…Who hates ya baby?

Anthologies are a dime a demonic dozen in our beloved horror biz, but I can honestly say I’ve never seen on featuring hitmen telling terror tales before committing a kill…

The set-up to An Hour To Kill is simple; Mr. Kinski (Game of Death‘s Mel Novak) orders our “heroes” Frankie (Frankie Pozos) and Gio (Aaron Guerrero) to bump off a poor, unfortunate sumbitch in an hours time. To pass that allotted limit, horror yarns are spun, and first up is:

Valkyrie’s Bunker, which concerns a World War Two Nazi bunker located in sunny California, U. S. of fuckin’ A.!  And wouldn’t ya know it, that building is lousy with bud… supposedly. Enter five femmes who take it upon themselves to sniff out that wicked weed, which of course leads to them entering into a fight for their lives against a gas-mask wearin’ sinister slasher!

This segment is a fun homage to ’80s era stalk n’ slay affairs, and offers a strong start to these ghoulish goings-on… plus I really dug the score for this one!

Next up comes:

Assacre; the tale of a culinary vlogger (Brendan Mitchell) who enters a Mexican food eating contest and does about as well as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Instead of accepting defeat, he teams up with a former champion of the gastric game, Gabe (Gabriel Mercado), and manages to sell a preternatural pepper to the current champ. Unbelievable intestinal distress ensues.

This entry is a pure gross-out delight featuring all manner of just plain wrong elements that’s sure to appeal to lovers of Troma and Garbage Pail Kids cards… like yours cruelly!

Finally comes:

Hog Hunters which documents the misadventures of Lenny (Joe McQueen), who undergoes a hogging (don’t ask) ritual at the hands of the redneck bowling team he just joined. Of course things go south rather quick… think mutants and bestiality (I mean more than you lot usually do).

This is one entertainingly weird story, and an absolutely show-stopping way to end the whole affair!

An Hour to Kill is a nice slice of off-the-wall, fast paced, grindhouse goodness, and shouldn’t be missed by lovers of the absurd that enjoy a heaping helping of gore ladled over their gruesome goulash!

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